'I mean you wouldnt buy a skirt without first asking your friends if it looked good on you right?'

Cookie for whoever names that film
R >

Hi, Beverly,
I do so agree with you. I was a transitioning male to female and I jumped the hoops but I did most of my transitioning by myself in the sense I did it with the minimum of support from out there except for the docs I needed to see for the legal documentation.

There was no support of any sort near where I lived anyway. I did not learn how to live as a female without my share of skinned knuckles and shin bones, so to speak. But I must say it certain has been an interesting journey. Probably got more education about just plain living  during those 7 short years than I did during all of my previous 55 years.

It is nearly 8 years ago when I started my journey full time and I am still learning how to feel and think like a lady. The worst thing I have gone through, more than the pains of transitioning,  was getting involuntarily retired from being a social worker. And believe me I am doing every thing to get back into action, even if it means volunteering for a position. I have a meeting to attend tomorrow that I am truly anxious to get on with it. If you will, send a little prayer, please. The position will be that of running a drop in center and support group for Trans folks. Just want to have the opportunity to give back what I have received from my mostly online sisters and brothers that I have met through the years.

As for the transgender community, I say good and fine for those who belong there. I am always ready to go to anyone's assistance no matter who or what they are but I have a hard time of it when someone tries to put me in a little box.  I straight out do not trust any organisation that would try to label me, like a specimen in a laboratory. Nor do I feel like I would feel any safer in a TG community. I have been a loner for a good many years until I met Wing Walker, and she is my female warrior in brilliant vibrant energy armor, wielding a brightly shining energy sword in her hand above here head. She stands regally atop a cliff overlooking the battle ground, legs slightly spread apart,  she awaits for any enemy that should be bold enough to approach her.

But then this entire post is only my observation and not necessarily anyone else's. Just threw in the warrior one for enhancement 

Cindy

Quote from: Rachael on March 02, 2008, 06:17:55 AM
When i had to dress as a boy for my grandmothers funeral, i got treated as a badly passing f2m... people treated me MORE female, when they percived i was trying to be seen as a boy... nasty sure, some were ok, some wernt, but in general, i was treated more as a girl playing boy...
Depends on who you are, where you are, what they are like...
R >

Wait so why wouldn't you dress as a boy all the time then?  If people treat your MORE female when you do that, and you want people to treat you as a female, then I'm confused.

Are you sure it wasn't just because you were around a lot of old people who would have thought you were a girl regardless of how you dressed?

Why would old people be more enclined to see me as female?

Actually it wasnt just at the funeral... it was going to the station, at the various stations, the cab driver... everyone...

But then, i i look female anyway, so whats the point? i like to look good, so i dress in nice clothes... mens suits arnt high on my agenda... neither is looking like a business dyke
R >

Quote from: cindybc on March 05, 2008, 04:31:47 PM
The worst thing I have gone through, more than the pains of transitioning,  was getting involuntarily retired from being a social worker. And believe me I am doing every thing to get back into action, even if it means volunteering for a position. I have a meeting to attend tomorrow that I am truly anxious to get on with it. If you will, send a little prayer, please. The position will be that of running a drop in center and support group for Trans folks.

Good luck Cindy! It would be wonderful if you get this position!

Z

Hi Zythyra
Thanks hon, hey and if you should ever come to BC you would be more then welcome too drop by the center then Wing Walker and I could take you to do a little dancing at one of the Drag Kings talent night. We really had fun there the last time we went there.

Cindy   

Quote from: Rachael on March 05, 2008, 06:27:38 PM
Why would old people be more enclined to see me as female?

Hypatia's Law: Passability is directly proportional to the observer's age.

hows that work then?
R >

Quote from: Hypatia on March 06, 2008, 09:19:50 AM

Quote from: Rachael on March 05, 2008, 06:27:38 PM
Why would old people be more enclined to see me as female?

Hypatia's Law: Passability is directly proportional to the observer's age.

Rachael was trying to pass as a boy, but they didn't buy it. So it seems backwards.

Two thoughts, Rachael: Either you didn't want to pass, or you were expecting to pass better. For either reason you maybe weren't trying very hard. And if you were expecting to pass better, maybe getting read as a female just stood out more in your mind.

Quote from: Renate on March 02, 2008, 05:24:28 AM
Would a polite John Q. Public address the MIAD as "Sir" as an act of presumed consideration?
Would a polite John Q. Public address the MIAD as "Ma'am" as an act of presumed consideration?

(This topic is not about passing, please don't post anything in that vein.)

Renate

not about passing? but 'man in a dress' is a definition of one who is not passing.

so, to clarify here, you're saying "how does polite John Q. Public address one who is not passing (this is not about passing)

polite ones:

a) pity the MIAD or
b) find the MIAD interesting and/or cute on her own terms

however, the polite ones are not the ones the MIAD needs to worry about!!! hello?

ps
you know i'm just being difficult with you, right, Renate? it's just that some of the things you say seem to paint a target on yourself that i just can't resist taking a jab at     i meant no offense though, ok?
-L

Quote from: Alyssa M. on March 06, 2008, 02:42:05 PM
Rachael was trying to pass as a boy, but they didn't buy it. So it seems backwards.

Yeah, she was attempting to revert to pre-transition gender. It was backwards. Hypatia's Law describes how it works forwards. Trying to pass backwards screws up the equations. 

Hi well I figure that if Rachael dressed with men's attire and still passed as a girl all's I can say, "Hey my dear friend Rachael" do tell me what the secret is.

Well I figured out something myself on the best way to be passable is to project your Idea of what you want people to see. No s**t it works wonderfully. I have been doing it for some time now. Last year I was even carded for a deck of cigarettes in Asheville North Carolina. 

Cindy

i would suggest a modicum of spite possibly?
maybe politeness, maybe genuinely seeing me as a female... but hey,
i didnt pass any different tbh, i look the same... but it was clearly a more obvious contrast that was visible as i was dressed in boys clothes. literally crossdressing ><
WIAS (woman in a suit) am new oposite term to miad now
R >

Obviously these good folks could *not* see the old you, possibly because you have simply changed in appearance since back then. Also since when did most of these good folks last saw you as the other?...... Gee I hope that made sense.

Cindy

most havent... they were randoms in the street ,or at the stations i went to etc...
at the funeral, most havent met me...
parents still said i looked like an effeminate boy however ><
R >

Wonderful Rachael hon. now enjoy the hell out of it. Life is to short to sit around a computer chatting with old bats like me. You only come by this rout but once now is time to reap the harvest. I make my rounds around the community doing what I can to support others who are in need,

Cindy

its 9am, im trying to wake up before my busy day good enough excuse?
R >

Quote from: Rachael on March 07, 2008, 02:56:05 AM
WIAS (woman in a suit)

Oooo baby now you're talking. 

Quote from: Hypatia on March 06, 2008, 09:19:50 AM

Quote from: Rachael on March 05, 2008, 06:27:38 PM
Why would old people be more enclined to see me as female?

Hypatia's Law: Passability is directly proportional to the observer's age.

I find that to be true as well. Up to the point that cataracts set-in I find older people are more likely to identify one as the gender they present clothing-wise, etc. Although middle-aged people tend to do the same.

I have found the 'line' to be somewhere around 'college-age' in fact. 2 days on a campus of around 30,000 students and I have never had a problem this past two years.

The very young perhaps like 2-7 y/os, certainly when I started, but not so much the past few years. The little 2 y/o whose birthday party we are going to tomorrow always refers me as 'Aunt Nichole.' But, she's known me from birth, hers. 

All-in-all, it's a crap-shoot, with observers and the trans-people.

But the absolute worst to 'pass' with are teenagers, particularly 13-16 y/o girls in groups. They are also most likely to comment about how one looks. Regardless the flak I have been given about them by a couple of posters, they notice a lot.

BTW, I was happy to see that ellie pointed out that without talking about 'passing' you can hardly have the thread. Because if people are identifying one as female, then they are not identifying one as 'man in a dress.'

Rach, parents are the worst. Well, one's own parents. They are gonna probably always see their 'son.' Even if they don't. 

Nichole

Quote from: Nichole on March 07, 2008, 12:40:08 PM
Rach, parents are the worst. Well, one's own parents. They are gonna probably always see their 'son.' Even if they don't. 

Do you think that would change after a long period apart, especially if transition takes place during said period, or would that make it worse? I honestly can't decide on that one.