Quote from: sarah1972 on November 24, 2017, 06:53:53 AM
I got busted for a changed habit: up till last year, the first things I looked through in the stack of Black Friday ads was HomeDepot and Lowe's. This year: Lord and Taylor, Macy's, Kohl's... HD was Last, Lowe's I have not even touched...

This gave me a little discomfort.  My habits like this are not changing nor do I want them to.  I got worried about being perceived as not a girl because of it.  I started a thread based on your post.  Thanks for bringing it up, more therapy for me.

Bari Jo

Quote from: sarah1972 on November 24, 2017, 06:53:53 AM
I got busted for a changed habit: up till last year, the first things I looked through in the stack of Black Friday ads was HomeDepot and Lowe's. This year: Lord and Taylor, Macy's, Kohl's... HD was Last, Lowe's I have not even touched...

Before I ever thought I might transition I looked at the Kohls, Macy's etc ads first, then on to the others.



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Quote from: Bari Jo on November 24, 2017, 08:48:19 AM
This gave me a little discomfort.  My habits like this are not changing nor do I want them to.  I got worried about being perceived as not a girl because of it.  I started a thread based on your post.  Thanks for bringing it up, more therapy for me.

Bari Jo

Don't worry about it. 

My guess is a lot of those who find their habits like this changing are finally allowing them to. 

An example is when I go to a department store with my family. Before if I wasn't looking for anything in particular,  I'd waste time in the electronics or hardware or sporting goods.  I mostly would have rather been in the women's clothing section, but did not want to get caught.  Now that they know, it's usually the first area I'm headed.

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Quote from: Bari Jo on November 24, 2017, 08:48:19 AM
This gave me a little discomfort.  My habits like this are not changing nor do I want them to.  I got worried about being perceived as not a girl because of it.  I started a thread based on your post.  Thanks for bringing it up, more therapy for me.

Bari Jo

I know I've run into that - the "I'll be found out" fear. It's actually something my therapist and I talked about.

Her point was that a lot of the things I do to be perceived as "womanly" are overcompensating for the fact that I'm physically a man. I tend to wear heels, dresses, etc, figuring that I need to go extra girly to cover things up.  It's not that I think you have to do these things as a woman - if I see a woman in pants with short hair, I don't think of her as a man because of it - it's that I'm self conscious of having male "markers".

But I've also known plenty of women that have "male markers" - the way they walk, a deeper voice, or "manly" hobbies, yet I've never thought of them as men, and they've never been afraid of being thought of as men.

So yeah, I hear what you're saying, and I've gone through a lot of it myself. And for me, a part of getting past it was just being more comfortable in my own skin.  The more I'm Sarah, the more natural it feels, and the less I'm worried about seeming "manly".



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Quote from: Phoenix1742 on November 24, 2017, 09:36:38 AM

Her point was that a lot of the things I do to be perceived as "womanly" are overcompensating for the fact that I'm physically a man. I tend to wear heels, dresses, etc, figuring that I need to go extra girly to cover things up.  It's not that I think you have to do these things as a woman - if I see a woman in pants with short hair, I don't think of her as a man because of it - it's that I'm self conscious of having male "markers".

Same here, Phoenix. The first couple of times I went out fully dressed, it was skirts and heels. Now that I'm getting more comfortable with my role, I'm ok with women's jeans and nice flats, etc. I do tend to accessorize with scarves, necklaces, earrings, etc. And my wife, who never wears makeup, is the impatient one as I'm working on my face. But I have so much to compensate for so I'm not read as male. What I'm doing seems to be working, so I'll keep it up until HRT does enough magic that it's not necessary any more.

My personal theory is people will make their judgement on your gender in a split second when they first see you, and will stick with that perception unless you do something unusual or flamboyant to change their minds. If you show more feminine cues than masculine, that's how you're read. My wife, of course, has those cues built-in without needing enhancement. I have to work a little harder at it.

And the catalog thing: I would of course look at the tool catalogs when people were looking. When they weren't, it was women's ads. Which ones came first depended on who was around at the moment.

Steph

Quote from: sarah1972 on November 24, 2017, 06:53:53 AM
I got busted for a changed habit: up till last year, the first things I looked through in the stack of Black Friday ads was HomeDepot and Lowe's. This year: Lord and Taylor, Macy's, Kohl's... HD was Last, Lowe's I have not even touched...

Haha, I got called out for looking through the women's catalogs too.

Quote from: Roll on November 24, 2017, 09:56:20 AM
Haha, I got called out for looking through the women's catalogs too.

  Along this line of thought, I dreaded those catalogues that would show up in the mail box with my name on them after having ordered something for myself. Magazines like Victoria's secret or Fredrick's of Hollywood. It made me order "gifts" for women in my life to cover my tracks and provide an acceptable excuse. Of course this works best around holidays that gifts are traditionally given.
  Now it doesn't matter, which is good since my female gifting pool has shrunk drastically this year. My email is mainly department store and women's store ads now.

I'm not worried about habits. My wife has as many 'manly' habits as I do. She loves mechanic work (just no good at it due to experience, not ability), fixing things. Heck, she rebuilt the picnic table with help from a neighbor (who's good with wood). She looks at my 'man' magazines before I do. It really boils done to what makes you feel good, not what passes. If you're primary concern is passing then you'll always be self-conscience and second guessing yourself. But that's me, I'm all about comfort.

I'm lucky in that if I want a 'girly' magazine, my wife will read it with me.

On to my morning happy moment(s):

T-day: more hair compliments .. I have the benefit of nice hair and the fact I've always preferred it long so they're used to it. It's styled a bit differently now as I work to let my bangs grow out. Odd thing, my wife noticed that my hair seems darker, less gray ... diet change? I wore my girls shoes, no one noticed or they didn't care.

Went to get blood drawn this morning. I put on nice slacks (a pair that my wife shrunk out of ), a nice blouse and ... my new boots. They need broken in and I need practice so away I went.

I felt good & comfortable. No issues. I did feel a little off in the boots, part of the learning curve I guess. I think I held my posture pretty good and I didn't clomp as much.

Today I met a friend in town and had a coffee and a look around the clothes shops. First time I've really interacted with people apart from the therapist as Ellie 

Ellie xx

I went to a relative's house for Thanksgiving, nervous as heck.

She knew about my transition from other family members, but hasn't ever seen me dressed as myself.  I was sort of dreading this - yet she did fantastic, using my current name, pronouns, etc, without seemingly missing a beat or being hesitant in the least.  She finally did make a comment on my appearance - and even that was wonderful: "You've really lost a lot of weight!"

This relative is 95, and is basically the little old lady that is a staple of every local church.  So don't write off people based on stereotypes!

Quote from: Laurie on November 24, 2017, 10:11:05 AM
  Along this line of thought, I dreaded those catalogues the would show up in the mail box with my name on them after having ordered something for myself.

Heh. I signed up for the Ulta loyalty program under the masculine version of my name, and their mailing software automatically converted it to the feminine version!

My wife and I found out about a second-hand clothing boutique from a friend.  Today, we checked it out, and wow!  The owner has an eye for style and colour, and the prices are insanely reasonable.  I got a pair of bright blue (not denim) summer-weight jeans that fit me perfectly, and a thick purple cardigan, for $10 each!

looked in the mirror today....had a slight hourglass shape to my body, despite the belly fat.  If I lose more weight, it might become more apparent.

Second half of the family had thanksgiving dinner today.  Things went well.  My 3 year old niece accepted it just fine.  No problems with how things progressed.

Had lunch with my mom (actually step-mom, but I call her my mom now) today. It was the first mother-daughter outing we've had, and it felt wonderful. She's the type of person who isn't shy about pointing things out if she sees an issue, but she didn't say anything along those lines - not about my outfit, makeup, voice, mannerisms, etc..  I should have taken a picture. I'm still so bad about that!
Just wish we could have done more than just lunch, but she had some papers to write for her classes. Still, it was a good 2-1/2 hours or so. We're going to be going holiday shopping together in a couple weeks though!

I tried on a bra for the first time in three months.  I still don't need one.  I bought a 36b a while ago with extenders just to practice.  Back then I had to wear an extender and it's was tight, super tight.  Today, no extender and it feels comfortable.  Weight loss is awesome.  But of course no way can I fill these cups.  It might be fun to try an a cup though.

Bari Jo

I told my mom i would need help after surgery when i have it and she said she would help. I only told her i want a nose job and liposuction.. i want ffs too

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Where to start....  I spent 12 hours in the kitchen yesterday making a COMPLETE turkey dinner for my-soon-to-be-ex (we get along great), my two kids and the kids' dates.  I started at 7am.  The arrived between 5:30 and 6:15pm as expected.  Dinner went off without a hitch.  NO disasters, nothing burned, nothing under cooked, the Turkey was moist and delicious.  When I went to bed everything was cleaned up and the dishwasher was running.

It couldn't have gone any better.

Quote from: Denise on November 25, 2017, 09:27:02 AM
Where to start....  I spent 12 hours in the kitchen yesterday making a COMPLETE turkey dinner for my-soon-to-be-ex (we get along great), my two kids and the kids' dates.  I started at 7am.  The arrived between 5:30 and 6:15pm as expected.  Dinner went off without a hitch.  NO disasters, nothing burned, nothing under cooked, the Turkey was moist and delicious.  When I went to bed everything was cleaned up and the dishwasher was running.

It couldn't have gone any better.

What level of sorcery did you employ?! I've never heard of a Thanksgiving dinner going off without a hitch....

Sitting in the lounge relaxing with my niece while my wife folded the washing. Michele then picks up a black pair of panties and asks if they were mine or Jessica's. We all had a laugh as it is not a normal question for family group.


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Funniest things I heard today were the nicknames people give HRT:

- Tit Tacs
- Fem & M's
- Injectrogen
- Breast mints
- Wh***-moans
- Transquilizers
- Estra-darts
- Anticistamines