I know how that feels. My father is incredibly self-absorbed. His only interest in me at this point is me doing things around his house that he can't do anymore (if I haven't mentioned it before, he had knee surgery, didn't do what he was told, had a 2nd surgery, still didn't do what he was told, and now barely gets around dragging himself on a walker).

ROAD TRIP!!! I so wish I could do that. I LOVE to drive. Maybe some day....

Quote from: Maddie86 on December 27, 2017, 05:11:20 PM

Anyways, this is your thread so I'll get back to you lol... Have you noticed any physical changes yet? Skin and hair less greasy?

Skin has dried up a lot (though was never particularly oily to begin with, it is now even far less) for sure. One particularly fun one I I noticed tonight! My sister yelled at my dad and step mother about the whole leaving people out thing (like I said, confirmed by third parties ), and so they made a point to do something tonight. The second I opened the door to the restaurant I was just hit by all of the smells around me. It didn't even occur to me what that might be because of at first, and I just thought "everything smells so amazing, I must be really hungry". I've always had a pretty good sense of smell (helps when cooking of course ), but this was just a level of individual clarity I've never had before on specific scents. I kept saying something about it ("everything smells so good tonight, I'm starving", "that basil is unusually strong", etc), and at one point my step mother just sort of smirked and compared it to when she was pregnant. That's when it dawned on me what was going on.

So while this reiterates my previous post a bit, I wanted to put up an official 2 week status update for the sake of my own OCD!

- Initial flatulence side effect has passed, thank freaking god.

- My back has been hurting a lot around kidneys, so I might not be drinking enough but I'm trying. Has been better the past few days though so maybe I've finally hit equilibrium.  As expected, I pee nonstop. Which... I kind of like because it plays into the "women pee more than men" cliche. Small victories, small victories...

- My skin was always soft (my sister has always been jealous ) but now it's softer, and significantly drier. My complexion has also cleared up a good bit, and I honestly believe it has had a positive effect on my psoriasis. My trouble areas that survived psoriasis meds have softened up more than anywhere else, and don't seem to be scaling up or getting raw like they were before. Which, damn, that alone would be worth the HRT. Shaving also seems a little smoother, and stubble is less visible. No clue why. Might just be acclimation regardless of HRT, might be because of skin effects.

- Sense of smell keeps flaring up. It's not constant, but it's there. Probably limited as well by the lack of any humidity in my room, and my sinuses are always dry and my mouth is always parched just due to environment.

- Psychological effects have been profound. I'm still not at the actual physiological hormone emotional effect phase, but just knowing I am on the HRT meds has had a positive impact. Outside of a few holiday-family related blips, I'm just overall jut relaxed and happy. I'm smiling more for sure.

- Non-HRT related addendum: Hair continues to grow in on scalp at a pretty great pace based on what my understanding of the common effects of Finast/minox are. More vellum hairs go terminal seemingly daily. While I still look very much like I'm going bald and hair is super thin, nonetheless it is as though the clock has already been rewound about 4-5 years. Some of that for sure is that not all of my hair loss was traditional MPB or genetics, and had to do with psoriasis damage to the scalp. I have a feeling that hair was mostly just being suppressed by purely mechanical damage and the medicines have helped to kick start it more readily since it didn't require the time for DHT to be suppressed to function properly. I'm excited to see what the added effect will be in the coming months with HRT at play as well. The goal continues to be shaving cost off of transplants, rather than full regrowth of course.

- Non-HRT related addendum #2: I havent weighed myself since my HRT start date, but I definitely haven't lost anything and feel like i probably put on some pounds. The food situation has been... ugh, too delicious. But whatever! I'm not one for new year's resolutions, but once family is gone and the holidays cease I can readily go back to maintaining my previous diet.

- Non-HRT related addendum #3: I am now out to my father, step-mother, sister, and younger brother. Left to go are my older brother, step-brother, and step-sister. I was planning to tell my older brother when he came down today for New Years, but they cancelled last minute so not really sure how to deal with that. I hate the idea of telling him over the phone. I'm telling step-brother after everyone else is gone so it's less hectic. Step-sister I'm not super close with and not sure how I'll go about that. Hrmm... maybe I'll go ahead and tell my step-brother today, then tell step-sister before they leave on Sunday. I want to tell him before her though for sure.

Tnx for sharing all your progress HRT and Non-HRT related. Little hiccups aside with your brother it all seems to be going quite smoothly! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Hey Ellie.

   Sounds like things are going well so far. YAY! My Mom had psoriasis all her life except for the last couple years when it disappeared for her. I'd love to recommend her cure to you, but I know chemotherapy is not a good solution for healthy people. I hope you never have a need for it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on December 29, 2017, 01:22:13 PM
Hey Ellie.

   Sounds like things are going well so far. YAY! My Mom had psoriasis all her life except for the last couple years when it disappeared for her. I'd love to recommend her cure to you, but I know chemotherapy is not a good solution for healthy people. I hope you never have a need for it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sorry to hear your mom had to go through that too, after seeing my own mother's effects from it I hope I never need it as well. (Which, I guess is sort of stating the obvious. Not many people sitting around thinking "I would love to do some chemo in the near future".)

I am on Humira fortunately, which is a biologic immune suppressant that keeps the excessive immune response at a minimum. It works really well, like 90-95% clearance, but unfortunately it only really works on plaque psoriasis reliably and I have pretty much all types (inverse and guttate being the other two big ones). Guttate not as much as the other two, so not a big deal, but the inverse is stubborn and persists. Fortunately, I really do think the skin changes are helping keep irritation down which in turn keeps the psoriasis at bay!

 Having it under control is better than nothing. I'm almost surprised I didn't break out with it. My mom and I shared many things like sensitive skin. macular degeneration, cancer albeit different types. You know little things like that.
  I am glad you are doing okay Ellie.

Hugs,
  Laurie

And that's that, I am now out to all of my immediate (blood) relatives. Spoke with my older brother over the phone (I prefer face to face so much more, I have phone anxiety on top of everything else ), and he was completely accepting. I still need to tell my step-brother, might try later today if the circumstances allow, but other than that... That'll be out to really everyone who it matters to me what their reaction is(except for my brother's wife and kids which won't be an issue at all, and my brother is going to tell his wife later today). Actually still have my step-sister(who definitely won't care), and I do have an aunt and uncle on my dad's side, and two aunts on my mom's side that I hope are accepting, all who I do care about, but if they aren't accepting... well, it'd be disappointing but I can deal with it without issue if they aren't.

This has not gotten any easier though. 

Also, this thread is boring lately. I need to step back up the insanity.

Quote from: Roll on December 31, 2017, 02:13:16 PM
And that's that, I am now out to all of my immediate (blood) relatives. Spoke with my older brother over the phone (I prefer face to face so much more, I have phone anxiety on top of everything else ), and he was completely accepting. I still need to tell my step-brother, might try later today if the circumstances allow, but other than that... That'll be out to really everyone who it matters to me what their reaction is(except for my brother's wife and kids which won't be an issue at all, and my brother is going to tell his wife later today). Actually still have my step-sister(who definitely won't care), and I do have an aunt and uncle on my dad's side, and two aunts on my mom's side that I hope are accepting, all who I do care about, but if they aren't accepting... well, it'd be disappointing but I can deal with it without issue if they aren't.

This has not gotten any easier though. 

Awesome  !!!!! How did you tell them?

For my dad, I had a letter prep'd, gave it to him, then used it as a guideline to say it outloud. It was terrifying. For my step mother I just sat down and sort of said it (that one was pretty easy). For my sister, I sat down and told her, while being incredibly nervous but I wasn't expecting a bad response so not too scared, since she is the sweetest person ever. For my younger brother I just told him fairly casually because... yeah, he just wasn't going to care (negatively). I might as well have told him I was getting a haircut. (That's the response I like the best honestly.) My older brother I was nervous with because he's unpredictable on some things, but I just called him (since he wasn't coming down in person like he was originally for New Years) and just sort of worked my way around to it slowly, super nervously. Pretty much in all cases I just said "I am transgender", and then expanded upon it during the course of the conversation.

My older brother did conflate it with sexuality a bit, but whatever, a wins a win.

Quote from: Roll on December 31, 2017, 02:35:50 PM
For my dad, I had a letter prep'd, gave it to him, then used it as a guideline to say it outloud. It was terrifying. For my step mother I just sat down and sort of said it (that one was pretty easy). For my sister, I sat down and told her, while being incredibly nervous but I wasn't expecting a bad response so not too scared, since she is the sweetest person ever. For my younger brother I just told him fairly casually because... yeah, he just wasn't going to care (negatively). I might as well have told him I was getting a haircut. (That's the response I like the best honestly.) My older brother I was nervous with because he's unpredictable on some things, but I just called him (since he wasn't coming down in person like he was originally for New Years) and just sort of worked my way around to it slowly, super nervously. Pretty much in all cases I just said "I am transgender", and then expanded upon it during the course of the conversation.

My older brother did conflate it with sexuality a bit, but whatever, a wins a win.

Sounds awesome  ! Great to hear your family is so accepting!!!
Happy new year once again  !

Quote from: Roll on December 31, 2017, 02:13:16 PM


This has not gotten any easier though. 

Also, this thread is boring lately. I need to step back up the insanity.

I can't believe you've come out to do many so quickly.  what's the secret there?  Did you have one big family meeting at Xmas?

Oh, and the insanity is always welcome.  I can't be the only one in that camp:)

Bari Jo

Congratulations, you definitely came out to a lot of people in a short period of time. I am glad they have been accepting.

Quote from: Roll on December 31, 2017, 02:13:16 PM
And that's that, I am now out to all of my immediate (blood) relatives.

Way to go, Ellie!  It's hard, especially at first, but you did it.

Don't worry, it will get easier with time.

Yay! Wonderful news and ending 2017 on a high! Nice work. X

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Quote from: Roll on December 31, 2017, 02:13:16 PM
And that's that, I am now out to all of my immediate (blood) relatives.

Yay!!! Way to go girl! I'm happy everyone was so accepting. You've encouraged me to get off my butt (metaphorically) & find my sisters (note: I think I have found them, now to just come up with letters for people I haven't seen or spoken to in over 20 years).

Quote from: Roll on December 31, 2017, 02:13:16 PM
Also, this thread is boring lately. I need to step back up the insanity.

I prefer to think of this thread as an island of sanity in an insane world. 

 Congratulations Ellie. I think a lot of those closest to us are the ones we worry about the most and are the hardest for us to tell. I'm glad all those went well for you and hope the rest do too.
  Have a Happy New Year Ellie

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Bari Jo on December 31, 2017, 02:43:18 PM
I can't believe you've come out to do many so quickly.  what's the secret there?  Did you have one big family meeting at Xmas?

I told my dad back in October, my step-mother in November, and then my sister on the 16th I believe(17th maybe, it's in my sig I can't see typing ), then when my brother came in I told him the 26th, and then called my older brother today. So one at a time for sure. I didn't want to be dramatic about it or hijack the holidays, so kept it low key as much as possible.

Quote from: Sarah_P on December 31, 2017, 06:08:17 PM
Yay!!! Way to go girl! I'm happy everyone was so accepting. You've encouraged me to get off my butt (metaphorically) & find my sisters (note: I think I have found them, now to just come up with letters for people I haven't seen or spoken to in over 20 years).

That's amazing! I hope everything goes well with them!!

I'm glad 2017 ended with such positivity for you Ellie.  I'm sorry to hear about the family problems/being ignored over Christmas.  I know what it's like to have family issues. Fwiw my Christmas want terribly great either.  At least you survived.  I'm so happy to hear that everyone is supportive.

I don't know if there really is a secret to coming out to do many people in such a short time.  Sometimes it is just time.  A few months after tentatively telling a few people, I came out to just about everyone that mattered within a very short time.  It seems like these things go in spurts.  Eventually you will start to pass and then have to deal with the "holy crap.  They have no idea.  Should I tell them?" part of life.

Keep up the good work being you.  I hope 2018 is every bit as amazing for you!

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Thanks Amber! I hope you (and everyone else) have a great 2018!!!

If I weren't lazy I'd edit one of those old Chinese zodiac restaurant placemats and replace 2018 with the Year of Susan's. BECAUSE THIS IS THE YEAR GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN!

And on that note, I started off with one of my remaining coming outs, to my step brother. I've mentioned before hes the majority of my day to day interaction, so was super nervous about it making things awkward. Time will tell what the end result will be, but his initial reaction was surprise but complete acceptance.

Seriously, at this point coming out is starting to feel anti-climactic and weird. I don't want anyone to have a negative reaction, but I keep preparing for one and when it doesn't happen I have all those nerves and adrenaline that just sort of go nowhere. Part of me wants at least some huge shocked or dramatic response. Does that make any sense whatsoever?