Gina I don't know you, and I'm not sure if you will read this but I hope you do. Love is a wonderful thing. Compromising it in any way can be a bad thing. Holding secrets for instance. From the time scale you've given you seem to be headlong into getting married. Myself I wouldn't rush into things, but this is your choice. Still this is something that is part of you. Getting rid of a few things won't make it go away.

I do hope that you will understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to see you down the road having problems because you tried to repress a part of you. At the same time I understand what it means to give something up so that you can hold on to something else that means so much to you.

I wish you luck and blessings.

You still have many things in common with us. That part can never be changed 

Gina,

In my first marriage I waited until after we were married 2 years to tell my wife and it was a disaster.  She proceeded to do absolutely everything that she could to ruin my life and continues to this day to undermine things that I do.

On the positive side, I never would have met my current wife.  I told her about a month after we started dating and I expected the worst.  Instead she actually said she felt sorry for me.  She was fine with it.  She didn't know a lot about the subject so she went out and bought some books on the subject.  She is incredibly supportive and very loving.  She is the love of my life, I couldn't hope for more.

I am not saying that your situation will turn out like mine, but I can say that if you don't tell her and you hide it you will never be truely happy. If you really do love her like you say you, have to tell her as soon as possible.  Waiting just forces you to lie to her, and lying in your relationships never turns out well.

Food for thought,

Jessica

Quote from: Tristen Cox on October 21, 2007, 12:23:38 PM
Gina I don't know you, and I'm not sure if you will read this but I hope you do. Love is a wonderful thing. Compromising it in any way can be a bad thing. Holding secrets for instance. From the time scale you've given you seem to be headlong into getting married. Myself I wouldn't rush into things, but this is your choice. Still this is something that is part of you. Getting rid of a few things won't make it go away.

I do hope that you will understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to see you down the road having problems because you tried to repress a part of you. At the same time I understand what it means to give something up so that you can hold on to something else that means so much to you.

I wish you luck and blessings.


You still have many things in common with us. That part can never be changed 

Also I don't know you, but after reading this topic. And the good advice here. I hope you read this.
I think the same way about it as Tristen Cox.
I do understand your choice
But also here someone is really afraid ; cause hiding/ run away from what's living in you , can break you up; cause feelings/desires you have, cannot just send away. And that cann give such stress, emotional, psychological, social; when you trying to deny feelings around this , it always come back; however whenever. And after all you have to live a whole life with yourself. And it's important that you can express yourself like the way you feel; it's about you feeling good in the way your live it

I don't wanna scare you or judge you or tell you what to do. But I'm just concern.
Just wanna say please take good care for yourself and your needs

I agree with all the posts.   Can true love stamp out all other desires/dreams/true self?  Only time will tell.  Best of luck Gina and have a happy life wherever you might be. 

buttercup 

Like Gina I tried repressing my true self for love for about two years.  It seemed that the longer I tried not to think about dressing up the urges became stronger.   After a while I had issues performing sexually with my girlfriend unless I closed my eyes and imagined myself as a woman.   After the relationship ended I was sad, but it also was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder, and I could go back to exploring who I actually was.  I have sinced vowed to not get seriously involved with someone unless they know everything about my crossdressing, because it is not fair to them or myself.     

Hi there ladies! I'm back! Unfortunately it didn't work out quite as well as I had planned with my girlfriend and I broke up with her the day before Christmas, and it didn't even seem to bother her. I don't think that she really loved me and that I was overwhelmed by the idea of being in love. But it did give me time to put my life in some assemblence and figure out exactly what I am, and that is that I am very comfortable being a cross-dresser.

Gina 

it was worth a try though.

Gina,

Sorry that it didn't work out with your girlfriend, but it's nice to see you back here.

y2g

Thanks Pica Pica. You're right. It was worth a try, and I did enjoy having her around, even though it was only twice a month. Biggest problem with her was that there was so much mystery around her, and she was very vague with answers. I did tell her about me being a cross-dresser, and it didn't seem to bother her.

Thanks for having me back y2gender. It really fills my heart with a warm feeling of love.

Gina  

I'm sorry that it didn't work out fo you, Gina. The fact that you are comfortable as a crossdresser speaks volumes as to where you are now. Some day some one specialwill see that in you.


Gennee

hi Gina,

i am sorry to hear that it didn't work out with you and your girl. but it is goo that you have come to terms with who you are. i told my wife not long after we found each other. she was understanding and still loves me to this day where i now know that i am not just another cd but a mtf transsexual and she is still loving and understands who i am, our sister(long story) is still coming to terms but is still accepting of me. my wife and i have 2 kids and i still want two more little girls, then she promised i can have my surgery. not that i could probably afford it then, either..lol. but i have a very unique woman and pray you find one as well.

Mickie

Hey,

Sorry to hear about your breaking up, but if she didn't really love you then it is for the best. Just keep going, when you are least expecting it you'll stumble across your sole mate...

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

Very well put Gennee. It was a shame that it didn't work out, but at least I realized the problems first before I married her and that there really wasn't any love from her side, but all that she was after was sex. But it did show me that my heart was more for my cross-dressing and that is where I will remain. Sure I may find someone that will appreciate my life as a CD like Mickie's wife, but right now I'm just happy to be myself and live my life to the fullest and to have supportive friends like yourselves behind me.

Gina

Gina,
Sorry to hear that it didn't work out with your girlfriend, but it is good to see you back here.  This week is the tenth anniversary of the day I told my wife that I was a crossdresser.  We are still very much married.  There are many women who are accepting of crossdressers, I hope that some day you may find true love.

Congratulations Louise. I'm really happy to hear that things are still going well for you and your wife. Maybe one day I might find an understanding wife like you have. I just read your wonderful post about your ten year anniversary.

Now as I may have said a few posts back, the cross-dressing wasn't the problem with my girlfriend. She just wasn't honest with me. Here I am telling her that I'm in love with her and after seven months she can't tell me how she feels about me because all that she was interested in was coming over to my place and spending a little time with me and then fornicating. Fortunately due to some medical problems, she couldn't get pregnant, but I just thought that it was strange that she would drive an hour and she'd never let me come to her place (even though she was living with her parents) and she'd tell me about her brother and sister and their kids but she'd never tell me their names, even though when I'd tell her about anyone I'd always use a name. So their was always a lot of mystery around her. I had bought her a nice lingerie and when I had ended it with her I told her that I could send it back to her and in her reply she asked me not to. It's also strange that in the seven months that I had been seeing her that she hadn't told her parents and she'd be arriving home late at night.

Gina

Posted on: January 01, 2008, 09:59:18 AM

---

No self pity here. I got back on the Internet and joined a on-line dating service and had found a few possible women that I liked. A week later I received a reply and we're meeting each other tomorrow. Now I won't be telling her about my being a cross-dresser that soon, but I'll be waiting it out. My problem last time was that I rushed into th relationship too soon and as said it's costing me now. But at least on the bright side, it's given me a chance to freshen up my wardrobe. 

Gina 

Best wishes for you and your new friend.  It is easy to say not to rush into a relationship, but I know that when the emotions start working on us it is hard to do.  I do hope that before things get too serious that you will be open about being a crossdresser.  No relationship will get very far without honesty and open communication on both sides. 

I found a new girl through a on-line dating service and we went out and I thought everything was good, but she told me that we don't match. Yesterday, I contacted my ex-girlfriend and we've agreed to just be friends with no relationship involved. We'll see how it works.

Gina 

Things to watch for in a relationship:

I would say almost everyone gets into a relationship in which they are in love with the idea of having a relationship (after being bored of being alone) and do not look realisticly at whether they are compatible. (Even my dad at the age of 75 with his 4th wife!). I can kind of make myself compatible, just for a dream to live for a while.

The other common mistake to make is to note that opposites attract and look for the opposites in your partner and say, well I find them interesting now, but will they eventually annoy me

My favourite mistake was to ignore bad aspects of a person - eg stupidity, selfishness, alcoholism etc and quietly believe that I could somehow change them...aaarrggg

Fortunately loads of girls love TV's in my experience, I have always pulled easily, they feel much more at ease generally with TV's.

If everyone could fill out my lovely survey (currently the third crossdressing post), which is actually quite important, especially for all those teenage TV's ripping their soul to pieces wondering what the hell is going on with their inner selves... that would be great!

Thanks Janinea for your kind words of advice. After nine months of dating, she finally told me why she won't get involved in a long term relationship, and that is because she is so comitted to her parents, and then she tells me that she cares so much for me that every time she's with me her feelings grow more stronger, so she feels that she has to stay away from me. I give up! Fortunately on the first of February, I found this wonderful transsexual woman that I fell in love with and she fell in love with me  and we are so right for each other and so unbelievably  compatiable. We are in the stages of planning our wedding. Alls invited. . .

Gina 

Congrats Gina! 

So who's wearing the dress?      I had to wear a Kilt because my wife wanted to wear the dress and we figured that paying for one wedding dress was enough.