Argh surely this isn't just me.
My hair is naturally very wavy and is now around an average of six inches long, so getting pretty long for hair.

So, I've followed all the tips and hints. Do not shampoo a lot as it strips the natural oils, condition daily blah blah blah.
I use straighteners after using a heat protection oil and if I have used conditioner my hair just ignores them and rebels and it looks like a disgusting mess.

Now if I skip a day washing all together (well I wash with water) then its pliable and sits nicely and neatly. It's like the supposed anti frizz condition actually creates MORE wildness.

It's making me upset and wanting to just chop it all off.
Does this happen to others too?

I've actually been using my young daughters (no tangles) spray after a shampoo,  this seems to help alot. I also only use shampoo every second or third wash,  otherwise I just "conpoo", wash my hair only using conditioner.
Many cis-women also have this same problem,  if you keep growing it longer,  the extra weight might also help. X

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After I had surgery on my neck my shoulders were damaged and I could no longer wash my hair as my arms won't reach. So I've been going to the hairdresser once a fortnight for a wash and blow dry, we worked out a deal and my hair has never been better.  Maybe we do wash hair too often.

I have a couple girlfriend's with curly hair and they swear by sulfate free shampoos. I know Wen makes a good one and Sally's has a cheaper version.

I wash my hair only about once every 4-5 days and since starting to do this it has become much stronger and far better conditioned...the thought drove me a little crazy but the actual doing it is really good.

Yeah your hair sounds a lot like mine. Unruly and wavy?

Wash it. Use a good quality shampoo. I use Garnier Sleek and Shine. Then I use the same in the conditioner and leave it on while I shave my legs. Then... after you towel pat it then use the Sleek and Shine leave in conditioner. Then... Use something like Frizz Ease. Then let it dry naturally. You can always use a quality gel too but the whole key is to let it dry and get hard and then run you fingers through it to soften it. It will probably stay but not be to volumous.

Look. You have to wash your hair so a good quality shampoo and conditioner is a must. When I was more lesbian or transbian than a straight woman I hated smelling a woman's hair that only washed every three or four days. Then you get that sweaty smell and or dandruff.

But if you take good care of it, it will take good care of you. I wash and condition everyday and it doesn't damage my hair. But then again I have wavy/curly hair and use Frizz Ease and let it dry naturally with very little gel and I don't suffer split ends or anything else.

Using heat to style it damages it more than washing with shampoo everyday if you condition it too. I have tried flat irons and blow driers to style it but it looks best and most healthy when I let it air dry and do nothing. It may be unruly but a sexy sort of unruly.

I still have bags but they are curly though. Wet they are below my nose and when they dry about brow length. Still sexy though. So the old saying is true, girls with straight hair want curls and girls with curls want straight hair. So just let your hair be. Just take care of it. OMG there is nothing worst than being a transbian with a girlfriend and smelling sweat if you bury your face in her long hair. It is the same with guys and long hair. I don't want to play with all that hair and it stinks.

Seriously though heat will damage it way more than washing it ever will. If you want straight hair then go buy a wig that matches your hair color and then wear it when you want it straight. But curls and waves are sexy though. I mean a precision bob that is totally straight with precision bangs is kind of sexy too but... most men like long wavy or curly hair.

Quote from: MissKairi on October 24, 2017, 04:18:49 AM
It's making me upset and wanting to just chop it all off.
Does this happen to others too?

Yes. I chopped it all as my hair became messy after getting a cheap perm treatment at a hair salon. I will regrow it while never treating it with dye, perm or straightener. Short hair can surprisingly make you look more feminine, too, and it is so much easy to shampoo and dry my short hair.


While travelling in Nagasaki, Japan, last week.

barbie~~

Quote from: barbie on November 18, 2017, 03:36:56 PM
Yes. I chopped it all as my hair became messy after getting a cheap perm treatment at a hair salon. I will regrow it while never treating it with dye, perm or straightener. Short hair can surprisingly make you look more feminine, too, and it is so much easy to shampoo and dry my short hair.


While travelling in Nagasaki, Japan, last week.

barbie~~

Yeah Barbie but a bob is so sexy to some guys. I tried straightening my hair with chemicals one time and messed it up pretty bad. Then I had to let it grow until I could get a nice feminine pixie cut. But one thing is if you want to color your hair, do it your natural color or close to it. I went totally blonde one time and it totally screwed my hair up. That was a friend that did that for me and she was going to Cosmetology school and supposedly knew what she was doing but not so much.

Always go total professional though. They will or should at least tell you what your hair can handle. Right now, mine is black and it sux because I have to go back every two or three weeks for the roots.

But my suggestion is always go total professional and follow their advice. My "guy" tells me the best length for wavy and or curly, the best color from my natural hair and the best products to use on it even if I don't buy from him and his salon. I do buy my hairspray from him but he told me about Garnier Sleek and Shine and told me with my hair and scalp it was better to wash everyday and frizz ease. But hey we are friends too so... That may have an effect on what he wants to sell me. But I do love the hairspray he sells in his solon though. I can't find that at Wal-Mart.

But just like being trans, everyone's hair is different. If I go a day without washing then it gets way too oily and not very desirable to my BF. I can smell it even

I can't use blow driers or straight irons. I just have to live with it being wavy/curly and somewhat unruly. But it is healthy though. Yes I have bangs and straighten them most of the time. That seems to be ultra femme for my face so I have them. My stylist suggested them and does them just right.

But before you do anything find a stylist that will have your best interests and looks at heart. et them tell you how often to  shampoo and condition and what to use.

Try natural henna and indigo. Not only will it intensify the color. It will condition your hair like nothing else. It's more messy than the chemicals but, it's not chemicals. All natural.

Quote from: DawnOday on November 20, 2017, 03:02:24 PM
Try natural henna and indigo. Not only will it intensify the color. It will condition your hair like nothing else. It's more messy than the chemicals but, it's not chemicals. All natural.

ONG Argon Oil is my favorite. It makes my hair smooth but not greasy looking and still gives me volume. I have done the beer thing, the mayonnaise thing, the raw egg thing and so on. I have never tried henna but isn't that what Indians use for temp tats on their hands? That would be a nice color though.

Quote from: Jenntrans on November 20, 2017, 03:16:34 PM
ONG Argon Oil is my favorite. It makes my hair smooth but not greasy looking and still gives me volume. I have done the beer thing, the mayonnaise thing, the raw egg thing and so on. I have never tried henna but isn't that what Indians use for temp tats on their hands? That would be a nice color though.

Yes the Desi's use henna for body art.  But for hair Black Henna is the perfect color for people looking to deepen their already black hair and for people looking to darken their dark brown hair. Using indigo leaves in addition to a specific ratio of henna leaf and bark, this black henna is a powerful dark natural hair color. Please Note: When using henna, it is easier to go darker but difficult to go lighter. Start with a shade lighter than you expect if you are unsure.

Morrocco Method Henna is 100% chemical free and contains no harsh metals, parabens, or toxins that irritate the hair and scalp. No matter the color of henna, it is deeply nourishing, conditioning and the perfect alternative to harsh chemical hair dyes.

I too love the Argon oil especially on my grey hair. But I am thinking of using cassia and natural henna to make my hair a light strawberry blond

Quote from: Jenntrans on November 20, 2017, 02:14:15 PM
But before you do anything find a stylist that will have your best interests and looks at heart. et them tell you how often to  shampoo and condition and what to use.

Thanks Jenntrans,

Here most stylists are keen on earning money. I used to pay as much as US$ 300 for straightening my long hair.
Yes. The more expensive, the better is my hair quality.

To save money, I just stopped at a cheap hair salon this summer, messing up all of my hair. I paid just ca. US$ 50.

Fortunately, my friends and colleagues now say that I look far better with the short hair style.
But I wish to regrow it, at this time, with nice quality.

barbie~~

  I knew there was a good reason to avoid this thread. I so wish I had your problems.  I caught a look at the back of my head using a mirror and it is as big and bare as the crown of my head. I am so bald that I'm sure there is no hope of getting hair graphs because there isn't enough hair left to harvest what would be needed. It's wigs forever for me. It's just one more thing that makes me wonder what the heck I am doing.

I am feeling your pain MissKairi.  My hair was curly in my younger years but now mostly frizzy.  I have struggled to bring it under control even did research (LOL).  I am not sulfate free yet but may try it one of these days.  My routine now along with biotin & collage nutracutical supplements(pills) is a good quality shampoo and conditioner.  Right now its OGX that you can find at Wal-mart for both shampoo and conditioner. I use the Vitamin E shampoo and everything else in the conditioner (lots of ingredients to help your hair in it).  I then gently comb it out and let it air dry.  After it is mostly dry I apply as Jenntrans suggested, Frizz Ease.  It is an aragan oil base that really settles things down.  i also got a gentle brush that is less likely to tangle things that seems to help.  Oh and as I learned in my youth, brush your hair 100 times a day.
In spite of all the wonderful advise we have given you should not stop you from an appointment to a professional hairdresser.  They can set you straight pretty quick and may just save you in the long run trying to figure out what works for your hair.

Quote from: Laurie on November 25, 2017, 08:10:45 PM
  I knew there was a good reason to avoid this thread. I so wish I had your problems.  I caught a look at the back of my head using a mirror and it is as big and bare as the crown of my head. I am so bald that I'm sure there is no hope of getting hair graphs because there isn't enough hair left to harvest what would be needed. It wigs forever for me. It's just one more thing that makes me wonder what the heck I am doing.

"Never look at the back or your hair Laurie. What you think looks like "->-bleeped-<-" and a "mess" some want to touch, feel and run their fingers through.

I hate curly hair. OMFG I wish I had straight but I don't. I would prefer totally straight hair like what Barbie has but much like being trans, that isn't the "cards I was dealt". I have tried to straighten it from blow drying to flat irons to chemicals. Screw it as long as it is healthy. Where my hair parts naturally may look messed up but not really. It is still thick and curly/wavy but my hair growth is a little different.

Hey Hun. I like wigs. Match the color of your own hair and buy quality and even human hair which is expensive then no one will be able to tell the difference.

But hey women go bald too. Just because you ar trans doesn't mean you are "special" it just means you are normal.

Personally I love wigs and a lot of who I have dated do also. You can go from long to short, curly to straight, raven black to platinum blonde and so on.

Look a two boyfriends ago and appx 10 years my BF wanted to "buzz' my head. I let him then he wanted to see what it felt like a couple of days later with a razor shaved head. I still have the high quality "glue on" wigs that he paid for so... Hair is only hair. Personally I love bald guys but not too many shave their head totally. Even my BF now won't.

Maybe I have a hair fetish. Even for a guy, trim that ->-bleeped-<- all over. Shedding when it comes to men sux for me.

I do the wig deal too but I do hae a full head of hair so far. But changing styles and color is so cool. My partner love is and I do to but I do have a full head of hair but keep it in a bob with short bangs. He likes that too. Hell if I was totally bald and couldn't even grow hair and we had this convo if I ever got sick enough to have Chemo and vice versa... then neither one would care. Or so he says anyway.

Yes we are trans but do you know how many times I have been called gay? I don't really care about that but my potential mate that loves a woman that is shrouded in men's aspects, I hurt for them. Not for me but for them.

Sometime hun or Laurie ->-bleeped-<- get twisted and weird and taboo. You just have to go with it and hope like hell your partner can roll with the punches.

whoever is going to love you will love you no matter what. Personally I love men. But no mate what, hair should not equal love.

Quote from: JulieOnHerWay on November 25, 2017, 09:40:08 PM
I am feeling your pain MissKairi.  My hair was curly in my younger years but now mostly frizzy.  I have struggled to bring it under control even did research (LOL).  I am not sulfate free yet but may try it one of these days.  My routine now along with biotin & collage nutracutical supplements(pills) is a good quality shampoo and conditioner.  Right now its OGX that you can find at Wal-mart for both shampoo and conditioner. I use the Vitamin E shampoo and everything else in the conditioner (lots of ingredients to help your hair in it).  I then gently comb it out and let it air dry.  After it is mostly dry I apply as Jenntrans suggested, Frizz Ease.  It is an aragan oil base that really settles things down.  i also got a gentle brush that is less likely to tangle things that seems to help.  Oh and as I learned in my youth, brush your hair 100 times a day.
In spite of all the wonderful advise we have given you should not stop you from an appointment to a professional hairdresser.  They can set you straight pretty quick and may just save you in the long run trying to figure out what works for your hair.

Never brush your hair with 100 strokes a day if you have curly hair. If you have curly hair then wet maybe a wide tooth comb but never a brush. To be completely honest if you have curly hair the only time your hair needs to experience a comb and let along a brush is a trim at the Salon.

The best thing that I have found is washing and I do everyday and then condition while I shave my legs in the shower is Garnier Fructis both shampoo and conditioner before shaving. Then you can use leave in Conditioner but the Frizz Ease and then add the highest LA Looks gel. But don't let it dry too much.

Curly and wavy hair is different than straight hair. OMFG I wish my hair was straight but it isn't. :* A lot of men like the curls and the waves. A lot of women too if you are transbian.

But that 100 strokes per night is a load of BS. If you have curls and or waves then you don't even need a brush and just your fingers.

I mean I have bangs or a fringe that I straighten with a flat Iron but the rest just dries naturally. I don't know what else to say but I look really good with bangs or a fringe.

bangs seems to drive men crazy because they are hiding you forehead and have a sort of "come hither" look that drives them wild. I really can't explain it other then all of the hair is long but only one small part of it is short and maybe we will ask them to cut it. ???Eventually

I have asked my BF to cut my bangs and that make him wilder than anything else. He screwed them up a few years ago and I had to have "betty bangs" and I had to fix them. He also likes my shoulder length bob and is on may ass to cut it shorter. I don't think so.

Jesus Christ. What is it about hair and men?

I feel lucky to have straight hair and I've really been enjoying growing it out, pattern baldness notwithstanding. I mostly keep it back in a ponytail and the sensation of that bobbing adds some spring to my step!

I've used conditioners and shampoos that really disappointed and for now I'm quite happy with the shikai products, mostly due to their including henna for some tint and shine. I used to use conditioners back when I didn't actually care about my hair / appearance and it felt dumb however since now it's one of the few ways I can express some femme affect, I'm all about keeping my hair as well cared for as possible. I've grown it to upper back length and can't decide whether I'm gonna stop at long/mid back or really long like down to my butt :-).

Like others have said, I wash it every 3-5 days, if it needs rinsing I use some conditioner but since being on hrt my hair is a lot less oily so a couple days without water isn't a problem.

I really don't or can understand the three to five day thing. Yes I do know everyone is different but if I skip a day my hair gets totally so messed up and then my B ells me it kind of stnks and mells like sweat.

I wash it everyday then it seem and feel way fresher and then... You go two days then you shed twice as many hairs. Three days three times.

I would say wash it everyday and condition every day.

When I was first starting out I went six months without shampoo.  I finally gave that up when it got longer and was getting sweat saturated every day.

One thing I have found that works really well is a hot brush for after a shower.  It works a lot better for me than an iron and I don't think my hair gets as hot using it.


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Quote from: Deborah on November 27, 2017, 06:14:31 PM
When I was first starting out I went six months without shampoo.  I finally gave that up when it got longer and was getting sweat saturated every day.

One thing I have found that works really well is a hot brush for after a shower.  It works a lot better for me than an iron and I don't think my hair gets as hot using it.


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OMG six moths without shampoo?

The thing about hair is to take care of it. You will shed hairs. When it gets longer then they become more noticeable. Butr you are going to shed if you wash it or not. It isn't uncommon for humans to shed 100 or more hairs per day. That is normal. Human hair only grows for about 7 years and then it will die and fall out no matter what.

Washing it may be bad for some but not for me. If I don't wash everyday then it gets really crappy looking and greasy. So use a good quality shampoo and conditioner. Then you have hair texture too that you have to take into account. My hair is curly wavy and when I was married she used to always mess up my hair brush.

But someone that knows hair should be able to tell you face to face on what you need to do and what is normal shedding as compared to MPB. HRT is a good way to stop it but if it has already started then ... But seriously hair will get thinner the older we get. My ex's grandma was almost bald and she gave birth to 10 children.

But in a worst case scenario wigs are not a bad option. Not too long ago I got a bob with short statement bangs and hated it. I was stupid. I let my BF talk me into it but never again but I went and bought some quality wigs I still wear the wigs and my hair is to my shoulders now with my bangs past my nose. But the wigs is a good option. I mean seriously now I am thinking about keeping a bob that is chin length and bangs that are brow length. Really long hair is a pain in the butt. It is nice but still a pain in the butt when it gets windy. A wig matched to my hair color that I can wear or not and then take off when it is windy? I am kind of sold on non natural hair.

My hair used to be halfway down my back and forget about blow dryers or whatever to dry it. That messed it up more than the haircut. I was either eating it or it was in my face when I worked. Then I went for bangs like Merissa Ramirez on Blue Bloods but it still blew around my face. So I chose along with my BF a chin length bob with statement bangs and he loved it. I kind of did too but now it is shoulder length and I let him trim my bangs and OMG that seems to turn him on so much. OMG, guys? I really don't know what it is but guys seem to have a haircutting fetish. I really don't think there is any explanation for it.

LOL guys like to do hair as much as I do so... Let them have their fun. Let them trim it and if you are brave whatever else too. But... never unless they are committed to you and vice versa. I have had a man I dated for a couple of weeks that wanted to shave my head and asked me if he could. I don't think so.

Wow way off topic.