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I don't know what to do...

Started by Rafaelle, December 18, 2017, 09:00:26 AM

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Rafaelle

Hi, my name is Rafael and currently I am a boy, I've been thinking for a while to start transitioning as a girl but the problem is, I am sexually attracted to girls and not to boys. I want to be a girl, it feels so right but I don't know how to control the situation I'm in. My mother would not approve my choice neither my sister, but I feel desperate to show who I truly am. When I see myself in the mirror, I imagine how I would be as a girl, I already look very feminine with the exception of my eyebrows. Anyone could give me an opinion please?
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Zquence

Gender identity and sexuality are two different things, I personally have always likes both.

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Rafaelle

I know, but it feels weird wanting to be a girl and being sexually attracted to girls, I don't know how to describe it. I could say that I feel like a lesbian while being a man O.o
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Bari Jo

Yes you could say that.  I think trying to separate the sexuality and gender issues though is an easier conversation with coming out.  I was asked if I liked girls or boys when I came out.  Then I said boys, but maybe worship girls.  If I wasn't asked about sexuality I wouldn't have brought it up.  I should preface that was with my mom and dad.  With my sister, I told her in the letter about my sexuality.

Bari Jo

you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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elkie-t

Quote from: Rafaelle on December 18, 2017, 09:00:26 AM
Hi, my name is Rafael and currently I am a boy, I've been thinking for a while to start transitioning as a girl but the problem is, I am sexually attracted to girls and not to boys. I want to be a girl, it feels so right but I don't know how to control the situation I'm in. My mother would not approve my choice neither my sister, but I feel desperate to show who I truly am. When I see myself in the mirror, I imagine how I would be as a girl, I already look very feminine with the exception of my eyebrows. Anyone could give me an opinion please?
The younger you come out to your family and start transition (whether your family approves it or not), the better outcome you can expect both in looks, in quality of life, in everything, generally speaking.

And if you don't act now and stay in shadows because of your fear - the more you'd want to do it, yet the more difficult it will become.

So, it's now (or very soon) or never (or in 20-40 years)...
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elkie-t

As far as being sexually attracted to girls, it may change over time (or not). Either way, there's no requirement for a trans person to be heterosexual.


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Rafaelle

You're right, even now old people mistake me as a girl, the only thing that shows that I am a boy is my eyebrows,the hair on my face that is too black to not be noticeable and my adams apple. I think that if I started transitioning now, I would be able to pull off the look in several months.
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Rafaelle

I am very little interested in guys, like maybe a little crush on a very handsome guy but that's it, I wouldn't do something sexual with him, maybe romantic relationship but I would not go further.
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KathyLauren

Hi, Rafaelle!

Welcome to Susan's.  Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.

I am like you - I am MTF and I am only attracted to women.  For years, while I was in denial about my identity, I would tell myself that, if I could choose my sexual orientation, I would be a lesbian.  (Okay, I admit I was slow to figure out what that meant in terms of gender identity!)

I was married in an apparently heterosexual relationship.  When I transitioned, my wife stayed with me (Yay!!) and we are now in a lesbian relationship.  It feels totally right for me.  She finds it a bit weird, in an amusing way, to become a lesbian through no choice of her own, but she is cool with it.

There are gay and straight trans people, just as there are gay and straight cis people.

Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Things that you should read





2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Gertrude

Find a therapist that specializes in gender identity.


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Kendra

Quote from: Zquence on December 18, 2017, 09:08:21 AM
> Gender identity and sexuality are two different things
If you have access to one, a gender therapist can help you sort things out. 

I didn't see a requirement to choose... so I have been dating a married male/female couple.

If you decide to transition, you might find your preferences remain exactly the same or may shift over time. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Rafaelle

Thanks everyone for your kind support and help.
😋
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