Hi everyone. Earlier today I was at Walmart with my dad. We were in the pet aisle and this very pretty woman started talking to my dad and got flirty. Finally she tried to give him her number. He said he was flattered but he was married. I started to add separated but he gave me his " don't even open your mouth" look. I totally can't believe he did that. My mom has a boyfriend already and it's fair enough for my dad to have a girlfriend. I asked him why he didn't take her number. He said because she was about 25 at the most. ANNNNDD? I asked him so what and he said she was way too young for him and it would be creepy to date someone that young. It's not like he's 80 or something,  he's 39.  He also said young girls could be flighty and annoying and that he already had me for that. Funny guy. He needs to do stand up. This isn't the first time this has happened either. I've seen him checking out pretty women so I don't understand why he doesn't get a girlfriend.

I'm pretty sure my dad totally has no game with women so I suggested he let me make him a profile on OKC or POF. He didn't want anything to do with that idea. I don't understand his reluctance. He's handsome and muscular and I see women check him out all the time. So then I said if he didn't want a relationship right now he should get a FWB to relieve his sexual tensions. He put his hand on my lips and told me he was not having that conversation with me. The idea of it is kind of gross but it's not like I don't know he has sex. Tyler and I wouldn't be here othetherwise. Then he told me he didn't need dating advice from his 19 year old daughter.  Well! Try to help some people!  What's the male equivalent to an old maid?

Julia  One of my lovers was 13 years younger than me. An ex cheerleader and homecoming queen, But it ended after we discovered we had nothing in common. I like Rock and techno.  She liked rap. My friends said I was robbing the cradle. As is my custom we remain friends and speak often. Also now she has 7 children. I can imagine how much dysphoria I would have on that kind of schedule.  Let your Pop's make his own choices. When the time comes, make him feel  he has done the right thing. First you have to remind yourself where you are. Walmart? How about Nordstrom? I met my current wife while on the rebound from my first wife. She could never rise to the level of my Wen and I was always comparing. As a result I could never treat her the way she deserved. Luckily she did not toss me aside as she easily could have done. Since I started HRT she has given me all the support I could ask for. Dad will do the right thing when the time comes.

Think of your father as a selective shopper. Between his ex wife and his profession he has become a better judge of character and before he starts something else, he is going to select very carefully. My mother has been a widow for around 25 years now and her reasons for not entering another relationship is because she is unable to find anybody that meets her standards. I think that because she married relatively young, she may also be enjoying the freedom of not answering to another person. I don't encourage or discourage my mother when it comes to this. It's her decision to make and not mine.

A lot of guys of all ages are getting cautious about dating these days, for various reasons.

There are plenty of reasons your dad might not be interested in someone that much younger. Gold diggers are just one of them. One man I dated decided to remain single after a woman he dated borrowed his car and his debit card for a week, only returning it after he told her mother he was going to report it stolen and press charges. By then, he was flat broke. Some women will use all the charm in the world to get what they want and (being a cop) he may have seen right through her.

There are plenty of reasons why your dad might not be interested in dating that woman, women like her, or even any women.  Maybe there was something about her he didn't like.  The mismatch in ages is a very valid concern: people of similar ages are more likely to have similar life experiences and therefore similar outlooks on life.  Or maybe he just doesn't want to date again.  Maybe right now; maybe never.

All of those are valid.  Just like you have to be yourself, and you need others around you to respect that, he needs to be himself, however he defines that, and those around him need to respect that.

It's okay to joke around a little bit about a situation like that, but as soon as he shows that he is not comfortable, it's time to back off.

<facepalm>

I'm officially old enough to be Julia's parent.


But seriously, young and pretty isn't everything.  Also when I was freshly divorced dating wasn't a priority for me either.

That could be a turn off to some men or women. You don't know your dad's romance style he may like a chase! I'm not saying gender identity or expression decides this though. [emoji4] who knows what does

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can imagine why your dad's being cautious to get back into dating. I'm sure there was a time once he thought your mum was the one for him and from reading your posts; toxic is understatement to describe her.

I don't think the age gap between your dad and the woman was so bad but there's only a 6 year age gap between  you and her. You could have been sisters.

Not everyone has a burning need to be part of a couple. Some people are very happy single.

I'm gonna turn this convo around and ask you, Julia, why you feel so strongly about whether your dad dates or not?

Quote from: kelly_aus on December 28, 2017, 04:57:11 PM
Not everyone has a burning need to be part of a couple. Some people are very happy single.

I'm gonna turn this convo around and ask you, Julia, why you feel so strongly about whether your dad dates or not?

Part of it's because I don't ever see him having fun. He works, goes to the gym and comes home. I would like to see him have fun once in a while. I'm going to be honest, another reason is because if he got a girlfriend my mom would find out and it would drive her nuts even though she has a boyfriend.