Did your genitals bother you before puberty? Or was it something you didn't notice?

Did you try to stand to pee or take some nail clippers or... somehow fix the problem yourself?

What were your first memories/inclinations concerning this? And I'm talking about strictly childhood here!

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Well, my downstairs didn't bother me as such. I don't remember feeling there was something wrong with it. But - I had a fixation on penises and used to draw them on every male character to show the world they were males and males only... ! I used to fantasize about having one in bed before falling asleep... And once when I was 5 I ran around the house naked chanting: 'I have a willy! I have a willy!' Let's just say I was obsessed about the concept of penis in general..... But I can't say I was disgusted by my parts. But in retrospect it does seem I had a strong preference for other parts..... !

Bother, no, inconvenient, yes.
Jammed in a zipper regularly, yes.
Had to have button flies, yes.
Pee standing up - only in sheer desperation when there wasn't a bathroom nearby... yes
Practice tucking, yes....

Oh well denial is a strong place to be, and hindsight is a wonderful thing, anyone would think my juvenile brain was completely denying any knowledge of my outie.


Rowan

Short answer - NO, not really

Longer more confusing answer - IM NOT Sure..... yes and no i guess, ive always felt sitting down to pee more appropriate for me i kind of learned to be cool with doing it the male way i guess although not really

Also it always feels awkward putting on underpants with it, i guess ive got use to it tho

I was just as disgusted with them then as I am now.

I used to have this little fish bath toy that I would suck water into, put it in my pants, and pretend to pee standing up at the toilet.  I would proudly proclaim to my dad, that I could do so, but he ignored me.

Back then, I also thought of a plan to make my junk into a penis (move this bit here, move that bit there), which is surprisingly known as a metoidioplasty, lol.

Didn't bother me,  but I never formed any real relationship with it at all.

I think for most guys, their penis is a big thing to them, I felt at best indifferent to it,  always have and still do.

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No because I haven't been able to do much about it. Now that I officially started transitioning I'm focusing on my face and whole body. It's been out of mind but I feel like at some point it's going to be a problem for me. I already think about it that having a vagina would be so much better..

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Yeah, they bothered me.

But since there's not much to technically cut off really it didn't go that far. I thought about it though. I looked around to see if we had some surgical stuff in the house (we did have scalpels) and things to sew up with but I would come back to the idea of wound infection and that if that happened I'd have had to explain what the hell I'd done not just to my parents but the dreaded medical practitioners. I didn't want them to think I was nuts (I'd attempted to explain to my parents I was depressed and needed some kind of help and they brushed it off. I guess if I had done something they might have taken me seriously... but I just didn't think I'd get that lucky).

My first memories were

a) how gross it all seemed down there
b) that I didn't like any of it, and I hated even having to touch it to wash it, so I'd literally have to think about something else and hum a dumb song or something while doing that to distract myself
c) was even worse as a young kid when my grandma wanted to bath me, Jeez, I was EXTREMELY self conscious while naked for a young kid. She would have to fight me to get me into the bath. My parents knew about this and let me bath myself because I was so awkward about other people being around.
d) I think I remember something about rolled up socks but it's vague
e) I remember there was this girl I used to hang out with when we were kids, we'd mess around sometimes in slightly sexual games. Not actually sexual but the curiosity was there. I'd always want to take the "male" role
f) I remember that was a bit difficult though because I also had a thing for wanting to keep my clothes on
g) I remember figuring out what you could do with it all down there early on, and then just feeling completely disgusted and wishing there was "nothing there" rather than what was there.

Interesting reading this to learn other people's experiences with GD. Honesty never occurred to me as a child to give my body much notice. Only when puberty hit did I absolutely not like it.

Hi, Purple Wolf

Some of your questions really make me think of things I rarely do.

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 28, 2017, 12:39:21 AM
Did your genitals bother you before puberty? Or was it something you didn't notice?

Yes and no. As I've mentioned elsewhere I was a fairly easy child, so when I was told I was a boy I believed/accepted/resigned myself to what I was told although I did want to be a girl. I remember learning to pee standing up because it seemed to make my parents happy. It was a convenient skill that I originally had no interest in.

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 28, 2017, 12:39:21 AM
Did you try to stand to pee or take some nail clippers or... somehow fix the problem yourself?

Since I liked my sisters' neat look better, I tried to figure out how I could smooth out the area by e.g. tucking everything inside and fixing it there with tape. I cried when my parents bought me my first boys' underwear because when they explained the function of the front opening/overlap, I hated the thought of using it to pull something out. I hated how the very fact of using it emphasized the fact that I was a boy. I don't really remember using the said function more than once or twice after it was shown to me.

Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 28, 2017, 12:39:21 AM
What were your first memories/inclinations concerning this? And I'm talking about strictly childhood here!

I was about four when the underwear story took place, and in elementary school when I earnestly tried to make what stood out invisible.

Yes. They bothered me a lot! I realized I had the same parts my brother had and it upset me a lot. I didn't want them and I hoped they would eventually fall off. I sat down to pee from the start. My dad didn't understand why I didn't want to stand up. He would tell me I was lucky that I could pee standing up and that I only had to sit to do number 2. I absolutely hated being naked from a young age. My dad didn't understand that either. I'm not sure how old I was at the time but I do remember once at the Dr when he tried to examine my boy parts and I totally freaked out had a huge tantrum and kicked the Dr in the chest. My dad was so mad at me. I remember him telling me I was lucky he didn't spank his kids because I deserved a spanking for that.

When I was 6-7 years old I could bathe myself but my dad would wash my hair, I guess he thought I wouldn't wash it well enough or I would get shampoo in my eyes. I always fought him and would have a fit over it. Finally he got exasperated with me and told me if I didn't stop fighting him every time he washed my hair he would give me a buzzcut and then washing my hair wouldn't be a concern anymore. He wouldn't really have done it but after he said that I stopped fighting. I've always hated being naked in front of anyone.

When I started puberty "it" started waking up. I remember once at school I had a spontaneous hard on and everyone laughed. I was beyond mortified! After that I started a crude form of tucking so that would never happen again. Thank god I never had to do gym class. That spared me from being in a guys locker room and having to change clothes. Later when I started hooking up with guys I never let them see my boyparts and I most certainly never let anyone touch it. A couple of guys found that really weird but since I was willing to give them oral they didn't much care. After I met Tristan I was really happy that he had zero interest in my boyparts and didn't even want to see it. If he had been interested in that it would have been a total turn off for me and I would have dumped him.

The first thing that came into my mind after my SRS was scheduled was that I hoped they knocked me out before they put me in stirrups. The thought of being that exposed made my skin crawl. The thought of the presurgical exam freaks me out a little also. I'm also glad the surgeon doesn't require genital electrolyss. I couldn't do it. There's just no way I could have someone doing things down there. Just no. Ewww.

Nothing bothered me as a child. I always felt very... disconnected from my body. Like it wasn't mine and I was looking out through someone else's eyes. From as far back as I can remember. Literally like I was wearing a kid suit. I dunno. Puberty made me more aware, and more dysphoric, but before that... I always had the feeling I would wake up one day as someone else and feel like me. Connected to myself, and recognising myself. It was the strangest feeling. Like I was always waiting for something.

I still get prolonged feelings of this disconnection and it's rather disconcerting.

I really gave them no thought at all as a child.  I was bashful about changing at a public swimming pool, but other than that I paid no attention to them at all.

Part of that may have been that, at that age, I was not aware that there was another configuration.

Darn you Mr. Wolfie,

  Now you have gotten me thinking strange thoughts, asking myself strange questions. Questions I thought I knew the answers to.

    I wonder what Gravelly Lake Ponders about? (you have to have seen the sign)

Hugs,
  Laurie

This thread is interesting. I was not really bothered by my genitals like I am now, but some things I do relate to my gender identity.

It was very difficult to get me to stand and pee. It was like I didn't acknowledge I had a penis and therefore would not hold onto it to control it. I still pee hands free to this day.

There was troubles with getting me to clean it when I was very young, I refused to acknowledge I had a penis in some subconscious way. It was also very hard to get me to have a shower or bath because I hated getting naked.

I never got naked in any room with other people, I always used a single toilet cubicle if my undies needed to come off.

All of that happened long before I understood my gender identity.

i used to lay awake at night wishing there was a factory i could visit where a conveyor belt would change all my parts over. I always hated being a girl.

No, but since puberty I've found them to be pretty damn gross. I don't think I actually even looked at mine in a mirror until I was 20 and started having PCOS and endometriosis to deal with and regularly found myself getting poked and prodded by an OBGYN.

Yes off and on. I often wished and even prayed they would be gone when I woke up. As I feared pre-puberty I had serious thoughts of self castration. I even planned out what I needed. Having grown up on a farm I knew what was needed to castrate little pigs and how to do that so they didn't get any infections. The iodine, alcohol and scalpel were all stored in my grandparents house. I hated the very idea of becoming a man. I suppose after a while I just gave up and accepted my fate. The disinterest in my genitals never left. I would dream about being a normal girl. Even in mid teen puberty I imagined myself in the female role alot during, ahem, alone time.

Mostly indifferent. I can remember playing show and tell with a neighboring child. We both were about the same age ( 6 or 7) and were like whats that, do you have one. Mine looks like this.

The more I think about it the more I realize I;ve never really like my parts.
Not to say they havent given my some fun times but I find them so inconvenient.
Maybe thats why when I think about srs I'm not THAT nervous. I of course am but I'm more like screw it lets do this and leave all that stupid male culture behind, lol.

It has always embarrassed me for as long as I can remember. Growing up watching boys and teenage boys always talking about how big they are and all the fish stories they tell at that age. Well I guess men tell those stories too lol . But I just couldn't stand it, wanted it gone , dreamed about it being gone. I was always uncomfortable when exposed to those conversations would just politely smile and not say anything.
  Everyday now in transition is a day closer to something I have dreamed about since I was a child

I never hated having a penis. It was there, it was pulled on a hell of a lot of times. I've always sat down to pee.