I had a meeting with HR on Friday. I discussed my plans for GRS in June, name change, and that I needed to transition at work.  The woman I spoke to said she needed to contact corporate in NY because she was new to this and needed to find out company policy.  I am protected in the state I live and the corporate policy supports state protection.  I got this response today.

"I have not forgotten you.  I did get a chance to talk with Jxxxxx at corporate.    She is of the opinion that for right now you should continue as you always do.  If you feel that you want to discuss things with management, ie;  Dxx, Fxxx, Dxxx etc. that is up to you.  She also suggests that at this point you could just address things on a case by case basis.  When you return to work then obviously things will change at that point.

I hope that makes sense.  Let me know if you have any questions.  If you feel you would like to talk with management I would be happy to sit in with you if you like.  Also if you want to discuss anything directly with Jxxxxx her number is xxx-xxx-xxxx or you can email her at XXXXXXXXX....."

FYI: In the email she addressed me by my male name.

Any feedback on this?  Thanks,
Julie

Hi, Hon

The email in your male name sucks!!! There Back pedaling it seems like to me. They may be in shock mode too.

Time to play.  I'm doing the name change at work and getting my medical document done as quietly as possible. (as if i could)

Just think if your time sheet starts saying Julie. That is a way to get the ballrolling. Legal name Change and that Patriot Act thingy about Identification matching employers records.

Move forward but dont fight your way forward.

Hang in there Julie. It just looks difficult....

HUGS and HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from: Renate on March 04, 2008, 07:14:33 PM
It's not clear from your post whether you have officially stated a preference for name and pronouns and what their reaction was.
You write that your name change is in the future.  With a legal name change, that aspect will be different.

I agree. My company was totally fine with my transition, but most of them continued to use my male name after my initial "coming out" until I directly asked them to use Kate. Or well, they all kept asking me if they COULD use Kate, and I finally agreed. But I guess when I said, "I'll be changing my name in the future" they took that to mean don't use it yet.

Now, the "She is of the opinion that for right now you should continue as you always do" confuses me. I wonder how long "for right now" means? Until when?

For what it's worth, when I told management, I also gave them a rough timeline for what would happen when. But I also made sure they knew I was flexible, and wanted to work out the best plan with them. I wanted to get them involved, and together we worked out a plan that was workable for both of us.

And they too told me, "for right now you should continue as you always do" until they had a chance to plan for contingencies themselves. They had to play around with tha bathrooms, investigate legal options, figure out harassment policies, etc.

~Kate~

Like Kate, I gave my company lots of notice of my intentions.  I told them from the beginning that my goal was a complete transision.  I also posted updates to HR as to my progress and timeline.  When scheduling surgery I gave my company options as to what worked best for them too from a work scheduling standpoint.  I also purchased a few books for  my company about transexuals and transisioning for  hr and the company brass to review.


It seems like your HR folks are dancing around the issue.  IE they really have not stated a corporate policy.  While not making waves, you also need to know HR's policy on the whole thing.  Me I would go back to HR with  a peliminary time line for transision.  stress that you want to work with the company, but that you also need to transistion soon.

Of course I transistioned to full time at work a year ago.  FYI.  I meet with clients, architects and contractors all the time and have not had any negitive issues.  Even with the "good old boys" contractors.  Many know I'm trans and it's a non issue.  It was scary for my company at first too, but they see that I'm just me.   

Best of luck to you julie

Beni

Julie,

You need to put your expectations on paper and give it to HR.  They may not want to do anything unless you explicitly ask.  I assume you know what rights you have as far as state laws are concerned.  I would use them to your advantage where possible.

I certainly wouldn't expect any changes from them until you submit your legal name change order. 

My best to you.  I know how hard all this is. 

Cindi

I agree that they're probably not knowing where to step when. If you tell them, they'll probably comply. They're just looking for direction.

I had a similar experience, where my boss messed around with trying gender neutral names for me in the interim period. Everyone just kept calling me Den and that stuck after transition and it doesn't bother me. Then he tried the gender neutral washroom idea. I used that till there was a lineup, then went to the men's room and that wasn't an issue. The gender neutral one was a lot nicer though, so I kept using that when it was available. Unfortunately, so did everyone else.

I don't think they're meaning to sound negative at this stage, it's all just new to them. Treat it matter of factly as it goes along and so will they.

Dennis

I agree with most everything said before.  Your HR rep doesn't know what to do because you are probably the first person that's made such a request.  I don't know where you live but in California no documentation is required to change your name on anything other than State issued documents.  Social Security and the IRS don't care what you call yourself as long as the numbers are right.  CA recognises common law name changes as do a handful of other states.  Is yours one of them?

Make a time table for your transition at work.  You need to inform the rest of the staff.  How do you want to do that?  When will you change your presentation?  When will you start using the womens restroom?  Answer all those questions and others then present your plan to HR as a written document.  Don't concern yourself about what you think the company may want, this document is what YOU want.  It will serve as the starting point for any negotiations that follow.  Remember, HR's raison d'être is to keep the company from being sued!  Use that to your advantage.

Quote from: Dennis on March 05, 2008, 01:31:41 AM
I had a similar experience, where my boss messed around with trying gender neutral names for me in the interim period. Everyone just kept calling me Den and that stuck after transition and it doesn't bother me.

Dude;

Just be thankful they didn't call you "Duh"  >

=K

Unfortunately, Julie, it has now become your job to educate your company.  That's one of the hardest things about this.  I was talking to a therapist not long ago and she said the same thing about many therapists.  First we have to educate them if we want their help.  But you need to be clear about your needs and expectations and time line.  Be respectful and try not to sound like you are making demands.  Keep a written record.  I don't think they are trying to be cruel.  They are just clueless.  And maybe quite scared.  You have been a tremendous employee and it is obvious that they want to keep you.  The good news is that you have a chance to shape the entire process.  If anyone can do it in a positive way, you can.  Who was it that told me that we are put here to show the world how positive a trans person can be?  This is your chance.  Shine, sister, shine!

Kristi

It sounds like your HR is scrambling to get their arms around your transition and does not know where to start.

The easy one is the name.  Until I go full time at the start of the next school year, I know that I am going by my male name 100% of the time.  It removes the possibility of confusing people.  Unless you are ready for everyone to address you as Julie, even if you are wearing a 3-piece Armani suit, I wouldn't worry about it.

In regards to literature, HRC has some good materials that you can download and print.  The advantage of using this as an introduction is that it is short and to the point - thus increasing the probability of it being read & used.  I handed my administration a binder loaded with such materials.  Other resources would be NCTEquality.org and glaad.org. 

Along with the binder of materials, you might want to buy a copy of True Selves for your local HR rep.  The materials in this book could help answer questions.  I know that my district did a manditory book-talk using this text for the administration, counselors and other appropriate personnel.

HR is looking for you to take the lead in this dance.  This is your chance to make your transition as easy as it can be for you and everyone else who will come after you.

Chaunte