What did you gain by being transgender & transitioning? What kind of strength did you develop in yourself?

Do you feel you have some insight or deeper understanding of the world, yourself & others through this process/life experience?

What do you think you have to give to this world?

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I think I developed tremendous resilience against struggles & stress. I became so much stronger as a person. I feel I have a deeper understanding & compassion towards everyone on this planet. I feel like I now understand that everyone's situation is different and not to be judged. I feel like we all have made some life choices that suited our best interest at the time. They may seem weird choices at the moment - but at the time they were necessary.

I have an open mind towards my past, present & future. I feel you must never give up, coz you never know what's right behind the corner.

I've learned to forgive myself & others. I have made some interesting choices as well - but know that I've always tried to advance my life the best I could.

I've learned to take 100% responsibility of my life & my choices. I understand that I'm where I'm at right now due to my own choices, not because of others or how I was treated. I take full responsibility of that.

I've learned to let go of my anger & resentment when things haven't turned out the way they should have.

I've learned to respect myself. I've learned that  I deserve happiness too, as much as anyone else. I've learned to put myself first.

The most important lesson I've learned: Reaching out to people pays off. I no longer feel so alone in this world.

I want to let go of the past and concentrate on changing the present. I forgive myself.

I learned to be honest with myself.

I discovered that I am psychologically far stronger than I thought I was.

I found my path to peace and joy, a state that I can reach at last.

I revealed my inner extrovert, hidden behind a shield of protective introversion for decades.

I've become a better listener, more patient, more focused, more intent on really helping others.

There are people out there my age still trying to figure out who the hell they are and to get in touch with their real selves, but I've always been in touch with it... because I was forced to examine the nature of my internal conflicts and reality from a young age. Some people have never faced down who they really are. It's unpleasant sometimes to do that. There are certain things about who I really am that I have "difficulty" with to say the least, but provided you don't run and hide from it you can at least work with it and try to be a better person. This knowing personal flaws has made me more conscious of everything and what is healthy and unhealthy for my personality. It's probably why there's minimal drama in my life and why there are lots of people I know who can't seem to get their lives together and often fill theirs with unnecessary strife. I know exactly what is the right sort of environment I need to be in to be the best I can be, or to be the worst I can be. Knowing yourself, your limits and your strengths is an advantage in this world for sure. As an adult, practically nobody has ever been able to take me off guard or take advantage of me. I've managed to avoid to overcome any major problems in life so far.

A person I know recently got very drunk and decided he was going to see if he could find some sort of chink in my mental armor; he himself was convinced he was superior in just about every way to most people, especially men - a guy who likes to play with men's feelings, probably as some sort of revenge for his daddy issues. I thought it would be an interesting opportunity to see if he could actually get under my skin and find a weakness, because I rather liked him, aside from his love of playing mind games with people. He tried hard, and pulled all the tactics my mother used to do in trying to tear someone down, but unfortunately for him there doesn't seem to be anywhere to get any hooks in with me. There was nothing he could do to make me feel even remotely wretched. I figure, a lot of the hardship and emotional/physical pain I went through in early life was good training for the time when I'd have to face people trying to tear me down for choosing to pursue things like transition. And now there's literally nothing anyone could say or do that will be able to dent my sense of self or resolve. I'm surprised - I didn't start life as someone strong at all. I was weak and I really wanted to see the day I wouldn't be. The challenge now is tempering mental strength and ego - learning how not to be a tyrant in your castle. Because it's easy to fall into being one when you can close yourself off from weakness, especially when you become impatient with others' weaknesses too.       

Although being trans is only a part of my experience, it's taught patience; how to understand men and women better, and it's given me a wider perspective and scope of personal experience (and with that comes confidence). I don't take sides in gender battles - I will just point out the facts as I see them, and point out injustices where they seem to be, whoever is committing them. That is definitely a result of being the way I am and being able to see what is going on on both sides of the fence.

I'm not sure that I can say my life has meant that I can understand other people better on their level. I'm not really like most of them it seems - but I can see the bigger social picture easier because of it, I guess. I'll never feel like I'm one of the herd, feeling connected and relevant to society. But I don't think it really matters since it's not my deepest desire to belong to it. Actually my deepest desire has always been to be self-sufficient, to feel like my skin is my true home, and to be able to deal easily with whatever comes my way. (You can tell these are the aspirations of someone who started out weak - it's basically wanting to be impregnable from hurt or anxiety. Still, they're not bad/detrimental aspirations for the most part. They are good for people who are particularly sensitive, which I am, to learn a certain amount of control over your own sensitivity).

Like you say, resilience - the ability to regenerate and renew - comes from dealing first hand with a trans condition.

I also learned that not everything a person does or thinks is their own fault. There's a lot in people that comes from the body and not the mind or the will. New hormones in HRT made that very clear to me. They don't change who you are but there's plenty that comes from them that will change what you do and how you do it.   

Quote from: Michelle_P on December 16, 2017, 05:08:19 PM
I learned to be honest with myself.

I discovered that I am psychologically far stronger than I thought I was.

I found my path to peace and joy, a state that I can reach at last.

I revealed my inner extrovert, hidden behind a shield of protective introversion for decades.

I've become a better listener, more patient, more focused, more intent on really helping others.

^^ This!

I've also discovered, despite all the problems in the world and that we face for being our true selves, that I have a deep belief in the future of the Human race. That one day people will put aside their fear & differences and unite together for the greater good of all. Call me cheesy if you want, but I don't want to ever lose that belief.

I'm not fighting an unwinnable internal struggle. I'm more confident, I am happy to socialize with people (before I avoided that at all costs), I like the person I see in the mirror, and I enjoy every single moment of every single day. That is the greatest improvement. I used to be a glass half full person. Now the glass is always full.

I found motivation and purpose above all else.

I'm still learning to be gentle with myself and others. It hasn't changed me much, but I feel more in control of my life. Like I'm steering the direction I want for once. It's liberating.

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It's hard to really put into words how I feel about answering these questions, because I don't generally believe that any strength I have has come from me at all. But here goes.

I gained access to a group of people with more strength and courage than I ever thought possible. There are some terrible, awful people in this world. I'm pretty sure I've had dealings with most of them. People who delight in trying to knock you down and tell you how weak and pathetic you are. There are times when one's faith in humanity, and the light inside people begins to waver. What I gained was... the priviledge of being able to learn from people and be among people who staunchly refuse to give up. To be broken by life. Who see the light at the end of the tunnel and take step after step to get there. No matter the odds. No matter how many setbacks they have. They never give up.

I gained admiration for people who started their journey terrified, alone, unsure and hating themselves... but over time gained their strength and blossomed into who they were always meant to be. And along the way they were never too busy to offer a hand to those where they once were. Or even a smile, or a hug.

I gained inspiration from people whose only goal was to help others. To make them feel better and like their life was worth living. People whom I respect greatly, and attempt to even be a pale shadow of. I learned that the light inside people is rarely gone. Sometimes well hidden, but when unhindered... it shines brighter than the sun.

I gained hope. Hope that the world is not all cruel and dark. That if you look, you will find the antethesis to this. Sometimes in the most unexpected of places.

As for myself, I can't answer those parts. I have done a lot of introspection over the years. Some may say I have some insight into some things, but that's not for me to say. What I will say is that the people I have spoken to have taught me more about myself than I ever figured out on my own. Or at the very least led me down paths I never would have thought to go down.

Maybe a fragment of a life lived, but I never really feel comfortable attributing things to myself. I'm just me. No one special. However I have met a lot of very special people over the years, and seen their strength. Their courage, indomitable spirit, love, generosity, kind-heartedness... and maybe some of it has rubbed off. But again that's not really for me to say.

What I will say is... the thing I have gained the most is the knowledge that people can be incredible. For every instance of the darkest darkness in someone there can be the opposite. I've gained the honour of talking to those who made me think, and question, and realise that however insurmountable something may seem, it may be possible to overcome.

What do I think I have to give to the world? I wish I could answer that. Just myself I guess.

I felt much happier and a new lease on life.I seen it on my 39th birthday last month even more.Also have my life back now.

What I gained most in this transition is ... ME!!  I found myself, and I take great joy in not having to pretend any more.

The strength I have gained is self-confidence.  Playing a role all my life, I was never sure if I was doing it right.  So I perpetually doubted and second-guessed myself.  My life was ruled by fear of what others would thing.  All that is gone now.  I am who I am, and anyone who doesn't like it can get out of my way.

I don't know about a deeper understanding of the world, but I do have a deeper understanding of the people of Nova Scotia.  I always knew that they were "nice", but I had seriously underestimated how deep their niceness runs.  I have had not one single negative reaction to my transition.  Not one.  Most people are enthusiastcally supportive, and even those who are puzzled are accepting.  It restores my faith in humanity.

I don't know what I have to give the world.  I think that is for others to decide after I'm gone.