Hi guys, and others reading,

So my surgery date is January 15.
I´m not scared of having surgery and I want to get it.

But I´m scared of my PTSD and how they will treat me at the hospital. I recently shared some worries I had about my weight with one of the assistants. I said I´m very lightweight and I was worried about it because I get very dizzy from time to time. Her response was basically "so what" (since I have been approved for surgery).

This does not feel good. At all.

I cannot trust people who treat me like that. I also said I would like to make an assessment of my physical and mental health one week before surgery, and she said "yeah no, we can´t do that, do you want to cancel or not".

I basically feel like they are forcing me in a spot whether I either say YES or NO to surgery and there is no leeway to talk about my mental health before surgery.

In any situation where I´m going to be at the mercy of others, SPECIALLY considering I have complex PTSD from severe abuse, I need to know that these people are going to put my interest and my wellbeing first. It does not feel that way.

Very confused and angry now.

Sorry to hear about your anxiety.

Sadly, not everyone who works in a doctor's office or medical facility is medically qualified.  By that, there are some who will go around with a scub top on and scope around their neck and be a receptionist or a CNA.  Neither of which usually have the experience and/or knowledge, let alone the bed size manner needed.

Hang in there and ignore comments made by some.

Thank you, that helps.

You are right, not all staff are trained to deal with my kind of situation.
Just because staff are not qualified, does not mean the surgeons/surgery staff are not qualified. The thing with PTSD is that once 1 person says something, you immediately distrust the entire team.

I have shared my worries too on a trauma forum and I hope I can just discuss this with the surgeon´s team, and still get the surgery.

PS. Congrats being on hormones, just saw your ticker gadget!

I'm glad my words helped a little. 

PTSD is a nasty thing.  It can be quiet and dormant for years and then sneak out like a rattler in the bushes.

Thanks on the HRT comment.  I'm so excited and anxious about it.  My ticker is suppose to reflect that I start HRT in two days, or at least see the doctor to get the HRT.

These past few days waiting have driver me a little whacky

Cali

I don't know what you've been through and how deeply it affects you. What I do know is that ptsd is very serious. I can't compare what you went through to being transgender, but you going through both is a lot. As a trans person I know anxiety is our enemy. It's so hard to overcome but if we don't then we won't achieve the huge milestones we need. Surgery is a major decision to make.

I completely can relate to not trusting the team because of her immediate dismissiveness. Have you spoken with anyone else since? That might be a good first step to try.

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