I was at a christmas dinner party at work yesterday. My aching shoulder makes it impossible to wear a binder. Dysphoria was bad. I dressed up in a knitted hoodie and jeans. No way I could dress up in a shirt and jeans with my bazookas. It just looks stupid. I kept little distance to people but they came up and talked to me.

I left after 2 hours. It was enough of tormenting myself. Nothing wrong with the company, the people around me, I'm the one who is wrong. All wrong. I'm not completely out at work. But I feel the itch to come out.

I will do an MR on my shoulder on tuesday. Maybe I'll get to know how bad the injury is. I do train a bit to keep my shoulder from freezing. But it still hurts a lot. Been a month today. Annoying. Mostly because I can't wear my binder. But also because I can not work.


Tony

Quote from: MeTony on December 02, 2017, 09:20:18 AM
I was at a christmas dinner party at work yesterday. My aching shoulder makes it impossible to wear a binder. Dysphoria was bad. I dressed up in a knitted hoodie and jeans. No way I could dress up in a shirt and jeans with my bazookas. It just looks stupid. I kept little distance to people but they came up and talked to me.

I left after 2 hours. It was enough of tormenting myself. Nothing wrong with the company, the people around me, I'm the one who is wrong. All wrong. I'm not completely out at work. But I feel the itch to come out.

I will do an MR on my shoulder on tuesday. Maybe I'll get to know how bad the injury is. I do train a bit to keep my shoulder from freezing. But it still hurts a lot. Been a month today. Annoying. Mostly because I can't wear my binder. But also because I can not work.


Tony

Tony,  sorry about your shoulder and the resulting impact on your presentation,  my last two previous Xmas work dinners were super dysphoric,  you have my sympathies.
I hope they figure out your shoulder issue and get it fixed soon. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Works do will be OK for me as we are a small branch but have Hot Rod club Christmas dinner on Tuesday in the pub we meet at every first Tuesday of the month. Other 1/2s will be there and as I will be Davina and not met or seen some since last year I hope it goes OK . Of course the partners are all female.
Hope your shoulder gets better soon , know what its like as put a muscle out in my neck/shoulder 43 years ago and it comes back to haunt me and its permanently crunchy 

Good luck Davina. I wish you a nice evening!

Quote from: MeTony on December 02, 2017, 09:20:18 AM
I was at a christmas dinner party at work yesterday. My aching shoulder makes it impossible to wear a binder. Dysphoria was bad. I dressed up in a knitted hoodie and jeans. No way I could dress up in a shirt and jeans with my bazookas. It just looks stupid. I kept little distance to people but they came up and talked to me.

I left after 2 hours. It was enough of tormenting myself. Nothing wrong with the company, the people around me, I'm the one who is wrong. All wrong. I'm not completely out at work. But I feel the itch to come out.

I will do an MR on my shoulder on tuesday. Maybe I'll get to know how bad the injury is. I do train a bit to keep my shoulder from freezing. But it still hurts a lot. Been a month today. Annoying. Mostly because I can't wear my binder. But also because I can not work.


Tony

I used to have it that way, untill i decided to open up my gender to the world hmm, then it all was good.You could visit a therapist? But i think showing Your gender is the best way.

Tony,
Take care of how physical pain can sap you. It can be quite insidious, you think it is 'just pain and awkward' but it can get into your head. That is one reason that cancer patients have support staff, not only to deal with the cancer crap but also how to cope with temporary disability and pain without it ruling you.

What I'm trying to say is don't hesitate to get help from psychs, physios or your medics in how to cope with disability like not waring your binder. Sorry of this is dysphoric but I couldn't get a bra on when my shoulders were bad but physios went through alternative methods to get one on until one worked for me. They may be able to help you with your binder. There are caring and good people out there who try to help.

Take care, thinking of you

So sorry, I can fully understand what you feel. Last time I had to go out in male outfit, I basically run home and changed the second I could get out. I hope you feel better soon!

I know it is not a binder but I recently found a sports bra which can be fully adjusted using velcro (the band and the straps) you can put it on using a very loose setting and then tighten down everything. From the video it looks like it could be done with one hand (still waiting for them to be delivered)

I am wondering if there is something similar for a binder where you have some kind of tightening mechanism which could be adjusted with one hand.

I see a physiotherapist to help my shoulder problem. I have a lot of things to practice at home to make it better. But it takes time. A long time. I'm losing hope.

I know there are different kinds of binders, one that you can strap around your torso but it is not safe. I had it years ago. It hurt my ribs. I have two safe binders. But i need to crawl into them and the shoulder does not like crawling.

I'm on the waiting list for gender therapy. It takes time in Sweden. Few therapists and many people wanting help. There are three places in Sweden that help transgender people. Three!

I've heared there is about 7-9 months wait to see the therapist. I had my letter sent in October. So in the middle of the summer maybe.


Tony