Yeah - nice topics for Christmas I have,  !

A very grim topic indeed:
Well, everyone knows that trans haters think being trans is a mental illness.

So, today's question goes:
Did you ever think that yourself? Did you internilize that?
Did some people even tell you that in person? Did you believe it?
Did you ever question your sanity? Did you think you must be crazy for feeling this way, or something like that? Did you believe it's not possible to feel that you're some other when the obvious 'facts' of your body tell you otherwise?

How did you get over that?

---
Yes, I have thought of that.
At first at 13-14 I was fine with it! (being trans) I didn't see any problem whatsoever. Until at 14 those mental health guys tried to convince me I was insane. That was the first time I ever questioned myself. Like - what if I am? And just don't know it?! Then my family went eagerly on board with that and tried to converse me back to being a good girl. It was a very grim episode in my life.
I got over that pretty quickly & realized they were wrong - but some scars remained. At least, for years after that those things still played tricks in my mind.

And after I wasn't able to transition:
As a coping mechanism I tried not to think about the whole issue for years, like it didn't matter. And although I know that's not true and I don't believe in it (that being trans is a mental illness) and never have - the thought has come to my mind multiple times. Like - am I crazy for feeling/being this way? Why can't I just accept the fact that I was born female and deal with it? What's wrong with being a female? Nothing. So why can't I just be one? Is it insane to constantly feel/think in your mind that you're a guy - but all the evidence points otherwise? Maybe this is a delusion, after all. Maybe I am delusional for feeling/thinking this way.

Again, I got over that mainly because of this site & you guys  . I'm starting to feel more & more normal by every minute. I no longer question myself. And I feel at peace.

I can only hope not many of you have had those types of thoughts... but I'm afraid that is the case.

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 22, 2017, 04:21:54 PM
Yeah - nice topics for Christmas I have,  !

A very grim topic indeed:
Well, everyone knows that trans haters think being trans is a mental illness.

So, today's question goes:
Did you ever think that yourself? Did you internilize that?
Did some people even tell you that in person? Did you believe it?
Did you ever question your sanity? Did you think you must be crazy for feeling this way, or something like that? Did you believe it's not possible to feel that you're some other when the obvious 'facts' of your body tell you otherwise?

How did you get over that?

---
Yes, I have thought of that.
At first at 13-14 I was fine with it! (being trans) I didn't see any problem whatsoever. Until at 14 those mental health guys tried to convince me I was insane. That was the first time I ever questioned myself. Like - what if I am? And just don't know it?! Then my family went eagerly on board with that and tried to converse me back to being a good girl. It was a very grim episode in my life.
I got over that pretty quickly & realized they were wrong - but some scars remained. At least, for years after that those things still played tricks in my mind.

And after I wasn't able to transition:
As a coping mechanism I tried not to think about the whole issue for years, like it didn't matter. And although I know that's not true and I don't believe in it (that being trans is a mental illness) and never have - the thought has come to my mind multiple times. Like - am I crazy for feeling/being this way? Why can't I just accept the fact that I was born female and deal with it? What's wrong with being a female? Nothing. So why can't I just be one? Is it insane to constantly feel/think in your mind that you're a guy - but all the evidence points otherwise? Maybe this is a delusion, after all. Maybe I am delusional for feeling/thinking this way.

Again, I got over that mainly because of this site & you guys  . I'm starting to feel more & more normal by every minute. I no longer question myself. And I feel at peace.

I can only hope not many of you have had those types of thoughts... but I'm afraid that is the case.

YES, I always tried to hide myself, not get noticed so much, i didnt let myself explore anything too girly, but didnt really like doing guy stuff im sort off trapt in a shell  atm, like afraid to express myself with anything now its kinda scary

i have this door i can sometimes push all the disphoria i feel into and lock it, until something happens where i get confused as a girl, or life is too stressfull then it generally comes back worse than what it was

No, never.

I'm 100% confident of my sanity and my good mental health, even under the worst duress. I'm not convinced I'm in any way out of mental sorts, and when someone claims I am I will challenge them to prove I'm "out of touch with reality" or "insane" or somehow "incapable" of living normal life.

Nobody's told me this in person (some might actually think this due to perceptions of trans but probably don't have the guts). Online I see plenty of people saying "trans is a mental illness" and usually these people are ignorant and don't even know a trans person.

I never question my sanity. Or maybe I weigh it up constantly to make sure it's up to scratch - however you want to look at that idea. I'm not crazy for being trans because absolutely nothing about it interferes with a clear perception of reality beyond and outside the body, the way the world is, my particular place in it, and my everyday life, etc. No more so than someone who has an actual body deformity and would like it altered to feel better is "nuts".

But then I'm not trying to convince myself of anything, or other people of anything. I'm (A) that feels like (B), which is also a fact. I'm (A) that now looks like (B), also a fact. A might as well be (B) for all everyday purposes and mental wellbeing, also a fact. No truths have been denied here. (That's how I circumvent any personal conflicts with the idea and avoid any delusions).

The main problem people have with "trans people's sanity" is the idea that the body should inform the brain about what that person is. In other words, look between your legs (or at your chromosomes) and believe.. But more evidence keeps coming to light that it's not the body that controls self-image but the brain and brain structure, and brain structure (although usually sexually dimorphic), is on a spectrum and is only partially developed at birth as well. When it comes to gender identity correlation doesn't equal causation - the majority of the population assumes it does though.

Yes, a thousand times yes.  This is perhaps why I've been in denial and fighting the trans beast so long.  I still think I'm mentally ill, but I've come to accept it, and my treatment.  My treatment is transitioning with hrt.  I don't think I will ever feel sane, but I am calmer and happier now with my treatment.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on December 22, 2017, 05:15:10 PM
Yes, a thousand times yes.  This is perhaps why I've been in denial and fighting the trans beast so long.  I still think I'm mentally ill, but I've come to accept it, and my treatment.  My treatment is transitioning with hrt.  I don't think I will ever feel sane, but I am calmer and happier now with my treatment.

Bari Jo

Sorry to hear that! You are sane, though  .

No. I have not ever considered being trans a mental illness. And I've never questioned my sanity.

Oh yeah, I've been told that I was mentally ill lots of times. When I first transitioned my mom told me I was crazy. My grandpa and uncle told me that all the time. My uncle even suggested to my dad that he have me committed to a nut house so they could give me intensive therapy to get over me thinking I wanted to be a girl. My dad asked him on what possible grounds could he have me committed. My uncle said because I was a danger to myself. He said hrt would cause harmful changes to my body and that if I didn't get treatment I would have my dick cut off and once that happened I might as well be dead. (God what a total Dick he is!"  My dad just told him he didn't know how his own brother could be so ignorant.

Being told I was mentally ill for being trans didn't cause any doubts about transitioning. But it did piss me off.

No,  but I almost convinced myself I was an alien,  I felt so detached and separate from people and society.

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Quote from: Julia1996 on December 22, 2017, 05:35:13 PM
Oh yeah, I've been told that I was mentally ill lots of times. When I first transitioned my mom told me I was crazy. My grandpa and uncle told me that all the time. My uncle even suggested to my dad that he have me committed to a nut house so they could give me intensive therapy to get over me thinking I wanted to be a girl. My dad asked him on what possible grounds could he have me committed. My uncle said because I was a danger to myself. He said hrt would cause harmful changes to my body and that if I didn't get treatment I would have my dick cut off and once that happened I might as well be dead. (God what a total Dick he is!"  My dad just told him he didn't know how his own brother could be so ignorant.

Whatever that 'cruel' thing you once did to your uncle was I'm sure that bastard deserved that!!!

Quote from: Megan. on December 22, 2017, 05:45:17 PM
No,  but I almost convinced myself I was an alien,  I felt so detached and separate from people and society.

Same... !

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 22, 2017, 05:51:59 PM


Whatever that 'cruel' thing you once did to your uncle was I'm sure that bastard deserved that!!!

I pretty much destroyed his self confidence.  My uncle has always had problems with his weight. My dad got him into going to the gym but at the time he was a bit overweight. His nose was also badly broken when he was a teenager and it's crooked and has a bump on it. And he's kind of sensitive about the fact my dad is much more handsome than he is. He was going on about not being able to meet women and that he wanted a girlfriend. He used go on about that a lot and my dad always tried to reassure him. He said he didn't think he was ever going to meet a woman. I said " of course you wont. Your fat, your flabby and you don't have a trace of a muscle. Your nose is also messed up. No woman would want you. I don't know how you can be my dad's brother and be so ugly. Get used to the idea of dying alone."  That really had an effect on him. He actually looked like he might cry. My dad sent me to my room. After my uncle left he told me that what I had said was awful and cruel. He said he knew I didn't like my uncle but I had gone too far attacking his weight and appearance and that he never wanted to hear that kind of thing from me again.

It was cruel and I'm not proud of it. But my uncle has been in really mean to me since I was little. It just sort of came out before I could stop it. But that's the cruel thing I did to him.

Did you believe it's not possible to feel that you're some other when the obvious 'facts' of your body tell you otherwise?
Only that! (Well, that's more than enough already I guess)
I didn't know what a transsexual was but I invalidated my own experiences with science for some time in the past.   
I am someone driven by facts and always was a science nerd and since I didn't have a clue about the condition the fact that I thought and experienced things as a man and saw myself as male what stood in direct contradiction to my anatomy was something that made me think that there was something wrong with me and that this was just factually false and I should dismiss it and if I ever told someone they would deem me insane (did not think that I was though) and it would be my ticket straight into a psychiatric ward.
Due to that I wanted to shove it away from me as far as possible because I didn't want to be seen as a nutcase or someone who didn't understand anatomical facts.
Even though the severe body dysphoria made it impossible to ignore as I wasn't able to shove that away ever!


I got saved from invalidating myself by a neurological, scientific article about the transsexual condition and that not only made me understand what a transsexual was and made me relate, it also made me able to accept being transsexual because there was scientific evidence for it. Finally the evidence and the terminology I had needed and not had had all that time.

No, I never considered myself to be mentally ill.  I did, at one time think that I might be a pervert, dressing in women's clothes.  But I realized that that was just a meaningless label, that what mattered was that I wasn't hurting anyone.

Now of course, I don't even think that I was a pervert.  I was just trying to be myself.

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 22, 2017, 05:25:25 PM
Sorry to hear that! You are sane, though  .

Thank you it's taken a long time for me to accept I am sane and trans.  If I sought counseling and therapy early on, things would have been easier.  I hid and fought everything even from myself.  Honestly that was probably the source of my feeling less sane.   It's one of the reasons I'm such an advocate of gender therapists now.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 22, 2017, 06:17:17 PM
I pretty much destroyed his self confidence.  My uncle has always had problems with his weight. My dad got him into going to the gym but at the time he was a bit overweight. His nose was also badly broken when he was a teenager and it's crooked and has a bump on it. And he's kind of sensitive about the fact my dad is much more handsome than he is. He was going on about not being able to meet women and that he wanted a girlfriend. He used go on about that a lot and my dad always tried to reassure him. He said he didn't think he was ever going to meet a woman. I said " of course you wont. Your fat, your flabby and you don't have a trace of a muscle. Your nose is also messed up. No woman would want you. I don't know how you can be my dad's brother and be so ugly. Get used to the idea of dying alone."  That really had an effect on him. He actually looked like he might cry. My dad sent me to my room. After my uncle left he told me that what I had said was awful and cruel. He said he knew I didn't like my uncle but I had gone too far attacking his weight and appearance and that he never wanted to hear that kind of thing from me again.

It was cruel and I'm not proud of it. But my uncle has been in really mean to me since I was little. It just sort of came out before I could stop it. But that's the cruel thing I did to him.

Oh wow hopefully he did something to change his life since? I had my moments with one of my uncles too. Once when he was drunk and another time when he was crashing on our couch

Anyway to answer the topic. Yes everyday I feel mentally ill with the emotional changes on hrt. I'm waiting until january to find a counselor to talk to because I'm a very sad and lonely girl lately. Even though I know I shouldn't be! Suppressing being trans for so long has really caught up to me. And hrt is making me think some crazy things [emoji17]

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I knew something serious was going on but I didn't have a name for it until high school.itjust the way Ive been all my life

It's crossed my mind, but my therapist says no. The majority of problems stem from living in an unaccepting culture. The social stresses from this, having to hide it, lie, basically live like some undercover agent have negative consequences. We aren't normal in the sense of being common, but we are normal in the sense of being an expression of a human being. The vast majority of people never question their indoctrination and what they believe. They fall back on the facile understandings of gender and sex and often use religion to justify their ignorance. Then there are those that are just plain stupid. The collective, the tribe , is the cause of so many problems we have in this world. Until we get over ourselves as a race and stop musterbating, it isn't going to change.


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Quote from: Gertrude on December 22, 2017, 06:52:12 PM
It's crossed my mind, but my therapist says no. The majority of problems stem from living in an unaccepting culture. The social stresses from this, having to hide it, lie, basically live like some undercover agent have negative consequences. We aren't normal in the sense of being common, but we are normal in the sense of being an expression of a human being. The vast majority of people never question their indoctrination and what they believe. They fall back on the facile understandings of gender and sex and often use religion to justify their ignorance. Then there are those that are just plain stupid. The collective, the tribe , is the cause of so many problems we have in this world. Until we get over ourselves as a race and stop musterbating, it isn't going to change.


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I thought I was weak to wait until I'm living on my own and away from family to take on being trans. But I think by nature I thrive on a challenge. Like I want to prove to myself and everyone the person I am. What you said hit home for me [emoji4]

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Quote from: Julia1996 on December 22, 2017, 06:17:17 PM
I pretty much destroyed his self confidence.  My uncle has always had problems with his weight. My dad got him into going to the gym but at the time he was a bit overweight. His nose was also badly broken when he was a teenager and it's crooked and has a bump on it. And he's kind of sensitive about the fact my dad is much more handsome than he is. He was going on about not being able to meet women and that he wanted a girlfriend. He used go on about that a lot and my dad always tried to reassure him. He said he didn't think he was ever going to meet a woman. I said " of course you wont. Your fat, your flabby and you don't have a trace of a muscle. Your nose is also messed up. No woman would want you. I don't know how you can be my dad's brother and be so ugly. Get used to the idea of dying alone."  That really had an effect on him. He actually looked like he might cry. My dad sent me to my room. After my uncle left he told me that what I had said was awful and cruel. He said he knew I didn't like my uncle but I had gone too far attacking his weight and appearance and that he never wanted to hear that kind of thing from me again.

It was cruel and I'm not proud of it. But my uncle has been in really mean to me since I was little. It just sort of came out before I could stop it. But that's the cruel thing I did to him.

Yeah - and what about the things he used to say about you?!? Not cruel, huh?? Considering all the things he has said of you I don't think you should feel sorry for him, at all! I thought the thing was way crueler than that! You just acknowledged some facts aloud that everyone already knew,  . I don't feel sorry for your uncle a bit! I feel sorry for YOU!!! For having to be around such a scumbag all your life! For real,  ! He really was asking for it, I can assure you.

Quote from: dist123 on December 22, 2017, 06:56:37 PM

I thought I was weak to wait until I'm living on my own and away from family to take on being trans. But I think by nature I thrive on a challenge. Like I want to prove to myself and everyone the person I am. What you said hit home for me [emoji4]

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I totally get that feeling of thinking your weak, i feel it now even, sometimes i can tell myself im too strong to let it out/let her out ie not weak

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 22, 2017, 07:04:16 PM
I totally get that feeling of thinking your weak, i feel it now even, sometimes i can tell myself im too strong to let it out/let her out ie not weak

Yes!! I totally relate it's stubborness and I feel it's silly now. I so badly didn't want to be "weak" or whatever that means but I get my thinking now. It's hard being a girl! I feel vulernable I wanna run back to safety...

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