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Finding your true name

Started by Shambles, November 26, 2017, 04:44:34 PM

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aves

Heyo,

I found it really easy to find my name. I went from one 'A' name to another, so it was a simple switch. People still screw it up sometimes but I have only been using it for two months.

Avery was a name I thought about giving myself as a kid because I really hated my name. It's unisex and is helpful since I don't pass yet. Whatever you feel suits you is what you should use. But know that experimenting is important! Try out a few with some friends and get a good feel for them.

-aves
-aves
Sept 2017- First doctor's appointment; came out socially
Oct 2017- Came out to my extended family
Feb 2018- Endocrinologist appointment; let's hope this also means T!

English/Sociology student
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undautri

FtM here

I personally made a list of names and picked one after a long time of reflection.

Shorten the list as much as possible, ask the people in your life how they feel about it, say it to yourself in your head. Narrate your life with a different name every so often, that is also something I did.
"Jenny picked up the phone"
"Jamie Picked up the phone"
See what you feel most comfortable with

Ask the people of Susan's if you really can't choose between a few. They come out with some interesting thoughts. That's what I did, it really helped.

Good luck!
kindest regards possible,
Clay
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Rayna

I feel like I wimped out, but as a boy, I always hated Randy and tried to change to a more masculine name when I went to college (it didn't stick).  I thought Randy was too girly.  Well, now it seems like a perfectly good name to me!  Most females would spell it differently and I've never made up my mind about that.  For now, I'll stick with it.
Randy
If so, then why not?
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bobbisue

     As a child I always hated the name Bobby it seemed too feminine I needed an e-mail and a name to join Susans place so I went with bobbi and then thought it was not feminine enough so I went with bobbisue so when I change my name and gender it will be Roberta Susan this may be sooner than planned as my picture is in my hometown paper

     bobbisue :)




















[ gotta be me everyone else is taken ]
started HRT june 16 2017              
Out to all my family Oct 21 2017 no rejections
Fulltime Dec 9 2017 ahead of schedule
First pass Dec 11 2017
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steph2.0

Like BobbiSue and Randy, I made people stop calling me "Stevie" when I was younger. It was too feminine, and I had to hide that. And now it's just a little too close to "Steve," which I went by most of my life (full name "Stephen"). So instead of going back to Stevie, I'm using Steph, short for Stephanie.

I suppose I wouldn't object if someone wanted to call me Stevie now, especially with the connection to the indisputably feminine Stevie Nicks, but it's not first choice. A dear friend has taken to calling me "Stephie," which is a little silly sounding, but as a term of endearment it gives me warm fuzzies.

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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jessica95

I would say choose a name, you are comfortable with and you like sounding like a good name. For me Jessica was the name i like to Call myself now. I like the name alot.
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Shambles

Im going to try out a name for awhile then compare it agaist a few over time. Thanks everyone
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020
Oct 18 - Fully out at one job, part out at another
Nov 18 - Out to close family
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rmaddy

Quote from: Shambles on November 26, 2017, 04:44:34 PM
Im curious how long it took for you to come up with an alternative name that you felt was right?

Ive got a list now of around 20 girls names that i feel are ok, 3 or 4 more so than the others but im drawn to unisex names atm more specifically Jamie. I guess its reflective of where im at in my identity atm and its close to my male name. It denotes a change that i now dont identify asmy given name but still reflects that im confused about me. Found it easier to name my children that myself.

If you ended up taking the route of mtf could you be taken seriously with a unisex name? Does that show your not committed?

It's an odd thing to name oneself.  Finding your true name may be difficult if you put too much emphasis on "true".  Recalling your kids, you didn't give them a name that matched their souls.  You didn't even know them at the time.  You picked something that sounded nice so you would have something to call them as they slept, fed and pooped for several months.  Eventually their names seemed to fit.  Thus will it also be with you.

As for an androgynous name, think about how many name started masculine and ended up feminine:  Ashley, Lindsay, Leslie, Gene, Jo(e), Morgan, Tristan, Cary, Allison, Madison, Dakota, Mackenzie, just to name a few.  There is a grand conspiracy to keep all men Al, Tom, Bob and Mike.  Most anything can work for a woman, but perhaps you want something that drives your femininity rather than feeds off of it?

I took an androgynous name and it served me well, although I took the feminine spelling from the beginning.  Still, on the phone particularly, I could say, "This is Renae" and no one would hesitate regardless of what they thought of my voice (which I am only now developing).  That can be nice, but if you go that route, you're going to have to accept a lot of "sirs" too.  Had I chosen something overtly feminine at first, those same phone calls would all have been awkward, but the pronouns might have fallen into place more quickly.  Perhaps.

Don't be in too big of a hurry to name yourself.  You'll always end up thinking of a perfect name later, which I suppose is just human nature.  Valerie is the one I wish I had given further consideration, if only because it sounds a little better with my last name and still is somewhat androgynous, though mostly feminine.

As for your commitment, if you decide to stand before a judge and change your name legally, I'd say you're committed enough, regardless of what name you pick.
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Sarah_P

I'd been using Sarah as a name for video game characters for years, and never knew why. When I finally decided to transition, it just felt right to use it. It's not the same initial (shifted from R to S), but I couldn't find any R names that felt right.
I did stew over a new middle name for about 5 months now. I had originally decided on Anne, but then I realized that was one of my sister's middle names. After coming up with around 15 names or so, I finally found the middle name I want - Dawn. That will actually keep my current middle initial, too.
--Sarah P

There's a world out there, just waiting
If you only let go what's inside
Live every moment, give it your all, enjoy the ride
- Stan Bush, The Journey



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Tamika Olivia

I took like... maybe 20 minutes to come up with Tamika. I used the name Tamika in a few games after I heard it on Welcome to Nightvale, and when the gender question started raising itself to me, I used it because it was there, and phonetically related  to my birth name, and I needed something for this forum. When I got serious about transitioning, I kept it, because at that point it felt like my name. Still does!

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

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krobinson103

Kelly is used for both males and females. Its ny name. Nothing changes. :)
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
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