Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

I need some hard hitting advice!

Started by Starla, January 06, 2018, 09:33:04 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Starla

I'm about to turn 30 in a few days and have been more depressed than ever. I've wanted to begin my transition for a few years now (since 2012 actually) but don't really have the support around me that I need! Right now I'm living with my parents and are unfortunately dependent on them. They are not the most supporting people.....and living in a conservative small Texas town in the bible belt mind you does NOT help. I want to start HRT but don't even know where to begin in an area like this.

I'm really tired of being misgendered and people flat out not even knowing WHAT I am (yes, that really happened) at a convenience store when the cashier flat out asked me if I was a male or female. She didn't ask out of maliciousness, she was genuinely curious and I kindly explained to her that I was born male but identify as female. Imagine people not knowing what you are BEFORE HRT or anything like that! It's an issue I wouldn't wish on anyone! I would really just like to begin hormone therapy so I can get my body in alignment with my mind and appear as female. Tired of the guessing games and people being confused when they see me.

Please someone give me some advice. I don't really have the funds either to do much. I've thought about self med but that's really dangerous and I don't think that's allowed to be discussed here anyways!

So please, what should I do? Where do I begin? I have limited funds, and absolutely no family support.
:embarrassed:
  •  

KathyLauren

Hi, Starla!

Welcome to Susan's.

I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation.

It seems to me that you need a source of income in order to be free from your parents and live independently.  Do you work?  Are you able to work?  Becoming more independent will give you the freedom to pursue transition.

Is there an LGBT organization in your town or somewhere nearby?  If so, they may be able to help you find resources that are accessible to you.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Things that you should read





2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
  •  

Starla

Quote from: KathyLauren on January 06, 2018, 10:19:20 AM
Hi, Starla!

Welcome to Susan's.

I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation.

It seems to me that you need a source of income in order to be free from your parents and live independently.  Do you work?  Are you able to work?  Becoming more independent will give you the freedom to pursue transition.

Is there an LGBT organization in your town or somewhere nearby?  If so, they may be able to help you find resources that are accessible to you.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Things that you should read





Thank you. And an LGBT organization nearby? In the bible belt? I'd have better luck finding a flying pig!  :laugh:
  •  

Sno

Sweetie, there will be groups, but they will be hidden in plain sight, behind an organisation that is more liberal in its views - in this case it may well be a church, now if memory serves me correctly the Unitarians may be a good place to start.

In the mean time, welcome to Susan's! Your digital support group :)

Rowan
  •  

Toni

Hey Starla, I'm in a VERY small town in the Hill Country here in Texas.  Don't know how mobile you are but there are groups in San Antonio, Austin, Kerrville if any of those are at all in your neighborhood.  Yeah, this place can be weird to be like us, but while you need to be careful, my experience has been much better that I ever thought as far as friends support, even out here.  I'm pretty much fully transitioned and will be taking the final step in about a month.  As soon as you get a few more posts (I think you need 15) you can PM me if you like and I'll be happy to talk about a few things specific to Texas with you.  Take a deep breath, read through a lot of what is already here in this group and have faith that you can do this if you really want to, even here.  Toni
  •  

Devlyn

Hi Starla, welcome to Susan's Place! Here's some resources for Texas. We also have some lgbtiqa+ friendly medical providers in the Links Directory.

http://www.transhouston.com
http://www.montrosecenter.org/hub/
https://www.pflag.org/find-a-chapter
http://www.tau-chi.org

See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn
  •  

StacyRenee

I too am in a small city (just over the state line in New Mexico) in the Bible belt. I did a search online and found counselors in some of the bigger cities (Psychology Today had a listing of therapists that deal with gender issues). I decided on a therapist in Amarillo that had ties to a transgender support group. Both have been wonderful!

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

  •  

elkie-t

You seem to be blessed in a way with softer looks, and your Bible Belt still accepts you. If you want to look more manly (that no one dares to challenge your gender) a- go for building muscles and physical exercises. And if you want to get rid of those male traces - you need to go for HRT and transition. Transition is costly, you need to be able to find a good paying job. Even in smaller communities, there are hospitals or national chain stores or other options to find some employment that won't discriminate you once you start transitioning. You also can join the army if there's totally no jobs where you live. Or you can choose a middle ground, do nothing, keep on living as you are, maybe crossdress a little at home or attend some support groups crossdresser. It's not a bad choice either, you lived that life for a long time... pick whatever route you'd be happiest.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  •  

jessica95

Quote from: Starla on January 06, 2018, 09:33:04 AM
I'm about to turn 30 in a few days and have been more depressed than ever. I've wanted to begin my transition for a few years now (since 2012 actually) but don't really have the support around me that I need! Right now I'm living with my parents and are unfortunately dependent on them. They are not the most supporting people.....and living in a conservative small Texas town in the bible belt mind you does NOT help. I want to start HRT but don't even know where to begin in an area like this.

I'm really tired of being misgendered and people flat out not even knowing WHAT I am (yes, that really happened) at a convenience store when the cashier flat out asked me if I was a male or female. She didn't ask out of maliciousness, she was genuinely curious and I kindly explained to her that I was born male but identify as female. Imagine people not knowing what you are BEFORE HRT or anything like that! It's an issue I wouldn't wish on anyone! I would really just like to begin hormone therapy so I can get my body in alignment with my mind and appear as female. Tired of the guessing games and people being confused when they see me.

Please someone give me some advice. I don't really have the funds either to do much. I've thought about self med but that's really dangerous and I don't think that's allowed to be discussed here anyways!

So please, what should I do? Where do I begin? I have limited funds, and absolutely no family support.
:embarrassed:
Hi, welcome! Sorry to hear this, i dont know of places in Texas since i am not from USA. But i still wish you the best and that it sorts out.
  •  

Starla

Thank you all for the kind replies, I guess at the end of the day I am going to have to dust myself off and make something happen for myself or be unhappy for the rest of my life.

Quote from: elkie-t on January 06, 2018, 03:46:49 PM
If you want to look more manly (that no one dares to challenge your gender) a- go for building muscles and physical exercises. And if you want to get rid of those male traces - you need to go for HRT and transition.

No, no and no! Manly is NOT what I am going for  :laugh: I've spent my entire life avoiding anything masculine or boy-ish! It's just frustrating when people genuinely don't know what you are....mind you my hair is super long! But I usually have it pulled back in a ponytail. It was pulled back the day that lady asked me if I was a male or female. So maybe the hair is throwing them off I don't know  :laugh: it's just strange because long hair isn't that uncommon on many men! From all different types of backgrounds.

I guess hormone therapy is my only option, which I already figured but yea. Thank you all so much.
  •  

Cassi

You could try dying or styling your hair in order to promote the Le Fem appearance prior to HeaRT.
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

Starla

Quote from: Cali on January 07, 2018, 09:53:46 AM
You could try dying or styling your hair in order to promote the Le Fem appearance prior to HeaRT.

My hair is a dark brown with dark blonde tips  :laugh: usually kept in a high ponytail! Not the low ponytail most men usually have it. I would like to think it's a feminine style.....as feminine as a ponytail can be I suppose  :laugh:

that's great advice though thank you!
  •  

Cassi

Quote from: Starla on January 07, 2018, 10:10:42 AM
My hair is a dark brown with dark blonde tips  :laugh: usually kept in a high ponytail! Not the low ponytail most men usually have it. I would like to think it's a feminine style.....as feminine as a ponytail can be I suppose  :laugh:

that's great advice though thank you!

You're welcome.
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

Starla

here is my hair by the way....or part of it!  :laugh: it's very lengthy! Naturally curly. A bit longer when I straighten it but I rarely do that.

the color is awful I know! that's what I get for doing it myself at home. I plan on re-dyeing it all one color soon.

  •  

Cassi

HRT since 1/04/2018
  •