Thanks, Miss Moni - that was a great answer,  !

Quote from: HappyMoni on December 16, 2017, 11:30:39 PM
Guys hate their own vulnerability.

So true! This is what I hate the most. I don't want to appear weak & I wanna take care of things myself, without anyone's help. That mindset hasn't worked out that well so far in my life, though...
Still thinking about deleting that post.... You know which one I'm talking about.......
For the first time I tried to be open here, though. So far the results have been good  !
You know what, I'm starting to feel a little embarrassed that you keep calling me Mr. Wolf all the time - but actually that does make me feel so damn good, so I can't complain, really  ! Nor do I want to! I've been called that here more than in my whole life so far, I think. This forum really does make me forget about my current existence. Being in here has made so damn good to my self-esteem. I'm just like a completely different person than when I signed in. I'm at peace, now! I really am! And more and more by each day.

So, thanks again,  . To you all! And especially to you, miss Money,  ! (Sorry  !)

A few articles I just googled:
https://lonerwolf.com/vulnerability/
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-being-vulnerable-can-expand-your-world/

Great answer Moni!  And I love your new avatar!

I think it all comes to differences in size and childbirth. And social programming coming from those two factors.

Men were always expendable (as a non-child-bearers), a few strong men is enough to repopulate a village after the war, even older ones can do it. Men are bigger and stronger in general - therefore from early on each society trains boys to be more physical and risk-taking, and protects girls.

I don't know what would it feel to grow up as a girl from the ground up. Not being expected to fight in school yard against other boys that are bigger and stronger than you. Not being bullied because you spend time doing your homework, learning computer programming, reading books and playing chess. At the same time, I had many privileges, and was allowed many freedoms, I wouldn't get if I grow up a girl.

I often wonder myself, what does being a woman (born and raised that way) feel like? Being more insecure? Being more perceptive to other people? Being less self-centered and stubborn? 


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Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 16, 2017, 11:57:45 PM
Thanks, Miss Moni - that was a great answer,  !
So true! This is what I hate the most. I don't want to appear weak & I wanna take care of things myself, without anyone's help. That mindset hasn't worked out that well so far in my life, though...
Still thinking about deleting that post.... You know which one I'm talking about.......
For the first time I tried to be open here, though. So far the results have been good  !
You know what, I'm starting to feel a little embarrassed that you keep calling me Mr. Wolf all the time - but actually that does make me feel so damn good, so I can't complain, really  ! Nor do I want to! I've been called that here more than in my whole life so far, I think. This forum really does make me forget about my current existence. Being in here has made so damn good to my self-esteem. I'm just like a completely different person than when I signed in. I'm at peace, now! I really am! And more and more by each day.

So, thanks again,  . To you all! And especially to you, miss Money,  ! (Sorry  !)

A few articles I just googled:
https://lonerwolf.com/vulnerability/
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-being-vulnerable-can-expand-your-world/

I want to thank you for creating this post, Wolf. What started out as a reply to your question turned into a deeper understanding of what I am experiencing in my life for me and my partner. I kind of stumbled into this through my post, but it has me really looking at vulnerability and a better understanding of what is transition and what is 'being' (the woman I am and will become.) I have seen so many trans folks worry that they don't think they feel like they should if they really are the opposite gender from their birth. It just strikes me now as a thought process that causes fear and doubt when truly what they really should focus on is patience. "Maybe I am not really a ____ because I don't feel like a ______now!" For many people, they are trying to fit a standard that is impossible at the early part of a transition. So much anxiety could be avoided for so many if we accepted that our sense of self will evolve with transition. You can be legitimate in your feelings/desires even if you feel like a 'transitioner' for a while. It is so logical and yet we don't allow ourselves time to get there. (Trans folk, give yourself a break!)
As for the name, I wrestled with it a bit. I wanted to acknowledge to you that I see you as the guy you are, hence Mr. Wolf. I did not want to seem over the top either as it is not a caricature. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I asked for your name not thinking you would give your actual name. Folks here sometimes pick names to go by that they never intend to use. If you said you were Tom, then I would call you Tom and you would know I am talking to you, a woman to guy, without the 'Mr." Anyway I'll call you Wolf unless you say different. I am so glad you are finding the peace that you describe. I like that you are feeling better. You deserve to. It is my privilege to talk with you.

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 17, 2017, 06:40:02 AM
Great answer Moni!  And I love your new avatar!

Thank Kathy, but I changed it to a picture without the shades. I thought it was more open to my soul. lol Oh, I actually had two dilators behind my back as I was taking some smart*$$ pictures that day. I didn't want to wake up the 'mods' by posting one of those. Heehee! Hope you are well Sweetie!
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on December 17, 2017, 10:18:19 AM
As for the name, I wrestled with it a bit. I wanted to acknowledge to you that I see you as the guy you are, hence Mr. Wolf. I did not want to seem over the top either as it is not a caricature. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I asked for your name not thinking you would give your actual name. Folks here sometimes pick names to go by that they never intend to use. If you said you were Tom, then I would call you Tom and you would know I am talking to you, a woman to guy, without the 'Mr." Anyway I'll call you Wolf unless you say different. I am so glad you are finding the peace that you describe. I like that you are feeling better. You deserve to. It is my privilege to talk with you.

Oh, thanks so much again  ! And no, you got me wrong, by all means call me Mr. Wolf or whatever! It does really make me feel fantastic (being called that). I just don't want to appear as pathetic or being pitied on... It's not like I need some special treatment here or anything!

Plus I called you Miss just to make you happy too,  ! Didn't mean to be ironic or anything. I just thought you might need some feeling good as well,  . If you don't like some things I call you, by all means say so! And I'll stop immediately,  .

As for my name... For real, I don't know what to call myself either, in real life! I'm having some naming issues....... I thought I picked a new name but couldn't have it etc. etc. You might have missed that post I ranted about it (I already deleted it). But actually I do like Wolf coz it's actually a kind of nickname I go by in real life,  . So Mr. Wolf or Wolfie is actually what I like,  !

So you didn't make me feel uncomfortable or anything! Quite the contrary,  ! I jump from joy each time someone calls me Mr., he, dude, man, 'you guys' etc... as pathetic as it sounds,  !

I'm feeling HUGE peace!!! Started when I came here. And getting stronger by the minute,  . I already feel as if I somehow got on T already. I've been having this angry inner feeling of my skin being backwards on me & crawling for years. Just the general nastiness of the wrongness of this body. And as I don't pass (not the way I'd like, at least - maybe people are confused to some extent), I've been really feeling like ->-bleeped-<-. Like no outside person is able the see the true me. So, just being seen as that even if just online, feels HUGE. I feel like I'm sane again. And ready to start all over. Being recognized here & being able to openly express myself & how I feel about myself/my body without that constant embarrassment of my looks makes me forget. I've been feeling I'm going insane for not being recognized/treated as myself, ever  . Hence the immense doubts & panic.

And you guys here are making me see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that there IS an end to that tunnel, after all  !

But the most wonderful thing is just being 'seen'. And believed by others. I've been feeling absolutely no one can believe me & take for real what I feel.

Like, I know I'm a guy inside my head - but that's it. Absolutely no one can see that. And that's a one sucky feeling that leads to that experience of your skin crawling inside out on you. Just a lot of anger inside.

And thanks to you guys here, I feel as good as if I'd been totally passing for a month  ! All that nastiness - gone. I feel like total peace & as if I was already on T or had transitioned. That's why I'm addicted to this forum... 

With you guys here I feel like I'm this one, sociable, outgoing, happy person! But I can't stand with not being seen as myself in real life. In real life I feel I'm not even allowed to say out loud I'm a man because of this loathesome appearance. So, been having lots of resentment & I have this underlying sulkiness that I'm not like other cis guys. But now I just feel peace  .

And that there's an easy way out, after all. T.

So, if you wanna continue to make my day, please by all means call me Mr. Wolf,  !

Plus I continue to write them down,  . Every single one.
So by calling me that it feels like you are speaking straight to my soul.

I'm happy that you are getting the recognition as the guy you are Sir wolf. It doesn't matter what genitals you were born with, it doesn't matter how the public sees you and it doesn't matter what gender you present as, here you will always be treated as your true self.

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 17, 2017, 11:51:33 AM
I'm happy that you are getting the recognition as the guy you are Sir wolf. It doesn't matter what genitals you were born with, it doesn't matter how the public sees you and it doesn't matter what gender you present as, here you will always be treated as your true self.

Oh, thanks Julia  ! You all here are so god damn nice to me!!!

I'm just sinking more & more into this ignorant blissful peace... 

For me I don't know what it feels like to be a woman or a man. I have no contrast, I only know how I personally feel (Descartes style) and am not even entirely sure there is a single experience of being male or female at all. In my case, what I've felt my entire life as a "man" has felt wrong and uncomfortable. My forays into womanhood (clothes, the emotional excitement of starting HRT) have felt the exact opposite. Even then, I don't know that the former is the feeling of being a man or the latter a feeling of being a woman. But I know I damn sure want to be a woman.

Quote from: TonyaW on December 16, 2017, 08:00:58 AM

Yes, normal. 

Beyond that, answer is different for every woman. 




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That it is TonyaW. Like Vicktor's question about the length of a string what either being male or female means to a particular person is relevant though that person. But there is one constant though and that is to be true to yourself and embracing it. Then you can sort of be more open about it without feeling shame. That sounds messed up but if someone has a problem about it then that is their problem and not yours. If they want to discriminate, hurt you or end your life over it then that is a crime.

Look being trans is always going to be hard. I hear that it is easier now than when I was growing up and that is true for me and others it seems. but for those just realizing it, it is just as hard on them as it was for me because the biggest thing you have to overcome is your own psyche. It sux being told constantly that you can't act this way or that way because you were born a boy or girl. But when someone such as parents, in my case, "Screw it! Do what you want to do." then you can be who you are. OMG I fought them hard for long hair, keeping my little boobs, piercing both of my ears and so on. My mom and dad wanted me to take T for my little boobs and if that didn't work then surgery. My Grandma stepped in, Bless her heart, and took my side. My Aunts also took my side. I am actually lucky in that aspect because I knew if my mom and dad kicked me out then I had a grandma and two aunts that would take me in. But the hardest thing was accepting it on my own part and facing all the other BS that would come my way. But the BS wasn't near the level as it was for me coming to terms about it myself. I am pretty sure that that part will never get easier until we have more than two sexually identified genders by what genitalia is between the legs.

But at the risk of sounding spiritual, maybe it is time we stopped focusing so much on our physical bodies and start realizing who we really are internally. Not by religious doctrines but more by where we are in the point of human evolution and how we are expanding more by self realization, psychologically and even neurologically. I mean the brain evolves just like the body and that allows for deeper and deeper psychology and self realization.

So in relation to what it feels like to be a woman OP, what does it feel like? No one reply will ever be right for you. Either you are or you are not. It is not a conscious decision or anything that can be forced so just asking the question you probably already know the answer and that answer comes from you. I can tell you how it feels to me and that is pretty much normal and natural. Those times that I tried to be a guy is what felt forced and faked.

I generally avoid these subjects like the plague, because there are often stereotypes thrown around like confetti at a wedding. And while something may apply to one, it doesn't apply to all. And it's something that, if you asked a hundred different women, you'd get a hundred different answers.

But I understand the intent behind your question, and the reason you asked it. Based on your own post. I know sometimes it's a thing people do to validate themselves based on their differences to people who are asked the opposite question. To allow oneself to get the feeling of "Well I'm not like that, so I must be this".

I will answer your question though, in a sense. To ask me what it feels like to be a woman is to ask me what it feels like to be me. And my answer to that is simply... it feels like being me. It feels like my mind is unclouded by doubt. It feels like I don't have to ask myself that question. It feels like... the absence of feeling. Or analyzing. Of being at peace.

Humans are funny creatures. We measure ourselves often against other people. We look at who they are, and who they are not, to determine who WE are and are not. If there's one thing I've learned in all the time I've been trawling through my head trying to make sense of everything it's that this approach isn't always the best way. If you believe yourself to be a woman because you enjoy feminine pursuits, or have what is considered feminine attributes... and vice versa, then the first time you come across someone who isn't like that... it throws your whole sense of self into question. I've seen it happen. I've seen people feeling threatened by those who enjoy activities, or have attributes which don't conform to their own.

What I would say to you... to all of you... is to measure yourself by how you feel. When you're addressed by your preferred pronouns... when you're seen as your true gender... and it makes you feel RIGHT, and at peace... then take that as the sign that THIS is what it means to be YOU. You don't need to justify it by conforming to a set of standards. We all know cis people who don't, so why should you have to? Just be yourself. If you are who you are then that's all there is to it. If you feel comfortable and happy and like you finally don't have it playing on your mind when you're treated as such... then what else do you need?

Quote from: Sephirah on December 18, 2017, 04:42:06 PM
What I would say to you... to all of you... is to measure yourself by how you feel. When you're addressed by your preferred pronouns... when you're seen as your true gender... and it makes you feel RIGHT, and at peace... then take that as the sign that THIS is what it means to be YOU. You don't need to justify it by conforming to a set of standards. We all know cis people who don't, so why should you have to? Just be yourself. If you are who you are then that's all there is to it. If you feel comfortable and happy and like you finally don't have it playing on your mind when you're treated as such... then what else do you need?

Great answer! Though I did mean this question more jokingly than seriously,  . Haha, I know people just 'feel' themselves/whatever  ! By all means I don't mean that certain - or any - attributes or characteristics or interests or whatever makes anyone a 'man' or 'woman' or anything,  ! Just clarifying here.

I more like meant... well... like... What being a woman feels like specificly to you! (Maybe I should've added that 'to you' at the end, then  .)

Like I said in the first post - of course I find it hard to describe it also! I just 'know'. But I was trying to give some examples what it means to me or how I experience it or... ? Something like that!

Just clarifying that no one is left with the wrong impression,  ! This was meant to be somewhat lighthearted if anything.

But I understand it's almost impossible to describe, of course. There have been great responses, though!

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 18, 2017, 04:56:23 PM
Great answer! Though I did mean this question more jokingly than seriously,  . Haha, I know people just 'feel' themselves/whatever  ! By all means I don't mean that certain - or any - attributes or characteristics or interests or whatever makes anyone a 'man' or 'woman' or anything,  ! Just clarifying here.

I more like meant... well... like... What being a woman feels like specificly to you! (Maybe I should've added that 'to you' at the end, then  .)

Like I said in the first post - of course I find it hard to describe it also! I just 'know'. But I was trying to give some examples what it means to me or how I experience it or... ? Something like that!

Just clarifying that no one is left with the wrong impression,  ! This was meant to be somewhat lighthearted if anything.

But I understand it's almost impossible to describe, of course. There have been great responses, though!

Aha, I see.

Well, in that spirit... it means being called a b**ch when I'm sarcastic to someone. Something which happens far more frequently than it used to, haha.

My story started when I was little and noticing there was a difference. I didn't like my shirt off[still don't], didn't like to fight, didn't like to get dirty[I did lay in a mud hole one time, like a spa!]. But what does it feel like to be a woman? I care about others, are they happy or sad or do they hurt, I care. When I see something sad I cry, When I'm happy I cry! Quite a bit of crying huh! To be clear I've been stuck living in 'man mode' until earlier this year but now I'm free! And that's another part of it to, freedom. I've had no hormones or surgeries but still pass sometimes, I've always known I'm a girl and living in a mans world had to learn to adapt. A medical problem 3 yrs ago killed the 'boys' and finally set me free. It's that freedom to be soft and vulnerable and nice and kind and friendly and not being seen as weak because for it. I think a lot of trans girls think that what  they're feeling is the estrogen working but it's the spiro' working. Since my 'boys' died all the feelings that have been suppressed or confused have been unleashed! So if you ever start on T your in for a ride! You'll really let your 'guy' out and be taken for a guy much more often[except for breasts, that's a problem for both of us! You some, me none!]. That's some of what it feels like to me. What a lot of us trans girls would love to know is what it feels like to give birth and be a mother [crying again...]. So even we don't get the whole picture either and some CIS women don't, my cousin will never have kids, and that's Very important to a woman. Hope this helps you some! Be Brave and Be You!!!!!

Quote from: Dani2118 on December 18, 2017, 07:19:11 PM
Hope this helps you some! Be Brave and Be You!!!!!

Thanks  !!!

1. As the body of woman that desired being hold by the hand, being touched, kissed, while enjoying the feeling of being loved with the whispering of sweet words in her ears.
2. Especially enjoying romantic songs from men that contain words of longing, love and care for her, or describing how beautiful or special she is.
3. More open to initiate or accept friendship from both men and women, and being friendly and caring to them naturally.
4. More font of small and cute animals and like to care for them like their mother.
5. Become physically weaker and easily suffered from tireness after intensive physical activity.
6. Emotionally like to be protected/supported, and naturally love the men that protect them from whatever difficulty or danger, or supporting them, keeping them healthy and safe.
7. Like indoor activities, rather than outdoor.
8. Having a receptive personality, appearing as a quiet person but receptive.

Quote from: Jacelyn on December 25, 2017, 09:15:00 PM
1. As the body of woman that desired being hold by the hand, being touched, kissed, while enjoying the feeling of being loved with the whispering of sweet words in her ears.
2. Especially enjoying romantic songs from men that contain words of longing, love and care for her, or describing how beautiful or special she is.
3. More open to initiate or accept friendship from both men and women, and being friendly and caring to them naturally.
4. More font of small and cute animals and like to care for them like their mother.
5. Become physically weaker and easily suffered from tireness after intensive physical activity.
6. Emotionally like to be protected/supported, and naturally love the men that protect them from whatever difficulty or danger, or supporting them, keeping them healthy and safe.
7. Like indoor activities, rather than outdoor.
8. Having a receptive personality, appearing as a quiet person but receptive.

That was cute  ! Awesome!!!

Like God finally answered my prayers. I smile more, I fix my hair, I feel compassion, I appreciate hugs and kisses. I am more concerned about people than sports and cars and sex. As I get more comfortable in my own skin I continue to be in awe of all those that preceded me. I wish I had the courage of Dena, way back when.  I find the miracle of birth as something I wish I could experience. I am finding new respect for the young people going through this. If I could give some advice. Don't settle. With being excluded, Working low paying dead end jobs. Get an education, or a skill. Never put yourself down for discovering who you are. Never lie to yourself. Find a support group. Share your experiences. Never stop believing in yourself. Remind those that believe we are abominations that God created us, if their book is right. You can't possibly love someone else if you don't first love yourself.

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 14, 2017, 10:47:36 PM
What does it feel like to be a woman?

Define "woman."

Quote from: Natsuki Kuga on December 25, 2017, 09:53:13 PM

Define "woman."

It's a lot different than just being a sex object. Putting on a tight dress, make-up and stiletto's. To me it is an innate desire to nurture. be kind, love unconditionally. As a guy. I could not do that, because it didn't seem manly.