Hi to all  First of all, I would like to sorry for any incorrect forms or sentences, because I'm not on friendly terms with English 

I'm from Russia. From 12, I was feeling to be an MtF. As well as many others, I had many problems with parents on this case. After school, I left to other town and started my transition. I sit on dating websites as a lesbian girl and looked for other lesbians (I told them about my TG side after some time). At one moment, I found my destiny - a girl who I started to love instantly. She helped me to reilaze that I can live without gender change. Anyway, my appearance and inner world seem to be androgynous. I'm here to talk with someone and express myself: I'm making very different photos using my androgynous look and writing unusual songs using my androgynous voice.

It's not very easy for me to write on English. Maybe later, if I collect strength, I will write more details about my childhood and whole life.

Hi Steele 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's! I'm Jessica.  I see your new so I'll post some links to help you become acquainted with the site.  I'm glad your here! 

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Thanks Jessica, some of these links were useful for me!

Quote from: Steele on January 02, 2018, 12:34:03 PM
Thanks Jessica, some of these links were useful for me!

I'm glad your exploring.  I'm looking forward to hearing more about you.  Your experiences help others as theirs help you.

Just to add, maybe someone of you have question - why am I being here and not on our local forums. I will tell you about sad situatuion of transfender forums in Russia.
I was in TG forums since 2008 and in that time there were two good forums in Russia. One closed in 2012 because it's admin lost interest, other one closed in 2014 by similar reason, just difference that it's admins gone to commercy: shop and clinic. Now there are 3 transgender forums (except that ones which are very unpopular):
First one is very sad because it's admin also sad, and it lost it's public: I see last monthes no more than 10-15 posts everyday.
Second one contains flood and just flood. If someone writes his introducion, his topic fills with senseless expressions and offtopic discussions.
Third one is only for crossdressers, it's admins prohibits to menton any transsexual and other gender problems.

I even tried to create my own forum! I've united with a female admirer and a crossdresser: I created forum myself, they made work of promotion and people attraction. I thought we go right way, but after all technical works were finished, issues fixed, they betrayed me, removed all accesses and banned...

So, now I'm here.

Quote from: Jessica on January 02, 2018, 01:33:25 PM
I'm glad your exploring.  I'm looking forward to hearing more about you.  Your experiences help others as theirs help you.

Well, if i have such resoonsibility, I will try 

First of all, my story is unusual because I feeled myself as MtF in my early years and reversed my feelings later.

In childhood, my only friend was a girl. I loved play with her, but we played most with toy cars, lego, so it was one of first ambiguities. To my regret, in age 7, me and my mom moved to a village, where she found her new love. There I had no friends. My stepfather was neutral to me, he even said no words to me, except of such: "bring water from the well", "kindle the furnace", etc. My mom also lost interest to me, so I became alone.

I had problems in school, but not with marks, only with other children. I was different from all others. Besides that, it was village school, and all people were conservative here.

I realized that I want to be a girl in 12. Maybe, it was bceause of all mentioned problems. I can't imagine what the situation could be, if I don't have problems with parents, other children and have friends. Since that, I waited for my dreams to realize. Even it was remote village, I've known about major transsexual nuances on TV.

At age 18 I finished school and left to a town. My parents also have found out about my transsexuality - my mom looked into my private correspondence. They were against it. I said that there is a clinic which helps transsexuals nearly. They thought "to help transsexuals" means "to dismiss a nonsense".

I started hormones. I was total 2 years on it, but my appearance changed slightly, because of inital androgynous appearance and small dosage.

In age 19 I've found my future wife. We lived together about half of year as lesbians. I don't know how, but she changed my opinion about transsexuality. As she was and continues to be my best and only friend, there is no need for me to change my gender. She accepts me that who I am.

Strictly speaking, after all throwings I can say that my mind is androgynous. Despite the fact that I stopped hormones, I saved androgynous look, and it's perfect for me - I look same as I feel.

My wife is fond of creating different styles for me. Here is one such my photo 

Your very pretty.  Most here recognized early that something was not right.  Many have waited for years to do anything about it.  You are lucky to be able to start so young and find love.

Quote from: Jessica on January 02, 2018, 02:43:54 PM
Your very pretty.  Most here recognized early that something was not right.  Many have waited for years to do anything about it.  You are lucky to be able to start so young and find love.

Thanks Jessica, I agree that I was lucky in that.

Hi Steele 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Your legs are amazing. I wish I had long legs like that.

Thanks V M and Roll