I'm telling your super-ego you said that.  >

super-egos don't like to lose

Let me just say one thing:  In the past, I thought I could only be attracted to cisgendered men; of course, that was proven to be false.  These previous posts speak for themselves:

Quote from: Tinkerbell on August 18, 2006, 11:06:46 PM
I wish I coud say "yes" but I would be lying if I did.  I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but this is how I am and how I feel.  I've thought a lot about this, but my answer remains the same...I would never date a FTM, that's just me, only me, and not a Tinkerbell's law or anything of that sort. 

tinkerbell

And then the evolution begins....

Quote from: Tink on April 06, 2007, 10:33:03 PM
Nevertheless, dating, IMO, does not mean having sex or sleeping with whomever you are going out.  So having said that, sure, I'd date a FTM for the reasons I have stated; however, I am not sure whether I could have anything sexual with that person.  Why?  not because of his genitals, but mainly because I wouldn't know how to please him sexually.  That's the most honest response I can give, I think.  I hope I haven't offended anyone and if I have, I apologize.

tink

and my feelings transform even more....

Quote from: Tink on May 16, 2007, 08:20:23 PM
Hmmmmm another interesting thread indeed.  Well, I am only attracted to men, and I am attracted to the appearance of the male form, body, secondary sex characteristics (i.e, voice, facial hair, muscle tone, demeanor, posture), etc.  I have only been intimate with biological men, so their genitalia and characteristics (listed above) have always gone together.  However, I must say that, in my case, genitals are not important either.  On another thread, I said that I can easily be attracted to female to male transsexuals; it is their masculine appearance (chemically altered by testosterone) that I am attracted to, not their genitalia.  As far as intimacy is concerned, well I think that love making does find its ways, especially if a couple has plenty of imagination, so personally, I don't consider it a problem either.    >

tink

Now, one is attracted to what one is attracted to, and IMO nothing can change sexual orientation.  I consider sexual orientation to be innate and inalterable.  I'm attracted to men (biological or FTM's), BUT (there's always a but, isn't there?),  I have my exceptions as well; I could never be with a FTM who looked like a female since I am not attracted to the female form in the least.  In order for me to be attracted to a FTM, this person must:

Quote from: Tink on February 27, 2008, 09:50:40 PM
I feel I need to add this though.  Genitals are not important to me but if the person I am with is a FTM, he must pass as a male 100% (meaning that he needs to be on testosterone, have a male chest + male secondary sexual characteristics as voice, hair, etc....the bottom part is NOT an issue for me.

 


tink

This has nothing to do with bigotry or prejudiced views but with my sexual orientation (heterosexual).  It simply is and I can't change what I'm attracted to.


tink


P.S.  time for dinner now! 

Quote from: Rebis on March 01, 2008, 09:15:18 PM
how about if a rich androgyne turned up to woo you?

then you wouldn't need money.

If a rich androgyne who lives in Canada shows up, and would marry both my partner and I, that could work 

Z

Perhaps the partner in my case would either reveal what shape my puzzle piece is, or at least make it a certain shape. I don't even know what I want anymore, and I suspect I'd fall for anything that hit the right places in me. I mean...

This is why I could be classified as, "Possibly Bi" cause I have no clue now. I don't think I'd mind being with an FtM if they were the right person. I honestly don't know about MtF, but usually when I feel attracted to something like that, its me wishing to be them (some are outright beautiful, and I envy them even though they aren't done transitioning yet. Not that the incomplete transition isn't beautiful, I'm just going from a slightly practical standpoint if one were to engage in something besides backdoor sexual activity) versus wanting to be with them.

There's just too many complexes in me at this point.

Part of me is really connecting with someone I know who is either not identifying with a gender, or fully thinks they are male. Although... They did once tell me they had no gender after a laugh, so who knows. Maybe that was some kind of a defeated statement or one of frustration... Mixed with In Vino Veritas. Frustration perhaps at knowing what the path of transitioning really had along the way.

Either way I don't care, and unfortunately I can't go out with them. Why you may ask? Well first... I don't know if its love I feel. I suspect it is, cause I'll miss them when they're in college, and instantly feel better about my situation when they return. I feel like we connect on a lot of levels, and she's like the optimist in it all, so its always fun or interesting.

I mean... Even if It were love, "she" was recently in a relationship which tore apart horribly, and I wouldn't want to do that to the guy she was going out with. Nor to her. Neither of us are completely stable people from what I gather, and unless we can both lean on each other perfectly, I have no faith in it. And like I mention, I'm friends with the guy she went out with. She doesn't know completely about how transgendered I am, and I have no idea what they're even comfortable with. Not to mention how uncomfortable I feel sexually a lot of the time.

But... Maybe if the situation were different by a little, I'd try. I could definitely imagine it. I mean... This coming from someone who has hated love before, and disconnected from it cause of past heartbreak. It would definitely be something unconventional enough. I mean... What matters to me besides physical attraction, is DEFINITELY that wavelength thats shared somewhat, and being a best friend who's there.

But I don't really care either way. I'm here to be a really good friend. Maybe like a younger sibling (wtf... They're OLDER THAN ME!). As long as I can communicate at least on that same channel with something else besides myself, It keeps me sane and hopeful. *sigh... Its a pity I didn't tell anyone else even slightly besides her and a couple others about the TIP of my issues. I wouldn't always feel like that lonely dog sitting on the hick porch waiting for the master to get back from the real world, to bring news to this suburban wasteland with no one to talk to.


Answer: I would, I think.

Quote from: Tink on March 01, 2008, 09:35:00 PM
Let me just say one thing:  In the past, I thought I could only be attracted to cisgendered men; of course, that was proven to be false.  ...

[Content was removed in order to shorten this response] - rebis

This has nothing to do with bigotry or prejudiced views but with my sexual orientation (heterosexual).  It simply is and I can't change what I'm attracted to.


tink


P.S.  time for dinner now! 

Right.  I remember when you said those first statements, then I was surprised to see you change.  I agree.  It has nothing to do with bigotry, just sexual orientation.

By the way, I'm happy at how it turned out for you.   


Rebis

Dated both and played, (FtF. FtM) several times.  Like anything else, some of it was good, other parts boring.

No I could never date a TG person.  I've got more than enough with my gender issues.

You can be attracted to someone for various reasons no matter what their sexual orientation or gender....

Quote from: Kiera on March 02, 2008, 08:42:48 AM
You do not like them.
So where does one find
these people called TG?  

Some are red. And some are blue.
Some are old. And some are new.
Some are sad. And some are glad.
And some are very, very bad.

They may live near our house.
They will grow and grow.
Will our mother like them?
We don't know.

And now good night.
It is time to sleep.
So we will sleep
with our black sheep.

Today is gone. Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one.
Every day, from here to there,
TGs are everywhere

Quote from: Nero on March 02, 2008, 10:58:03 AM
And that's why I'm in the position I'm in now. Ruined and broken with not a friend alive.

That was then.  This is now.   You have friends, you just can't see or touch us.  Maybe things will change for you where you are.  Life is anything but static.



Love,


Rebis

To me it is purely an individual thing. In general I think most people mid transition shouldn't be dating ANYBODY - it is simply too much to load on another person, and anyway, you are spending so much time and energylearning about and learning to love yourself that I think it's a tall order to be able to keep up your end of a relationship on top of that. So att the moment I am on principle not dating anybody because I simply cannot give as much as I would end up taking, but in future, who knows? At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what vessel the spirit comes in, as long as the spirit is a match to mine.

Perhaps, but not an MtF.  I am just not attracted to women,  tried that in high school.  Yea ACKWARD.  I can't make a blanket statement about FtMs.  If I was attracted to them (the individual) then yeah I wouldn't have a problem with it.  Its more about their personality than anything.

Audrey

I wouldn't date anybody.  The main reason being that I'm asexual.

Quote from: Rebis on March 01, 2008, 09:03:29 PM

Quote from: Lisbeth on March 01, 2008, 08:48:22 PM
Deary, both of my partners are TS, and I love them just the way they are.  And I will continue to love them after we have all had GRS.

You're not insinuating that you're all going to be joined at the hip, are you?   

Joined at the hip?  Heck no.  We each need our own space.  But we will sandwich together sometimes.

What matters to me is not the gender but the individual person, if the right feeling just clicks between us, that's all I care about. Cis- or trans-, I make no distinction. Either is fine.

Being bisexual, I would be happy with either a man or a woman TS. With the emphasis on "man" and "woman." I'm probably not "pansexual" and the idea of dating androgynes doesn't exactly grab me. But then one never knows until something happens...

I have been sort-of-dating an FTM gentleman for a year and a half. Our first date was the evening of the first day we met, we immediately liked each other and decided to go out together right away. But we're just friends. I'm married and am not available for real dating. So I joined him for practice dating. He wanted to practice gentlemanly behavior to woo the ladies. He saw me as a real lady so I let him do all the old-fashioned stuff with me: holding doors, helping me off with my coat, and the works. He never let me open the car door by myself. If I forgot and opened it before he could get there, he was despondent. Such a sweetie. I was charmed by his sincerity and earnest desire to be chivalrous. He was such a gentleman, even though he crushed on me at first sight, he never pulled any hanky panky. Our dates were all G-rated.

I liked him so much, about a year after we met, I started to feel a little sweet on him myself. But by then his attitude had changed. He called attention to the difference in our ages (I'm about 15 years older though I don't look it), and said he could never be paired with a woman so much older than him. I was crestfallen, though we're still friends and still go out. I've always been there for him when other women didn't work out for him. He was so ga-ga for me at first, I was sorry to drop in his estimation of hotness. But this happened after he'd been shooting T for months, and maybe that was why he developed more conventional male attitudes, like wanting to date younger chicks. It was a good thing we've been just good friends all along, so we didn't need to break up. Because we were never a real item to begin with. Know what I mean?

Quote from: Hypatia on March 02, 2008, 05:56:11 PM
What matters to me is not the gender but the individual person, if the right feeling just clicks between us, that's all I care about. Cis- or trans-, I make no distinction. Either is fine.

Being bisexual, I would be happy with either a man or a woman TS. With the emphasis on "man" and "woman." I'm probably not "pansexual" and the idea of dating androgynes doesn't exactly grab me. But then one never knows until something happens...

I have been sort-of-dating an FTM gentleman for a year and a half. Our first date was the evening of the first day we met, we immediately liked each other and decided to go out together right away. But we're just friends. I'm married and am not available for real dating. So I joined him for practice dating. He wanted to practice gentlemanly behavior to woo the ladies. He saw me as a real lady so I let him do all the old-fashioned stuff with me: holding doors, helping me off with my coat, and the works. He never let me open the car door by myself. If I forgot and opened it before he could get there, he was despondent. Such a sweetie. I was charmed by his sincerity and earnest desire to be chivalrous. He was such a gentleman, even though he crushed on me at first sight, he never pulled any hanky panky. Our dates were all G-rated.

I liked him so much, about a year after we met, I started to feel a little sweet on him myself. But by then his attitude had changed. He called attention to the difference in our ages (I'm about 15 years older though I don't look it), and said he could never be paired with a woman so much older than him. I was crestfallen, though we're still friends and still go out. I've always been there for him when other women didn't work out for him. He was so ga-ga for me at first, I was sorry to drop in his estimation of hotness. But this happened after he'd been shooting T for months, and maybe that was why he developed more conventional male attitudes, like wanting to date younger chicks. It was a good thing we've been just good friends all along, so we didn't need to break up. Because we were never a real item to begin with. Know what I mean?

Hmm Well, I'm into older women as well as younger women. More mature women know who they are and what they want, and that's sexy. I may look at a cute young schoolgirl, but for a relationship I want a WOMAN.

Nero-- how you doin? 

Quote from: Rebis on March 01, 2008, 09:53:36 PM
Right.  I remember when you said those first statements, then I was surprised to see you change.  I agree.  It has nothing to do with bigotry, just sexual orientation.

Rebis

People evolve   But I don't think I have "changed".  I've always been attracted to men, and the relationship I am in now is no different from the previous ones I've had.  I guess that the only thing I needed to understand was that men are men, and that a penis doesn't make anyone a man.

Quote from: Rebis on March 01, 2008, 09:53:36 PM

By the way, I'm happy at how it turned out for you.   

Thank you very much Becka  (I hope you don't mind that I call you Becka, for that is how I used to call you before you changed your screen name).  I've always said that love is like the rain, it happens unexpectedly, without warning.  When you meet the right person, nothing else matters.  Love conquers everything (they say), and I believe it's true....the rest are just mere details...

tink

Have I or would I date a TS or Transgender person?
Yes, of course I would.
I most certainly would.
Sara

I would be open to dating an FtM.  Everyone should have the chance to find someone to love.