Helllo Everyone

I have been on hrt for two months now and I am wondering what kind of changes I should have with my brain, ie thinking. I haven't really noticed any  major changes, except being more emotional, somewhat calmer. I think partly that is due to my current occupation being an over the road truck driver. I can't really act or think feminely and be safe, which really sucks, but hopefully will be getting off the road very soon, so I can continue transition. I am not sure what changes are supposed to have happened by now, Is it possible due to my occupation that I am fighting the changes in my mind to not transition to quickly while being out here on the road.

I would love to hear from everyone on this and what they have experienced and whether I need to be worried that hrt is not affecting the way it should. I mean physically I already have some affects, ie breast development, thinner skin, thicker hair. I just worried about the mental part, i know I am ts and that I am doing what I need to become my trueself.

I guess what started me thinking about this was I read a post earlier and it said that if hrt wasn't affecting your brain, the way you think in obvious ways then maybe you aren't a transsexual and that scared me.  I am just being paranoid or is there something to that?

Please any responses would be greatly appreciated

Hugz,
Ariana

Some people says HRT changes them mentally, but I don't think that happens for everyone.

I have the same interests, same hobbys, likes and dislikes, what would you consider a mental change?  Yeah I haven't been on HRT long, but like maybe people just think they change mentally because they open themselves up even more than they were before?  I mean, locking everything up inside you can put a toll on you. . . so would those who pursue different interests having a mental change or an ability to pursue something new without fear of being discriminated?

I live rhetorical questions even though I never answer the questions that people ask

Sorry Ariana for not really answering the question but I figured eh it's sorta a reply.

I guess what started me thinking about this was I read a post earlier and it said that if hrt wasn't affecting your brain, the way you think in obvious ways then maybe you aren't a transsexual and that scared me.  I am just being paranoid or is there something to that?

I wouldn't stress about it.  If you feel comfortable with the changes than that is what works for u.

Audrey

Hi Ariana
I quite agree with the other girls, don't fight it, just go with the flow. As far as psychological goes, you will find some changes in the pattern of how you think and process thoughts and observations with noticable  changes will be a very subtle changes, nearly noticeable but eventually it will come to your conscious mind. Like how you use to perceived certain things before transitioning you will see under a different light after a few months on HRT. 

Ah yes, the emotions, it is the emotions that will be most noticeable at first,  followed closely in second place are the breasts then to other parts of your body. The tissue around the nipples of your breasts will feel really sensitive to the touch, feels some like when you have bruised tissue. You will not feel much changes in the first 2 months on HRT and yes you may have some emotional moments sometimes for positive reasons other times for negative reasons and for no apparent reason at times

As for hobbies, well I love writing fantasy stories and I love working with people, I am also an artist and I am a Wiccan and Empath and participate with other groups here that are into these practices.  I use to have some male hobbies like a wood work shop, and a machine shop.  But as I moved about all over half of eastern US and Canada. I pretty well left my tools of the trade behind me here and there as I moved about.

As to how long it will take for noticeable reaction to HRT depends on age if you are young you will find some noticeable changes within 6 moths, if older then it could be anywhere between 4 to 5 years. I have been full time for 7 years and started HRT 8 years ago ad I am still finding some changes happening in my body, like such as the the legs butt and hips. I am 62 years old.  So embrace she who resides within, you may draw your strength and your power from her if you wish to.

I don't really know as to how far you are into transition before you started HRT. Just let other women around you teach you, "pay attention," "observe," and they will not even realise it, but they will be your teachers.  Observe, study then touch your own inner-self and feel her. Anyway that was the way I did it and I am also quite sufficiently aware that  human nature for each individual one of us to observe and perceive things differently. These are only suggestions from my own experience as to how I worked it for me but again I will say that my concept may not necessarily work the same way for another. 

Cindy

mentally hormones have made me calmer, emotionally and how i act/think. in terms of what hobbies or etc i like, its till them same. mental changes were slow, subtle and not very much overall. I am 100% confident that they are right for me though and i dont care who said or implied  -> ""if hrt wasn't affecting your brain, the way you think in obvious ways then maybe you aren't a transsexual "" needs a smack {-_-}

The thought process does change but again it may vary as to how profound from one person and another. It is known that HRT will take effect quite readily for one person but hardly will be of little benefit for another. I have been on hormones for 8 years and didn't notice much change except for body. It hasn't been since the last couple of years that I became aware of how my thought processes changed. I wish I could explain the difference and I can't don't have words for it but I will say I enjoy and love all of the changes I have experienced.

Cindy

Quote from: Renate on February 29, 2008, 03:30:26 AM

If someone starting out on HRT was freaking out on the physical/sexual changes, then probably HRT was not for them.

I
Renate

I disagree with you. I can't go full time on the job I have. And won't be able to transition on my job. There should be concerns like this because how can you transition without a job? I will start this year but I need to think about what type of job i want to do and have enough money to transition on. I want the the changes but will i be able to hold a job is my biggest fear.

Hi Kimberly Kilpatrick
I will say that you have certainly a justified fear in loosing your job. Unless one has already have a good solid job and the company is TS friendly, I will pray that yours is. ave you done any research to see if they do?

Now for the person who is in transition and have not yet secured a solid employment that is TS friendly then they could very well end up looking for work as McDonald's. I was lucky when I came out on my job I continued to work at that job for 8 years and 7 year full time.

Unless someone is coming out of college with some type of degree and some type of trade they may have a hard time of it getting a job.

When you go for a job interviews unless you are a very passable TS the employer doesn't have to hire you. They could always say the person behind you was more qualified. It's a real catch 22 I am thankful that Wing Walker and I both have a fairly good disability pension coming in every month

Cindy

If HRT made your style of thinking feminine, then wouldn't that mean it was male before hand?  Wouldn't that then mean you aren't eligable for hormone therapy in the first place?
After all, isn't transsexualism most commonly summed up as, "trapped in the opposite sex's body?"  Ie: identifying and thinking as one of the opposite sex that one was born into.

Quote from: Annwyn on February 29, 2008, 07:20:00 AM
If HRT made your style of thinking feminine, then wouldn't that mean it was male before hand?  Wouldn't that then mean you aren't eligable for hormone therapy in the first place?
After all, isn't transsexualism most commonly summed up as, "trapped in the opposite sex's body?"  Ie: identifying and thinking as one of the opposite sex that one was born into.

You make a valid point Annwyn, but the sex horomones of the body you are born into do affect your brain and thought patterns. You might know yourself to be female and still find your T-influenced brain thinking about sex every 5 seconds, with you hating every second of it. Keep in mind that much of what we regard as "free will" and independant thought is actually instinct designed to maximise our chances at personal survival and procreation. One of the main goals in practices like meditation and the like is to recognise this and separate your 'essential self' from your instinct driven ego.

I found this the most disconcerting thing when I hit puberty - the physical changes were unwelcome enough, but the mental changes were HORRIBLE, and played the dominant role in driving me to study the paranormal, get into meditative martial arts and take up meditation and the like. Those things helped, and switching to vegan helped as well, but the greatest relief for me was when I started taking anti-androgens about 9 months ago. The absolute freedom of having those drives and instincts lifted away or just fading gradually was a revelation.

So at this point I'm ready to start full HRT within the week, and really, if I had to say what I'm looking forward to head and shoulders above anything else, it's the mental changes.

Quote from: Annwyn on February 29, 2008, 07:20:00 AM
If HRT made your style of thinking feminine, then wouldn't that mean it was male before hand?  Wouldn't that then mean you aren't eligable for hormone therapy in the first place?
After all, isn't transsexualism most commonly summed up as, "trapped in the opposite sex's body?"  Ie: identifying and thinking as one of the opposite sex that one was born into.

Gotta hate those catch 22s.

Quote from: lady amarant on February 29, 2008, 08:29:12 AM

Quote from: Annwyn on February 29, 2008, 07:20:00 AM
If HRT made your style of thinking feminine, then wouldn't that mean it was male before hand?  Wouldn't that then mean you aren't eligable for hormone therapy in the first place?
After all, isn't transsexualism most commonly summed up as, "trapped in the opposite sex's body?"  Ie: identifying and thinking as one of the opposite sex that one was born into.

You make a valid point Annwyn, but the sex horomones of the body you are born into do affect your brain and thought patterns. You might know yourself to be female and still find your T-influenced brain thinking about sex every 5 seconds, with you hating every second of it. Keep in mind that much of what we regard as "free will" and independant thought is actually instinct designed to maximise our chances at personal survival and procreation. One of the main goals in practices like meditation and the like is to recognise this and separate your 'essential self' from your instinct driven ego.

I found this the most disconcerting thing when I hit puberty - the physical changes were unwelcome enough, but the mental changes were HORRIBLE, and played the dominant role in driving me to study the paranormal, get into meditative martial arts and take up meditation and the like. Those things helped, and switching to vegan helped as well, but the greatest relief for me was when I started taking anti-androgens about 9 months ago. The absolute freedom of having those drives and instincts lifted away or just fading gradually was a revelation.

So at this point I'm ready to start full HRT within the week, and really, if I had to say what I'm looking forward to head and shoulders above anything else, it's the mental changes.

I remember those paranormal adventures and angst. Not vegan... But I connect. I hated puberty as well.

Quote from: cindybc on February 29, 2008, 06:26:14 AM
Hi Kimberly Kilpatrick
I will say that you have certainly a justified fear in loosing your job. Unless one has already have a good solid job and the company is TS friendly, I will pray that yours is. ave you done any research to see if they do?


Cindy

http://www.diversityworking.com/communityChannels/gayAndLesbian/

I am happier that I found my Company on this list. But I still have the issue of endurance. I am not saying women can't do this job but I have have a hard time doing it now. I couldn't imagine with the less muscles. Maybe go from Lawncare to cleaning houses?

Hi Kimberly Kilpatrick
Physically yes after 8 years on HRT I will admit the the upper body muscle mass has certainly deminished.  but then I never really had much to start with I am only 5'3" tall and weigh only 125 lbs so there wasn't all that much muscles there to start with. But that has not deterred me from swinging a snow shovel or shoveling dirt in the back quarter acre garden I had behind the apartment. I am still in good shape physically just I got some of the physical stuff my body has been reorganising to much more attractive areas of my body. Well except for when it comes to opening some containers like jars and such I go to Wing Walker to open them for me. By the way I love my jar opening mate. 

As for the mental part I have become more aware of whats going on around me, and being touched emotionally at deeper depths then I can ever recall having before. I mean it has been like all my senses have all been greatly stimulated and or sensitised to a much higher level of awareness then ever before. As for being nurturing towards children well as I mentioned before in one of these threads I have had 11 children pass under my roof through the years, a child lover? you wanna bet. And that is not counting all the children I changed diapers for when use to baby sit on the res for their mama's  on Bingo night The sixth sens works quite well for me on an instinctive or intuitive level.

But then I have been an empath since as far back as I can remember so it maybe that it is one enhancing the other, like combination of the hormones and empathic sensitivities. This Hobbit's main drive in mainly how I can best serve the less fortunate, except this time it will be with my own sister and brother Trans folks. I love who I am and wouldn't want it to be anything else then who I am.

Cindy   

Ariana. after 9 1/2 years on estrogen and almost 8 years postop, I find my 'brain' differences primarily a greater willingness to listen, a greater disposition toward helping others (why else would I spend 2 hours most everyday in Chat waiting for someone to ask for help?), and a greater willingness to ask for help.  I still enjoy the same hobbies, can still parallel park, have the same focus and the same analytic abilities. 

SO, IMHO, the changes are nuanced.  You aren't going to wake up one day and find yourself a stranger.

What changes in 2 months?  So far, I would guess tenderness in your breasts.  An ability and a propensity to tear up over movies and songs, etc.  And some peace of mind.

Robyn
PS.  I hope your interview went fine today.

Quote from: Robyn on February 29, 2008, 04:53:21 PM
Ariana. after 9 1/2 years on estrogen and almost 8 years postop, I find my 'brain' differences primarily a greater willingness to listen, a greater disposition toward helping others (why else would I spend 2 hours most everyday in Chat waiting for someone to ask for help?), and a greater willingness to ask for help.  I still enjoy the same hobbies, can still parallel park, have the same focus and the same analytic abilities. 

SO, IMHO, the changes are nuanced.  You aren't going to wake up one day and find yourself a stranger.

What changes in 2 months?  So far, I would guess tenderness in your breasts.  An ability and a propensity to tear up over movies and songs, etc.  And some peace of mind.

Robyn
PS.  I hope your interview went fine today.

Pfsh!

I still don't cry!!!  I'm hardcore like that!

Lady A, how very astute of you.

Since I've been on hormone therapy, not thinking of sex sex sex all the time has been a breath of fresh air I've never really known.  I've been able to refocus my relationships into closer friendships and enjoy the company of other people without those nasty thoughts in my head that all males end up with.

But really, other than that I'm the same, maybe a bit less agressive.  I wouldn't call that from the hormones, but simply from the realization I don't have to defend my machoness or whatever anymore.

Thanks everyone for the kind and encouraging words. I feel much better now about where I am at. Yes I am more emotional, calmer, but still like the same sports, hobbies that I did before. I definetly have very tender breast and they continue to grow. I guess that I am right where I am supposed to be at two months.

Thanks again to everyone for once again being here when I needed you. I love it here and you ladies have helped me so much.

Hugz,
Ariana

Hi Shanetastic, don't worry hunny, some day you will and I pray that it will be for a good reason when you do. Just allow yourself to feel, don't suppress it., let it flow when you feel it coming. It use to be very difficult for me to show emotion of any type before. I may have always been there for another, but I wouldn't allow myself to feel anything more then what was needed to do my job, after I transitioned and was on HRT for a time my entire character changed only because I let it be so, just let go. Just remember, it's a girls prerogative if they feel like crying.

Cindy

After about two weeks of being on HRT, I had gotten up early on a Sunday morning, as I usually do, and went to the supermarket to do my weekly grocery shopping. For some reason, when I arrived at the store, I felt better than I"ve felt in YEARS! Almost euphoric. The result of this, was that I went through the store buying everything in sight! By the time that I completed check-out, I was too short of cash and had to use my credit card to pay for all of the groceries. I wonder if this feeling of total happiness was the result of the HRT, or was I just in a rare mood that day? That feeling hasn't re-occurred.

QuoteThat feeling hasn't re-occurred.

Shewww. To the relief of your bank account, huh.   
When I first started HRT I was giddy and ridiculous for the first few months.  It was quite fun though!  I think that the people I worked with thought I was insane. 

Audrey