I work with customers who are strangers all day and I've had to work on my persona. I had a habit of talking in an overly feminine manner to create this hard shell and boundary between myself and the customer. "Just being myself" doesn't necessarily work in this environment so I've had to create a new, male persona to interact with customers. I smile and lot and I'm friendly. But I still struggle with voice pitch because it's natural to elevate your pitch when you're trying to placate somebody. The thing is, that persona was never really "me" and I don't act/talk like that at all when I'm relaxing off the job.
I got punished a lot for having too masculine a communication style (even by people who supposedly knew my identity). I guess I came from an environment where just being male was not okay. I'm not blaming feminism here--it's much more complex than that--but I do believe that maleness itself should not be made suspect.
I feel like I'm a fairly androgynous person who happens to be male. I sometimes dress more butch than I feel like because I'm afraid of what other people will think. I feel like if I can get my body to look more masculine then I can be a bit freer with clothing choices.
