Have you ever heard the question that if you could choose to be born again as the gender that you identify as, would you do it?

For some reason I've always had a hard time with questions like that, like in this video (starting around 3:00+):


I think they are all really good questions (didn't watch it now so don't remember all of them), but for some reason the idea of being born again almost like as someone else, has always been pretty baffling to me. I like to be me! And in a way the life history I've had has made me the person I am today. So I'm always struggling to answer those questions, as weird as it sounds. The other one is, 'if you could push a button and become a man/woman just like that, would you push it?'

For some reason those kind of questions have always made me uneasy. Like, what do you mean 'become a man' - I already am a guy! Maybe it's because I socially transitioned so early that I've actually lived as one for so long, so the question does not apply to me in a sense it would apply to someone just realizing they're trans & contemplating if they are or not & if they should transition?

It's not that I like being trans - far from it! But I also know that had I been born a cis guy, my life would have probably been a lot different so far - and maybe I'd have become a little different kind of person, then?

Or then I'm just taking such questions too seriously  ! Plus they are also impossible in a way that no such buttons actually exist. So it's not like - I could push this button & have a cis guy body just like that! So, it's all theoretical to begin with...

For those of you who are still questioning, under the video you can find the questions! They are all really good questions (they are from mtf prospective). And when applied to me & medically transitioning aka going on T - of course I'd like to effortlessly have a cis body & be treated as a guy, just like that!

But the idea of being born again as a cis guy I find baffling.

If such an option existed, would you have rather been born as cis female/male? Or do you find this life experience you've had paramount to your personality/character/the kind of person you became?

What are your thoughts on these types of questions?

Haha, maybe I'm thinking about these way too deep  ! Or maybe the idea of 'being born again' & living my childhood all over I find to be a weird concept! I survived it once, don't wanna go back there again,  .

- Haha, the more I think about this, the more I feel the question is just about whether I'd like to be cis & having been cis all along! Well, of course. But I still think the concept of choosing to be born again (or having been born) as just cis is highly hypotethical in nature, and thus not to be taken so seriously, . So you can't really give an accurate answer as if that was truly possible. And still don't like the idea of reliving my childhood! -

Just in case you are interested (or the video is deleted), here are the questions:
(Still remember that the point of this thread was to discuss about your feelings regarding that 'born again cis' question. But you can include your thoughts on these too, if you like!)

1. If I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow as a girl, with everyone else understanding you and relating to you as a girl, irrevocably but painlessly, would you press it?

2. Alternatively, if I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow still as a guy, but without any of the gender issues you've been having, not questioning your gender, and able to live happily as a guy with zero dysphoria, would you press it?

3. If I had both of those buttons, which one would you rather press, all other things being equal?

4. If I had a test that could tell you if you were a guy or a girl, which answer would you be hoping for as you took it? Which way would you try to skew your answers, if you did (consciously or not) try to skew them in either direction?

5. If you washed up on a desert island, by yourself, but with any amount of both male and female clothing, with no hope of rescue but otherwise everything that you needed for a relatively healthy and happy life, would you choose to present as male? female? neither? a mix of the two? one way some of the time, the other way the rest? If for some bizarre reason a lifetime supply of hormones washed up with you as well, do you think you'd take them? What if you washed up with the button from the first thought experiment - in a situation where you were by yourself, would you press it?

6. Let's say I had a test that asked about all of the things, very thorough, and at the end it would tell you, with 100% accuracy, whether or not you were trans. So you take it, and it tells you, "Well, you've got some mild gender confusion, but you're definitely not trans, and you shouldn't transition." How would that make you feel?

7. On the other hand, what if the test told you "Yup, you're definitely trans all right, and you should probably start planning your transition." - how would you feel about that?

Yes


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I probably would push it too.  It comes with the understanding that I would be a different person entirely though.  Much of my repression has shaped my hobbies, knowledge and position in life.  I don't think I would end up where I am, and I like where I am currently.  With that said I would take the gamble probably.

Bari Jo

The answers seem obvious to many of us, but it's one way to start thinking about things if you are questioning. 

I'd choose all the options where l would be female. 

Took me 50 years to realize that the reason that I always wanted to be female is because that's what I am.  I don't think there was ever a time in the past that I would have even hesitated to push that button if given the chance.



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One and two: In a heartbeat. It took a while for me to realise this, but it isn't about which gender I am, it's about being comfortable in my own skin and not feeling "wrong". It's about the point where I don't have to think about it. And if either of those options existed I would take them, just to get some peace. With the caveat that all the experiences in my life I have had to that point weren't wiped away. If they were, I wouldn't choose either. It's one thing to live a continued life like that, but quite another to erase your life to date in order to do it.

Three: If BOTH options existed... the first one. I tend to go with the 90% of me which dreams, and feels, and relates to the world. I would feel uncomfortable going with the other 10% which basically equates to a mirrored reflection.

Four, six, and seven: I wouldn't take the test. I have learned to trust my feelings and intuition over an arbitrary set of questions. I would rather believe in many years of soul searching over an hour of ticking boxes.

Five is an interesting question. It seems to me basically to ascertain whether you're doing it for yourself or for other people around you. It's one I've asked folks on several occasions. If no one could see you, would you still go through with it. My answer would be the same as one and two: In a heartbeat.

I understand your unease. I think the questions were meant more in a physical sense, not a mental one. But the question of being born one way or another is slightly different to these. And one I have thought about often. It's easy to say "Yes I wish I had been born as my gender." It's very easy. And very tempting. A lot of people feel like they have missed out on so much. Growing up in an entirely different, and maybe happier way. Experiencing things they could, and do, only dream of. I get that. And sometimes maybe I have wished that.

But on the whole I would say no. I am glad for my experiences in life. It's made me who I am. It's made me appreciate that people are more than just skin deep. And the totality of a human being. It's allowed me to look deeper than maybe I would have. To see with a different perspective than I maybe would have. And I would not trade that, at all.

Quote from: Sephirah on December 18, 2017, 01:56:38 PM

Sephirah - great answer  !!!

Quote from: Sephirah on December 18, 2017, 01:56:38 PM
But on the whole I would say no. I am glad for my experiences in life. It's made me who I am. It's made me appreciate that people are more than just skin deep. And the totality of a human being. It's allowed me to look deeper than maybe I would have. To see with a different perspective than I maybe would have. And I would not trade that, at all.

It's nice to hear I'm not the only one with this thought pattern!

QuoteOr do you find this life experience you've had paramount to your personality/character/the kind of person you became?

It is formative and I'm sure had I not faced the issues I have I would probably be a very different person. I was deliberately raised neutral, my parents wanted me to choose my own toys and expression, I definitely remember that, and I remember them saying it too - BUT I think they did this because they thought I was a girl and they wanted to be progressive with a girl. If I was a boy to them, I don't think they'd have made that extra effort. Also, strangely, my parents never really treated me the way they did their other female children anyway. My older sister didn't have a hard time of it from them like I did, and my biological father never really knew how to treat a girl anyway, I think. Which was probably one of the reasons he gave custody up back to my mother as soon as possible. I do wonder what my parents would have treated me like as a son, and I think it would have been different, at least in the case of my biological parents rather than my stepfather - my stepfather was a great role model and teacher and I think he'd have had the same sort of consistency if I'd been born male. My real father I think would have been desperate to fill my head with his morality and my mother would probably have liked me better. I never thought she particularly gets along with women and I suspect she always wanted a boy instead of two girls from some of the things she said.

So that could have gone very differently. How parents treat you has a massive effect on who a child becomes. As it was I always felt isolated from all of them - didn't see my bio father much, my stepfather was always at that slight distance of never being my "real" father (but probably the closest ironically), and my mother was emotionally distant from everyone. This would definitely have affected me - I wouldn't have grown up feeling quite so alone and kind of unwanted, I think.

Anyway.

Quote
1. If I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow as a girl, with everyone else understanding you and relating to you as a girl, irrevocably but painlessly, would you press it?

As in, to wake up as was born but without gender dysphoria? No. I've thought about it since T and I'm much calmer and happier on T despite the problems that took me to this point. I would still have had my brain in a female body subject to estrogen and I was a stressed-out type. Now I'm not, so I think I would say no.

QuoteIf I had a test that could tell you if you were a guy or a girl, which answer would you be hoping for as you took it?

You mean like some device that would just tell you the absolute truth about yourself? I guess it doesn't matter if it's the truth as there's no denying that. 

QuoteIf you washed up on a desert island, by yourself, but with any amount of both male and female clothing, with no hope of rescue but otherwise everything that you needed for a relatively healthy and happy life, would you choose to present as male? female? neither? a mix of the two? one way some of the time, the other way the rest? If for some bizarre reason a lifetime supply of hormones washed up with you as well, do you think you'd take them? What if you washed up with the button from the first thought experiment - in a situation where you were by yourself, would you press it?

I suppose I'd choose whatever I felt was comfortable to wear and to hell with the presenting, lol. Male clothing would be practical for rough and dirty work hunting and building things, and female clothing would probably be better in hot climates. And in some cases, no clothing at all might be practical too.

If some T washed up on the shore I'd take that. Having periods is a pain in the ass and wouldn't help any in survival situations. T would help with muscle mass which would help when I'd have to do absolutely everything myself including building shelter, hunting etc.

Quote
6. Let's say I had a test that asked about all of the things, very thorough, and at the end it would tell you, with 100% accuracy, whether or not you were trans. So you take it, and it tells you, "Well, you've got some mild gender confusion, but you're definitely not trans, and you shouldn't transition." How would that make you feel?

I'd disagree and do it anyway. Hormones have been very good for me physically and psychologically, and surgery will help too I am sure.

Quote
7. On the other hand, what if the test told you "Yup, you're definitely trans all right, and you should probably start planning your transition." - how would you feel about that?

I'd take it as a small extra encouragement of what I already feel to be the truth.

This idea of being born male - I like to say I wouldn't be a different person but I probably would. But what's important is that I think I'd be a better person if I had been born male. A lot of the negatives of my life have been caused by anxiety, fear, and shame (of the body). They were no small part caused by the trans problem. If they had not been there, I might well have not spent many years drifting, trying to engage in careers but then not feeling able to because of the trans problem (professional acting being one of those things), I might well be more personable and friendly, and easy-going, and generally might not have had a trail of bitter experiences behind me that affect my outlook now. I was listening to a psychology lecture recently in which I heard the line: "everything you've known and experienced will be right there in the way you carry yourself, even in your posture... it's practically your soul and it's there for all to see." That's a horrible thought and I think it's true. Everything I've been through might well be written in my eyes or something, which might explain why it is that I don't immediately get along with other people that well. It's possible they sense this is a troubled animal. Probably even in my posture and the way I walk like that professor said. The way I walk does reflect how I feel, and how I feel comes from where I've been. If I could change where I've been that would change a lot right down to the gait.

I can't change any of it so easily though. It all has to be carried on the back and it's probably in the DNA by now. 

Viktor - awesome post again  ! You're on a roll, you really are,  !!! Keep going!!!

Quote from: Viktor on December 18, 2017, 02:16:39 PM
This idea of being born male - I like to say I wouldn't be a different person but I probably would. But what's important is that I think I'd be a better person if I had been born male. A lot of the negatives of my life have been caused by anxiety, fear, and shame (of the body). They were no small part caused by the trans problem. If they had not been there, I might well have not spent many years drifting, trying to engage in careers but then not feeling able to because of the trans problem (professional acting being one of those things), I might well be more personable and friendly, and easy-going, and generally might not have had a trail of bitter experiences behind me that affect my outlook now.

So true... I probably wouldn't like to be born completely over again - but... What I know for sure is that many things in my life would have been totally different had I not had this problem. All my social isolation, anxiety, resentment, problems in life... are mainly caused by this. Starting by not fitting in as a child. Do I think my life would have been easier as a cis guy? Not necessarily! I'd surely still be this same person & would have had the same parents etc... But all gender-related stuff would be gone & my life would have most certainly taken some different paths as it has now.

But then again - I'm almost certain I'd be a completely different person, with different kind of upbringing, different life experiences... and since I had such a strict childhood it's very hard for me even to imagine how different things might have been had I been born cis 

Anyway, I'm stuck with this. This body. And this baggage,  .

Quote from: Viktor on December 18, 2017, 02:16:39 PM
I was listening to a psychology lecture recently in which I heard the line: "everything you've known and experienced will be right there in the way you carry yourself, even in your posture... it's practically your soul and it's there for all to see." That's a horrible thought and I think it's true.

That is a horrible truth indeed.

Quote from: Viktor on December 18, 2017, 02:16:39 PM
Everything I've been through might well be written in my eyes or something, which might explain why it is that I don't immediately get along with other people that well. It's possible they sense this is a troubled animal. Probably even in my posture and the way I walk like that professor said. The way I walk does reflect how I feel, and how I feel comes from where I've been. If I could change where I've been that would change a lot right down to the gait.

Relate 100%!!! Again,  . I'm struggling & fighting every single day to undo my past life experiences! I try to start with a clean slate everyday. And remind myself that tomorrow doesn't have to be the same as yesterday...

If I could become a CIS girl of course I would do it. If I could press a button and become a CIS male who liked being male? Absolutely not. Being female is what makes me who I am. If that was changed and I became male that wouldn't be me anymore. Who I am now would die. The only comparison I can think of would be a lobotomy.  A lobotomy isn't physically fatal but it's like the death of your current t personality.

As for the tests, they would be irrelevant.  No matter what a test might say I'm female and I know that.

As for the dessert island question, I would still dress female since that's what I am. It would be amazing if hormones managed to wash up on shore.  I would take them. I would also be hoping a box with a generator and all my devices would wash up too. I would hope that island had WiFi and movie streaming. A dessert island would be totally boring!

No doubt, yes.

If I remembered being this version of me yes....if I lose everything as if I never existed then no. The second button nope no way

My elaborate conclusion as to whether I would push a button to be born with the correct awesome male body to my awesome male brain is: Yes, definitely, where is that damn button, I want to push the hell out of it right here right now!



Any button that would change my brain and hence me and my personality I wouldn't push though.
Same goes for something that would not only change the brain but also turn me into a "cis" chick, urgh, no way! That would be the polar opposite of me and I would never want to be that. 

I would push the button.  I think that is the only way I could feel whole.  In my life now I can never experience the ability to grow life from my own ova in my own womb.  That's the primary reason, though I also would gain an entire life (especially the formative years) as female, with all the social growth.  I think I would have made a good mother.  This is the main source of my dysphoria.
I would miss out on the great life experiences I would have had, but my soul would be the same and I would still have a great life.
Smiling still, Jessica

1. If I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow as a girl, with everyone else understanding you and relating to you as a girl, irrevocably but painlessly, would you press it?


Yes. No question.

2. Alternatively, if I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow still as a guy, but without any of the gender issues you've been having, not questioning your gender, and able to live happily as a guy with zero dysphoria, would you press it?

No, definitely not. I want to be, and that wouldn't be me.

3. If I had both of those buttons, which one would you rather press, all other things being equal?

First one, no elaboration needed.

4. If I had a test that could tell you if you were a guy or a girl, which answer would you be hoping for as you took it? Which way would you try to skew your answers, if you did (consciously or not) try to skew them in either direction?

I would ignore the test outright no matter the answer, only I know myself.

5. If you washed up on a desert island, by yourself, but with any amount of both male and female clothing, with no hope of rescue but otherwise everything that you needed for a relatively healthy and happy life, would you choose to present as male? female? neither? a mix of the two? one way some of the time, the other way the rest? If for some bizarre reason a lifetime supply of hormones washed up with you as well, do you think you'd take them? What if you washed up with the button from the first thought experiment - in a situation where you were by yourself, would you press it?

Female, hands down. I would take the hormones, and I would push the button. Though it'd be nice if there were some hair removal tools in that ship wreckage as well.

6. Let's say I had a test that asked about all of the things, very thorough, and at the end it would tell you, with 100% accuracy, whether or not you were trans. So you take it, and it tells you, "Well, you've got some mild gender confusion, but you're definitely not trans, and you shouldn't transition." How would that make you feel?

A few months ago? Depressed. Now? I'd just ignore it.

7. On the other hand, what if the test told you "Yup, you're definitely trans all right, and you should probably start planning your transition." - how would you feel about that?

A few months ago? Relieved I had the push I needed. Now? I'd just ignore it, because even if it was reinforcing my feelings, I am at the point I only put faith in my own feelings and truth on the subject.

The button that once pressed completes the righting of whatever mix-up was in the past sounds to good to be true.   But it sounds so welcoming!   Heck Yes---Press! 

I would have pushed that button before I ever started kindergarten. It would have saved me from so much turmoil, it ain't even funny.

I more fully thought about the ramifications of doing this.  I have 2 wonderful sons that would not exist.  So in effect I would be killing my own children, who are living their own lives with their children.  Couldn't do it.

I have to wonder though, if there was such a button, and you could change your life so completely from the beginning, who is to say you wouldn't have children anyway?  I love my children unconditionally, but I've often thought thought that if I could go back to the beginning again and be born female then I'd do it in a heart beat.

I'm a bit envious of those who do have kids. For some reason, something inside me won't let me do it. There's not a motivation to, but I can see that kids change people's lives and I can sort of see an alternate reality me that does have them. But it won't happen in this one.

Maybe some aspect of my mind knew I was going to either go off the rails, die or find some way to cure myself and kids shouldn't have been dragged into it either way, or maybe there's just too many crossed wires up there. I never underestimate the basic wisdom of kids - my kid self knew more than my adult self did about the truth of me. In this reality though I am pretty much gonna live and die without them, without leaving much of anything behind. I can see it now. It looks like my great task in life is just to survive, and be isolated. By the time I get over all of my obstacles and feel like an actual human being it will be way too late for any of that.

I am going to have to say this is like the red button. Don't push that button. We all know we shouldn't press the button but, the pull of a changed life and a better one yearns to all of us. Would we push it, yes! Now as stated in several posts. This would mean you are not the same person and the things that have shaped you to what you are now would be totally different. Now would this be an instance of time travel where i remember my old life or no memory of the alternate reality? I would press it in both cases just to see the other side. I mean I would be different but, would hope I would still have the essence of my soul and being.