Yeah,  ! I'm genuinely curious! What does it feel like to be a woman?

Honestly - I have no idea!

I'm sure all transgender people have been there sometime: wondering if I'm really trans or trans enough or really a woman/man and what makes me a man/woman... etc. So, I'm pretty sure everyone has at least at some point contemplated this...

So, I'm asking you girls,  ! What does it feel like? I know that every human being's core essence is most likely just 'a person' with one's own unique personality. But besides that, what does it feel like to be a woman/girl? Can you give me examples? In what way do you feel different to guys or...? Is it just a strong feeling/knowing that you are a woman? Do you combine with that also your gender expression & likes etc. (clothes, the way you want to look)?

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I can only describe myself as contrast  : I know that I feel 100% I'm a guy. But how does it show? I only compare myself to guys on TV etc., never to women. I only like male clothes & accessories. I think I have a crude, male sense of humor. I've always wanted to protect the women around me. I feel like I wanna be able to pick my SO up. (But I hate the idea of someone picking up me.) Though I like to think of myself as emotionally intelligent, I sometimes feel at loss when understanding women. Can't give any specific examples - but I've many times interpreted something wrong. Similarly, like when watching TV, I immediately think like the guys there of some issue. Like... me & my SO have completely different thinking patterns!

And when it comes to this trans thing, I sometimes can't but wonder why in the hell's name would someone want to appear soft, grow breasts, have wide hips etc...  ! Though those are exactly the things I appreciate in women! I also don't feel any desire whatsoever to wear women's clothes. I can appreciate them as clothes - but if I imagine myself wearing them, I immediately have this mental image of a guy in dress. Same goes for underwear... Considering I'm pre-T I still automatically see in my mind a man in nickers! I can be a douchebag sometimes  & I've many times said something that offended women or something they thought to be incredibly crude & thoughtless - though I thought of it as harmless funny joke  !

I also feel I have a very masculine energy inside me, though I'm not that masculine in appearance. I also have a tendency to be quick to anger & bang some doors........ I also feel like I have a dick & sex is my life! I've always jerked off in male style..... I mean fast & furious. (I'm sure you all wanted to hear that  ! Here I go again... Did I already offend somebody?) I've also always wanted to pee standing up & probably would be definitely the urinal type. And I like my junk being groped.

That's the best I can figure out to decribe what being a man feels like.

Oh, and I've always wanted to appear bigger in my upper body than the lower part. I've also always felt this incredible connection when around other guys.

Well, do I sound like a man,  ? That's the best I could do while trying to leave aside all kinds of hobbies, interests etc. as they have really nothing to do with one's gender identity.

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But, please tell me - what does being a woman feel like in contrast?

Good question. I can tell you as man before my T started getting a bit sad with age I was very driven, always needed to do something, had limited patience, and had difficulty expressing emotions or being empathetic to people. I was also socially awkward and really didn't care about the reactions of others to me. I couldn't care less what clothes I wore as long as they were clean.

As me now? With E and anti androgens  I'm more patient, more prone to feel emotions, empathize with people more, and for the first time ever actively seek out the company of others and enjoy it. My need for serious hobbies has decreased, and I feel generally.... more relaxed. In addition it takes much longer to find something to wear. Not sure what that makes me, but its fine being me.

I don't know how to answer or in what order to place everything.

So many people think that biology is what makes one male or female. I have had to accept that as inaccurate and maybe everyone will one day but I won't hold my breath until that happens. If we move past biology what is there?

From what I have seen we all, really everyone, pick out traits of other people that we like and mimic them. Motives may very but that is what we do. I say motives at this point because it is very possible to mimic traits that we think is the way we should be not necessarily the way we want to be. Part of what makes us women then is the people and traits that we want to copy and be like. We want people to see us and see the people we want to be, all of us and I don't think that it is only gender related. I don't remember my early childhood much but I have been told more times than I can count that I wasn't behaving like a boy should. The first person that I can consciously remember wanting to be like was the girl next door when we moved to West Virginia when I was 12. She was my best friend and there was an ease of understanding one another that I had never had with a boy. At that age though we are more than capable of understanding what is acceptable and being self conscious of being different. Want to be as opposed to should be. That is not everything of course but it is a start AND that is not a what, it is a why.

What does it feel like to be a girl? I don't think that I can say that I have ever felt like a guy but like you I can maybe compare women/men to myself. One memory I have of my childhood was when my family separated me from my girl cousins and forced me to only be with the boys. I don't remember why or what led up to it but I do remember the first time I had to play with my brother and my male cousins. If Emma and Crystal were not around I would just play by myself up to that point. When my grandmother told me to go out and play with the boys I was baffled, what would I do with them? It got easier a little over time but I got picked on a lot until I learned to fight back. Which was another of my few memories. From the age of 7 to 9 my family had an agenda that from all I could tell the purpose was "make it male or kill it". My uncles, brother and cousins were allowed to pound on me and call me names until I fought back. They would wrestle with each other all the time and I never understood why but me they were allowed to hit and call names. Meh, I go on.

The point is I have never understood male behavior. I got good at copying it but to this day I still don't understand it. Why throw stones at trees, catch frogs or see how high you can climb up the tree you were just trying to kill before you fall out and break your arm when you can play cat's cradle, Miss Mary Mack, dress up or just have tea?

Very simplistic, I know, the difference never changes though, just evolves. My best friend when I was 12 and I would talk for hours making cookies, singing and dancing or braiding her yorkie's hair while my older brother and her younger brother would leave the shed with a saw and hammer, disappear into the woods for two weeks and come back bragging about how awesome their fort is. Today when I go to my friends house we talk, cook, have tea or coffee, go over colors for her living room and the furniture she will put in it, oh did I mention talk? Meanwhile my boyfriend and her husband have sat down to watch a game, went out to the garage to work on a dune buggy of some sort that after a year still doesn't go where you turn the steeringwheel or have thrown polls into the back of the truck and gone fishing.

At best we roll our eyes at each other when you guys talk vile. Usually it's more like 'Oh my god! Stop!'
We do talk about sex but it is not the same as men do. Um, more quality and less crude maybe?
Erg! Off track again!

Being a woman feels like...
A circle oooo! Or spiral! that goes around the men, children, parents in our lives(usually men) and they are the falcon plunging towards their goals. Er... not quite right.

Okay
I was recently standing in a hallway with 4 police officers, all big, easily over 6 foot and bulky. Pretty amazing feeling actually but I will not go there at this time. They were all bravado and strength which is much more important for this discussion than size, size doesn't matter. 😉 I was soft and quiet and laughed at the right places and everything was exactly as we all knew it should be. It fit. Before I left the building one cought up with me and said sorry, they were best friends and tend to be abrasive towards each other. I reassured him several times that everything was fine. Two days later when I went back another saw me and also apologized if it seemed like they were being rough, they were just good friends playing around. So I had to get him to believe me when I told him that it was okay. They weren't being crude or rude just being guys.

My girlfriends and I have so much fun together. I love my boyfriend who gets tired of me talking but adores me and does anything for me. I like being soft and dressing pretty, even if it is jeans and a cami. I love having a hard man next to me or sandpapering my face when he kisses me.

What does it feel like being a woman? I don't know but if fits me perfectly.

What it feels to me will be different than someone else. I think generally I'm not too hung up on gender labels anyway. I was told by others that I'm a girl. It really confused me and angered me for a while. How come I look like a boy and I'm being told I'm a girl? I avoided makeup and feminine clothes until about 2 or 3 years ago. It was automatically a sense of relief that I never felt. Short lived but still worthwhile at the time.

Being female is something I'm learning because I denied myself out of shame and well, denial. I think our energy comes through strongly to others and that will "out" us like it did for me. I don't dwell my mannerisms, speech, the way I walk or act. Someone once commented that even my "handshake" was delicate for a guy.

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No doubt about it, Wolf, you're a man! 

What does it feel like to be a woman?  How can you describe a feeling?  It's like describing a colour: it can't be done.  It doesn't help that I was raised in guy mode.  I was taught not to register feelings, and for 60 years, my survival depended on being that way.  I guess I was damned good at it.  So it is going to take me a few years to decompress from that and maybe start to become aware of them.  For now, the best I can do is to be open to feelings, to let them guide me even if I cannot be consciously aware of them.

For me, what I like the best is being accepted into female society.  I like it that women acknowledge each other.  Making eye contact.  Passing a stranger in the parking lot, and we smile at each other.  It's still a little weird for me that women talk to each other in the washroom, but I'm getting used to it, and I like it.  Being social and making connections is a better way to be.

I like being able to wear bright colours and flowy fabrics.  When I look good, I feel good.  I contrast this to the overwhelming sense of grayness that I associate with being male.  Buying women's clothes: "Wow, isn't this a gorgeous shade of purple?"  Buying men's clothes: "Which shade of gray would you like?"

I like being able to feel emotions.  I always used to cry at movies, but I no longer have to pretend that I don't.  I regularly cry when I read news stories and some of the posts here.  It feels good because it is real. 

And I feel joy!  I had never known joy, ever.  Can you imagine living for 60 years without having felt joy?  I remember when I was new on Susan's and searching, and someone told me to "follow the joy".  I was going "Huh??  What's that?"  Now I know it, and it is wonderful.  I feel it most days.  Who'd have thunk it?

So, there are feelings in all of that.  What exactly they are, I can't always say.  But the contrast between what I felt as a guy and what I feel now is huge!

Quote from: FinallyMichelle on December 15, 2017, 03:54:40 AM
At best we roll our eyes at each other when you guys talk vile. Usually it's more like 'Oh my god! Stop!'

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 15, 2017, 07:00:38 AM
No doubt about it, Wolf, you're a man! 

Now you have made my day  !!!

Did I already tell that I can't comprehend how someone can walk in high heels?!

I'm following the joy too  !

The first time I heard about a trans guy I couldn't understand why would a genetical woman want to be a guy. For me it's like the most boring and horrible experience. Clothes for "macho" guys are boring, and the cool stuff isn't considered manly, you can't wear makeup, play with your hair, take care of your appearance, be sensitive. That was the archetype of man that was imposed on me, and being a woman for me ment being able to do all of those without being seen as a ->-bleeped-<-, a weirdo.

I agree with Kathy. You are most definitely a guy Mr wolf. It kind of hard to describe what being female is like because I've never been male. For the most part I find male behavior baffling and I can't understand it. There are just so many differences I have noticed living with guys. One big difference is that I have a need for things to be clean and organized. My dad and brother are slobs. Tristan spends weekends here and he's kind of a slob too. Guys don't seem to have a long attention span where as I do. I love shopping but most guys don't.  My brother totally HATES shopping. I almost have to pull a gun on him before he will go shopping with me. Tristan of course goes with me but from the long sighs he starts doing after about 20 minutes it's obvious he doesn't want to be there.

Guys seem to be aware of only the basic colors. If I say aubergine or lilac I get a blank look. I will never understand how guys can be so sports crazy. I hate sports. I think reading a phone book would be more interesting. I would totally NEVER fart or burp around other people. My dad and brother will just slap one out. My brother seems to like making them as loud as possible. Same with burps. When Tristan and I first started dating he wouldn't fart around me. Yeah, that didn't last. I'm not going to say I don't fart because everyone does. But mine are silent. I can slip one out silently. The times when I can't help but do a loud one (usually from being tickled) I get totally embarrassed where as my brother and Tristan find it hilarious. 

And guys just do stupid things. Things I would never even consider doing. A couple of months ago Tyler dislocated his shoulder car surfing. When I asked him why he did something so totally stupid he said because his friends dared him to. I told him I was afraid to leave him at home by himself because if he was dumb enough to do that I was afraid he might stick a fork in the electric outlets or get distracted by the shower head while taking a shower and drown himself staring up at it. And there are other dumb guy things. Like when my brother and his friends took turns wearing a dog shock collar and barking or spraying my pepper spray in their mouth. Stuff like this makes me wonder how guys have survived as a species.

Being female for me is pretty much wanting to  do the opposite of most things guys like doing. I will never understand the majority of male behavior. But I suppose most guys find female behavior just as baffling.

Mentally, I am at peace with the world.

Physically, I only changed 3% of my body. The other 97% is the same. I may look different, but I am mainly really much the same person.

I'm not sure that cis women or trans women know how it feels to be a woman.  I think that we just know how we feel and presume that similar people feel the same way.

So how do we know that we are women? 

I think that it's partly herd instinct.  When the herd or social group is divided into males and females, we gravitate towards the group that we identify with.  With animals it may be triggered by scent or pheromones.  With humans it is probably more cerebral but it might be interesting to study how scent or pheromones affect how cis and trans people identify gender.

We also like certain things.  We discover that there are other people who like the same things, and that those people tend to be of a particular gender.  Ipso facto, we are of the same gender.

I really don't know how to answer the question. I mean either you are or you not and if so it just feels normal.?.?

I mean I have no desire for SRS and I have small boobs but even if I didn't have any boobs at all it would kill me if my nipples weren't sensitive enough. But with clothing, body shapes and genitalia aside, how do you feel? Men an women used to be naked and boobs were no big deal even in some cultures that have never seen high heels before. On a deeper psychological level, your emotions will tell you more than anything. I mean I watch a sad movie, I cry. If someone in my family dies then I cry too. I get scared sometimes especially in storms. I feel so much for people that are hurting and everyone else does too but it actually hurts me. I get along better with women and can identify with them and even they me than I do men. I don't like hunting but will cook whatever meat my F comes home with as long as I don't have to kill it. Wathcing sports bores the hell out of me so when my BF watches a game I either go into the bedroom to watch a movie or read a book. Ugh, I guess I am just a stereotype though. But as for the sports thing though. I have been to two football games and that was because my BF at the time wanted to go.

On a lighter side though, High heels can be a pain in the butt. That takes a little balance and I prefer high wedges. I do like the high heels and even stilettos but that takes a little getting used to. You have to walk more on the ball of your feet instead of heel to toe. Flip flops they are not.

good and hard question

First of all as a trans I think I allways were a girl, so how can I tell you what a man to be.
Second: I think a lot of human attributes are gender neutral. Ok, there are things which are more common to one gender, but we can't say just women can be empathy. or just man can be technical genius.

Maybe the key is "Gender Dysphoria": when there is a persistent sense of mismatch between one's experienced gender and assigned gender. In english, when you just don't fit for you social role.
The interesting thing, that nowdays this role stereotipes are more and more vanishing, the boundaries are blurred. That's why I think today sometimes not so easy just descirebe somebody as a trans. The boy-girl status is not a box, rather a scale.

What does being a woman feel like?
I feel that I have more attributes that belong to the definition of womanhood than menhood. I want to be part of the womanhood, because I feel myself close to that "box".

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 14, 2017, 10:47:36 PM
Though I like to think of myself as emotionally intelligent, I sometimes feel at loss when understanding women. Can't give any specific examples - but I've many times interpreted something wrong. Similarly, like when watching TV, I immediately think like the guys there of some issue. Like... me & my SO have completely different thinking patterns!

Yes, men and women just think differently.  And it really starts to show in the teenage years.  I remember when I was a teenager, my male friends would say, 'you're not like us'.  And my female friends would say, 'you're not like the other guys'.  I wasn't especially effeminate at the time, and nobody made fun of me for being gay (because I wasn't), but even during those teenage years my peers just knew that my mind worked differently compared to other boys.  It's unfortunate that I didn't realize at the time that those were signs of my being a trans woman.

Even when raised as a man, and even before realizing that they're trans, a trans girl will not think like a man.  Their brains will reject that social conditioning in some way or another because it needs to express its true gender.  I'm sure the opposite is true for trans men - no matter how girly their parents may raise them, their male identity will show through in the way they think and interact with others.

And that's what being a woman feels like.  It's defined by the way we think and interact with others, even in the face of male social conditioning.

Good Question

It feels like me... the real me.. I feel free to live my life as an out going woman.

I am a real stereotype woman.. I am into makeup, shoes, clothes and shopping. I love grooming myself to look pretty and painting my nails. I love being held by my man and wearing sexy lingerie for him. I am submissive in the bedroom. I love to wearing dresses and high heel shoes (I glide in my heels) I even get broody and would love to be pregnant..

So how does it feel like to be a woman.. it feels happy.

but I still like to fish..

Quote from: Jenntrans on December 15, 2017, 01:43:33 PM
I really don't know how to answer the question. I mean either you are or you not and if so it just feels normal.?.?

Yes, normal. 

Beyond that, answer is different for every woman. 




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 Ya know Mr PW,

  If I could only figure that out I may realize it is just who I am and have been inside forever. Perhaps then I could accept that I really am one and stop fighting it.

Hugs,
  Laurie

How long is a piece of string?

Quote from: Viktor on December 16, 2017, 10:37:20 PM
How long is a piece of string?

Quote from: Laurie on December 16, 2017, 09:32:06 PM
Ya know Mr PW,

  If I could only figure that out I may realize it is just who I am and have been inside forever. Perhaps then I could accept that I really am one and stop fighting it.

You will! Go get that book,  !
- Your young beau  -

I have always wanted to be a woman. Wanting is not feeling like one though. The HRT allowed the gates to open so that my emotional self could be realized. This was both a pathway to shut down the T driven aspects that I used to deal with and also allowed my natural feminine self to come forth. This all set the table for dealing with life from a whole different perspective. Feeling like a woman has a great deal to do with interactions with people. When you are seen as a woman and treated  like a woman then you start to experience what being a woman is like. For example, what does it feel like to be a race car driver without having the experience of being in a car. Better yet, what is it like to be a rock star. You get up on stage and have people screaming for you or  groupies trying to get to you and you start  to get a feel of what is like. The longer I live it the more I feel it. I also think that being so involved in transition related stuff is a time where you tend to feel more trans. Living the status quo of an every day  female life means you experience womanhood and less 'transhood.' I really think the essence of feeling like a woman to me has to do with your relationship to vulnerability. Guys hate their own vulnerability. Being a woman means having an intimate relationship with vulnerability.  It is the biggest factor in me feeling like a woman to allow and accept being vulnerable. It is one of the nicest things but also one of the scariest things. Yes that is the essence of feeling like a woman.
Moni
Understand I am speaking for me and this doesn't fit everyone.