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TG "Girl" Seeking some guidance.

Started by angelic8632002, February 29, 2008, 03:25:59 AM

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angelic8632002

Hi people. I have been depating for some time now if i should seek help outside of the "conventional" medical service.
And after a few revalations about myself and the way i feel, i feel compelled to seek a second opinion.
Please bear with me, i am not used to asking for help like this online.

It all started in my "teens" when i went through puberty like everyone else, only i hated it. I was disgusted by the hairgrowth
and muscle-development. I also feelt out of place in "society", and after a while i realized i had not that much in common with the
guys at the school i went at.

Sadly like so many others i supressed my feelings and felt like ->-bleeped-<-t becouse of it.
Today im 26 and i am in a program for transsexuals, funded by the state where i live (Sweden).
And all things concidering things are going well, the doctors are convinced that im not nuts (heh) and have agreed to let me
start with hormones and hair removal etc.

Now here comes the tricky part, i like my penis. I have a girlfriend and our sexlife is active and fulfilling.
But i dont know if the doctors will help me if i tell them i dont want to go "all the way".
But this isnt really why i posted here, i have contacted a non-state funded organization that operate here in Sweden and
work with "queer" issues and civil rights. Im going to ask for their opinion, they probably have a good opinion i can use.

Now to the part i want to ask about.
Is it possible to go through hormone treatment and still have a functional sex life? Will there be complications if i want to keep my penis?
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Terra

Hmm, not sure how the program works in Sweden but...

There really isn't any reason for them to take you off the program. Just because there are good reasons to do the surgery doesn't mean everyone does. There are serious medical and personal reasons for not getting the surgery. But I would talk it out with your doctor though.
"If you quit before you try, you don't deserve to dream." -grandmother
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lady amarant

Unfortunately some doctors do let their personal bias get in the way of objective professionalism, but unless there is an official policy about this having to be an all or nothing deal, I think you could probably fight it should it ever come to something nasty like kicking you out.

I know that there are a few psychiatrists in the South African program that are very much of the "You're not TS/TG if you don't want surgery" persuasion, and unfortunately they usually go on to deny people hormones, gender counselling or anything else, falling back on the idea that there is something else "wrong" with you.

Luckily this is something that can be fought because it isn't policy (not written anyway) , and a handful of people have managed to do so successfully. I say be yourself. Do what you have to if you see that things are going South, but don't compromise your own identity to fit into some idiot's bigoted world view. If you have no alternative but to lie about it to keep your place, then so be it.
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angelic8632002

Thank you for your input.
I havent really though about policies, thats something i should be able to look upp without
asking my doctors.
On a side note, Sweden can be suprisingly "liberal" about alot of things and still be concervative minded.
I think its more due to burocracy than personal conviction.
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Seshatneferw

Quote from: angelic8632002 on February 29, 2008, 03:25:59 AM
But i dont know if the doctors will help me if i tell them i dont want to go "all the way".

They should, of course. There is a lot of variation in what GID does to people, and the classical transsexual route of full transition with SRS is certainly not the only option, even in the medical manuals.

Quote
Now to the part i want to ask about.
Is it possible to go through hormone treatment and still have a functional sex life? Will there be complications if i want to keep my penis?

This is the real tricky part. Oestrogen and testosterone are not called sex hormones for nothing, and the balance has very much to do with not just sex characteristics but also with sexuality. The specifics of how HRT affects sex life vary from person to person, but it's almost certain that there will be some changes in how your penis behaves.

The good part is that the changes should appear before anything permanent happens, so you'd have time to stop HRT if it gets too bad. But it's something you should probably discuss with both your doctor and your girlfriend.

Anyway, unless you are far enough on the severity scale that it's a choice between SRS and death (which you obviously aren't), the treatment plan is ultimately a matter of making compromises. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to be what you need to be? What are you willing to sacrifice in order to be with the person you love? What is she willing to sacrifice?

Good luck with this, och välkommen.

  Nfr
Whoopee! Man, that may have been a small one for Neil, but it's a long one for me.
-- Pete Conrad, Apollo XII
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angelic8632002

Thank you for the replies.
You have given me much to think about.
Im afraid not going through with the HRT is out of the question for me.
(looking and passing as a woman comes first)
I will continue to look for treatments/medications that can help me continue have a fullfilling
sexlife under the change and afterwords.
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Ms Bev

If you do serious hrt with standard androgen blockers, etc, you will most likely become impotent.  Most transitioning mtf lose the ability to get, or maintain an erection after being on hrt.

1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy
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