Hi!
Call me Davy... I am scared... I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to change enough to look like a girl. I hate my self so much and I look myself in the mirror and I don't see me... I see someone I hate so much and I want to change but if I don't change enough I'm afraid that would be it for me, that I would eventually ... myself because I can't live like this... My only comfort is my girlfriend and I love her so much and she supports me a lot...
I will go on HRT hopefully during the next year, I will be 22 then...
I hate my wide shoulders... will it change? how long until I can dress in female clothing and not feel like a mistake, not feel like a freak, not feel so terrible and self-loathing??? I am so scared that my life will crash and burn because if I can't get better I will just give up...
If someone has images of them before and after in women's clothes, something that could show me that there is a chance for me, I would be thankful... or advice...
Thank you if you've read this post and it's nice to meet you ;-;

Hi Davy 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

You've come to the right place, many of us here have felt your pain and have lived it also

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Hugs

V M

I hate my wide shoulders... will it change? how long until I can dress in female clothing and not feel like a mistake, not feel like a freak, not feel so terrible and self-loathing??? I am so scared that my life will crash and burn because if I can't get better I will just give up...
If someone has images of them before and after in women's clothes, something that could show me that there is a chance for me, I would be thankful... or advice..

Davy
Wide shoulders? Big deal. A lot of us have a height problem, a weight problem, shoe size problem, also no fashion sense. It's not stopping us. Why? Because even with our faults we are far more comfortable in our own skin than the one we have inhabited all our lives. Check out the "you look fabulous" threads. There are some amazing transformations. No your shoulders will not get narrower with HRT. Your fat will redistribute and may make you look a little smaller. But there are ways to carry yourself that makes it appear smaller, such as the right clothes, just a simple thing such as walking with your palms slightly forward instead of at your side will give the illusion of a smaller shoulder and pulls your elbows inward, give a more feminine outline. So cheer up. Like most things at life we excel at. It takes practice.

Hi Davy 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's.  I think with your younger age you may accomplish far more than you have dreamed.  I'm 61, I started with defined male features that have absolutely soften and given me hope.  I indeed feel better mentally and physically after nearly 6 months of hrt.  Yes, ymmv (your mileage may vary), but you have a vast advantage over me with your age.
I hope you get the support from Susan's as much as I do.  Many voices of reason here.

Hugs, Jessica 💁‍♀️

Hi Davy! There is a before and after thread in the mtf sub forum, though be forewarned the earlier posts won't show up because of image hosting sites changing over the years/months. There are some amazing transformations, don't give up hope at all! Your shoulders may lose some muscle mass creating a narrower look, but it's generally not an area you are going to see notable changes unless you have been doing tons of working out.

Fortunately for both of us, it turns out that shoulders are way less of an issue than you'd think. Google broad shouldered women, and you will find endless gorgeous actresses and celebrities. I was terrified about my shoulders until I found out they are the same width proportionally as Demi Moore. There's a few body types that feature broad shoulders (including curvier hour glass figures), but the most relevant one for trans women is the inverted triangle probably. Broader shoulders are actually something many women aspire to because it is associated with an athletic look. I've seen a few random forums with posts by genetic girls being envious of the legs and shoulders of trans women, which blows my mind every time.

Welcome to Susan's Place. What I am going to say will be a little difficult for you to accept but it is important for you to know. Most of the time even with appearance issues, we can present a feminine image. This doesn't mean we aren't going to be spotted from time to time. As you progress through your transition you will discover that being yourself becomes more important than passing. People are accepting and if they happen to read you, you may never know because they will be polite enough to accept you as you are. Remember that the goal is to become comfortable in your own skin and not to please others. This is a very obtainable goal and nearly everybody who transitions obtains it.