My bits confuse me and some things have been bothering me and I have no male friends I'm close enough to ask. Here is my situation:
I'm not circumcised and skin can't retract at all.  I guess I didn't think about it growing up, I noticed from videos that the other guys are different but I thought that was just porn. Years later I found out that foreskin is meant to retract and I started to stretch it. After a few years it got a little better but still couldn't retract it and it still hurt. When I had my first time with a girl it didn't feel like anything just hurt. A few years later I got on HRT the estrogen shrunken the skin and has tightened more than it was before I started stretching it.

My concern is that I still need to figure out what I want surgery wise and I'm unsure if its possible for me to have sex or if the problem is not a problem. I read some men don't have retractable foreskin and doesn't cause a problem, so maybe my problem when I had sex before HRT was because I tried to stretch it and it made it worse. I want to start trying to date soon and figure myself out. What I don't understand is do I have no interest in penertration cause I haven't felt pleasure from it or will I just never like it cause I need SRS.
Another question to throw out there is before you had sex as male did you have the urge? I don't my brain doesn't seem to want to register I have male bits, I have no urge to want to penertrate but desire pretty much everything else. Again do I just not want to cause I don't get pleasure from or will my brain never want to.

I asked a doctor once cause I was getting pain and generally unsure how my male bits work. I just got a confusing answer and was told things like to use water to wash it and avoid a heap of different soaps, wtf. No one has ever told me to wash it!  maybe I was told as a child and just didn't want to know, I've never felt connected to that part of me. I wash the outside obviously but how am I meant to get inside cause I can't! My foreskin doesn't retract I've never seen underneath, never cleaned it and I'm 26 years old. Every time I ask someone about it I get negative response like I'm going to get infected if I don't clean it but I've never ever had an infection, yeah it hurts to pee but all tests show no infection... Confusing right, I always thought genitals were self cleaning humans wouldn't have survived otherwise.

So now I'm left with maybe I can't have sex and I should get my foreskin stretched. but the thought of my foreskin retracting really really grosses me out and then I might be prone to infection at least how it is now there is skin covering it and nothing can get underneath,  I can't even get underneath there!
I want to be sure about surgery, it costs a lot of money, I can't take that decision back but how can I be sure if I don't understand what I have now?
For those who have had functioning foreskin when you are erect does the foreskin go back by its self or do you manually have to pull it back? If I could pull mine if wanted back but it stayed forward otherwise then I could live with that.
I fear I can't have sex and will have to stretch the foreskin but that would make my dysphoria worse. Even the act of stretching it grosses me out cause then I'd have to touch it. I can't make peace with that part of my body and its upsetting I can't get answers.. I have this thought sometimes if I can't function sexually now I should get surgery but my foreskin doesn't retract so will that be a problem? Its not going to complicate things that I've never cleaned under my skin like what if they cut it open and find something.  Do I need to get circumcised cause that would be horrible and I need to have much skin as possible.
I'm sick of all of this confusion, thanks heaps for reading if you got this far. Any thoughts??? I thought I should ask a doctor again but I don't want to hear I'd have to be circumcised, they don't understand my dysphoria and how it would just make more of a problem.

Well it sounds like you may be a little asexual in some of your feelings, but this is something you will have to figure out. As for your foreskin issues. Some of us yes can not retract the foreskin on the penis and it's normal. It should go back fairly easy when you push it back. Generally you are supposed to clean under the hood to keep bacteria and other things out. If you can't push it back though I guess you don't need to clean under there. You never want to force anything. You don't need to get it stretched or anything and it doesn't matter if you remove it before surgery or not. From the videos I have watched of surgery they remove the foreskin anyway and make the clitoral hood from the rest of your skin. I think you are okay as you are. As far as it opening for sex. It doesn't need to open for that. It is supposed to open as you penetrate but, you don't need to have an urge to penetrate. Some of us don't it's something most of us don't connect with on our parts down there. I know I don't have that desire either and never have. So stop worrying you're good!!!

Sounds like phimosis, consult a doctor.

It's best not to be circumcised if you have srs. It can negatively affect the result.

No


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Thanks Jailyn I feel a little better, usually when I ask someone they make me feel horrible and broken. I think I definitely have more to figure out I guess time will tell, I am scared and worried about the uncertainty. I know it's stupid but if I don't have the ability to have sex it makes me feel less of a person and worry I'll be alone forever. I don't know maybe I'm more normal than I think.

It's better NOT to be circumcised - more tissue available for vaginal depth.

Haven't had that particular function for years now. HRT just reinforced it.  I personally don't even feel my penis much anymore. If you don't want it for penetration I don't think you have a problem.