I'm just curious? I went to different therapist they're always uncomfortable with me. Just almost as much as I am uncomfortable with my situation. I've had people who have tried to ignore or avert the conversation that were supposed to be my therapist. First time last month I had the nerve to actually mention it in my evaluation both people were completely obsessed with the fact that I am attracted to men and that I had enjoyed relationships with men in the past one tried to convince if I find the right guy then I'd be happy with myself and that I had low self esteem. My issue is not that. I actually like the person I appear to be and I have no issue with women. The thing I have an issue with is pretty convoluded. I have tried to ignore that I'm really a guy for almost 15 years since I was 10. I knew at that point that I wasn't a girl innately. And it only took that long because I never had men in my life I didn't have a dad and my grandfather was a really evil guy. I actually associated men with something kind of bad. Anyhow when I was a child I associated more with boys in a sense I always knew I was a boy back then oddly but I didn't really know what it meant. Since I was physically female. The thing is I could never run far enough before being reminded that yes I am a guy. Well late in 2016 I got a dna test that showed I have a y chromosome. In 2017 I got another test that confirmed I have a small percentage of xy genome like less than 10% in my saliva. That's the only only type of test I've had done. I was told by dr. after showing these results that I am probably a chimera. It's not that surprising my mother said she experienced spotting early in pregnancy. And chimerism can occur with vanishing twin syndrome I'm in the process of seeing several specialist. But not for my mental health on this. For me it's tough because it's like if it's what it seems to be then I am so confused on what to do. And I can't get anyone sensible to talk to about it. I have always felt foreign to my own body and I always thought I was just odd. Kind of like a person without a body. I was told by my pcp that the genome can be more predominant in one part of the body than another. It's hard to talk though about it. I got my last therapist acting like since I don't look too masculine than it must not be affecting me. Like for me it's confusing because like I want to really be myself in a perfect world but a part of me feels like that's never going to be recovered in the way I want it. And that's what's really hard to cope with. But I felt so ignored and like I need to just ignore everything and just conform just because I have this condition but I really feel since finding all this out it complicates an already complicated situation. And it seems too hard for even professionals to deal with. Plus I'm so scared about the way I am mentally to really be open it's like any time I try I get shut down because I have to come in dressed as guy saying I got a girlfriend. I'm too much of a coward to do that because every time I try I just see the female in male clothing it doesn't help me. How can I get a therapis to actually understand and address this?

Your therapists up to this point have just sucked. It can take a long time to find the right one. If you are uncomfortable with someone then drop them and go to a different one. Don't let them take your money.

I've had to change a few therapists before I felt I had a good match. No therapist should ever tell any patient to just accept things the way they are. They are there for your mental health, nothing else. I'm not sure if this applies to you or your insurance. But mine has clear wording in the policy that Any intersex condition is exempt from the usual waiting periods than transgender alone is required. It may be worth looking at your policy.

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It might be worth it to look into specialists - not all psychiatrists/therapists are versed in all fields. A typical therapist may not have the knowledge to help with gender identity or anything related to what you are going through right now. Going to someone who has no idea what you're talking about will result in confusion all around, and will be of no help to you, as you have found. The key is to find someone who is knowledgable, or at least who is open to doing the research in order to help you.

Have you discussed your mental health with the doctor/s that diagnosed you? Are you officially diagnosed? Might want to start there. I would assume that a doctor who could diagnose this would be able to recommend a specialist to help with the mental aspect of things.

I have some experience with therapy, including botched therapy - the one experience that wasn't so great is sort of related to this, in that i came out as trans and instead of going to a gender therapist my mom insisted we see a regular therapist (who also happened to be hers.) Don't get me wrong, the woman was nice... but she didn't really know anything about trans or gender identity. And i sort of feel like she had more of a connection to my mom. Our family sessions where very out of control, she wasn't giving good advice to them, and overall it was not a helpful experience. We ended up stopping, and i wound up doing nothing for a few years because of how discouraged i was.

My current therapist is a specialist, and he's been great. I'm super comfortable with him and he's been nothing but helpful. Having someone who is knowledgable and experienced has made it a great experience. Even my mom likes him, and i'm pretty sure my dad does too (even if he isn't thrilled with the whole therapy thing in general). So, again, having someone who knows what they're talking about is key. And even then it may take one or two tries to find a person that you feel comfortable with. I feel as though i got lucky with him.

But don't give up just yet. Look around for a different therapist, maybe someone who is at least versed in gender or gender identity. Talk to the regular doctors about your diagnosis and ask them for recommendations.

At least GIC therapists are trained in psych matters on gender and won't be as dismissive as these others.

There are specialists in Gender Therapy online that use Skype for their sessions. Not as good as in person but far better than having someone who's religion clouds their judgement. I don't mean to single them out but in my lifetime we have never taken peoples rights away. We have always expanded on rights. These days we value prejudice as self righteousness.

Quote from: Alexthecat on January 13, 2018, 05:18:57 AM
Your therapists up to this point have just sucked. It can take a long time to find the right one. If you are uncomfortable with someone then drop them and go to a different one. Don't let them take your money.

yeah I stopped going to him after the first session but now I have to wait a whole month to try again to find someone good

Quote from: Sarahthenerd on January 13, 2018, 06:31:25 AM
I've had to change a few therapists before I felt I had a good match. No therapist should ever tell any patient to just accept things the way they are. They are there for your mental health, nothing else. I'm not sure if this applies to you or your insurance. But mine has clear wording in the policy that Any intersex condition is exempt from the usual waiting periods than transgender alone is required. It may be worth looking at your policy.

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I got Medicaid bad insurance basically. They don't even know what a gender therapist is everytime I ask about it...

Quote from: dmj23 on January 13, 2018, 06:16:15 PM
I got Medicaid bad insurance basically. They don't even know what a gender therapist is everytime I ask about it...

Medicaid coverage varies state to state, but they all should cover mental health. Sometimes it's necessary to travel to find a good therapist. Just keep looking.

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You could try contacting any local trans groups and ask them for a list of therapists they recommend. Then you can call each one and see if they accept your insurance. The leader of the group close to me knows probably a dozen+ trans friendly ones. Do keep in mind just because a trans person had a good experience at one therapist doesn't mean you automatically will.

I don't get why every time I call the member services number they say they don't know what a gender therapist is. So I don't really know how to go about looking for one. I actually was referred to the lgbt center then they sent me to the community counseling center and that was my last experience which was a really bad evaluation and a really bad session that I wouldn't repeat.

I didn't the pcp I asked for a referral for seemed kind of upset and confused when I said I struggled with the issue concerning my condition. And I haven't gotten an official diagnosis yet. But my pcps did say I most likely had a chimeric condition that involved both xx and xy karyotypes. I won't get an official diagnosis until I see the geneticist which I'm in the process of doing.

Quote from: TK9NY on January 13, 2018, 10:01:18 AM
It might be worth it to look into specialists - not all psychiatrists/therapists are versed in all fields. A typical therapist may not have the knowledge to help with gender identity or anything related to what you are going through right now. Going to someone who has no idea what you're talking about will result in confusion all around, and will be of no help to you, as you have found. The key is to find someone who is knowledgable, or at least who is open to doing the research in order to help you.

Have you discussed your mental health with the doctor/s that diagnosed you? Are you officially diagnosed? Might want to start there. I would assume that a doctor who could diagnose this would be able to recommend a specialist to help with the mental aspect of things.

I have some experience with therapy, including botched therapy - the one experience that wasn't so great is sort of related to this, in that i came out as trans and instead of going to a gender therapist my mom insisted we see a regular therapist (who also happened to be hers.) Don't get me wrong, the woman was nice... but she didn't really know anything about trans or gender identity. And i sort of feel like she had more of a connection to my mom. Our family sessions where very out of control, she wasn't giving good advice to them, and overall it was not a helpful experience. We ended up stopping, and i wound up doing nothing for a few years because of how discouraged i was.

My current therapist is a specialist, and he's been great. I'm super comfortable with him and he's been nothing but helpful. Having someone who is knowledgable and experienced has made it a great experience. Even my mom likes him, and i'm pretty sure my dad does too (even if he isn't thrilled with the whole therapy thing in general). So, again, having someone who knows what they're talking about is key. And even then it may take one or two tries to find a person that you feel comfortable with. I feel as though i got lucky with him.

But don't give up just yet. Look around for a different therapist, maybe someone who is at least versed in gender or gender identity. Talk to the regular doctors about your diagnosis and ask them for recommendations.

Yesah it helps me none to give up but it just is every evaluation I have to wait a while to get another therapist.

Quote from: Alexthecat on January 14, 2018, 04:22:32 AM
You could try contacting any local trans groups and ask them for a list of therapists they recommend. Then you can call each one and see if they accept your insurance. The leader of the group close to me knows probably a dozen+ trans friendly ones. Do keep in mind just because a trans person had a good experience at one therapist doesn't mean you automatically will.

That's kind of the problem. In researching available resources across the US there were many states, mostly Southern that do not have any kind of support. And as prejudice takes over it will only get worse. We have to reverse the trend.

Quote from: DawnOday on January 13, 2018, 10:27:54 AM
There are specialists in Gender Therapy online that use Skype for their sessions. Not as good as in person but far better than having someone who's religion clouds their judgement. I don't mean to single them out but in my lifetime we have never taken peoples rights away. We have always expanded on rights. These days we value prejudice as self righteousness.

My issue was not religion I don't think at all. Just that my last therapists couldn't really address it. I said it to one of my therapist that I do identify as male that I know I really am a man but I guess I confused her because I was dressed as a very pretty female. But I have never been ready to really make the steps to go in that direction. And I wasn't seeing her for this issue rather others. Then the ones I was referred to from the lgbt center were used to other types of people like drug addicts I think so for me it was hard to really talk about my issue they didn't really deal with that there. It was never seeming to be religion rather just inequiptness and my last therapist focused so much on me needing date more guys when that's not my issue.

Quote from: dmj23 on January 14, 2018, 03:45:09 PM

My issue was not religion I don't think at all. Just that my last therapists couldn't really address it. I said it to one of my therapist that I do identify as male that I know I really am a man but I guess I confused her because I was dressed as a very pretty female. But I have never been ready to really make the steps to go in that direction. And I wasn't seeing her for this issue rather others. Then the ones I was referred to from the lgbt center were used to other types of people like drug addicts I think so for me it was hard to really talk about my issue they didn't really deal with that there. It was never seeming to be religion rather just inequiptness and my last therapist focused so much on me needing date more guys when that's not my issue.

So much of our disapproval is due to religious beliefs. To the point that politicians say we should be put to death. These are Christians saying that. 

Quote from: Sarahthenerd on January 13, 2018, 07:08:46 PM
Medicaid coverage varies state to state, but they all should cover mental health. Sometimes it's necessary to travel to find a good therapist. Just keep looking.

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well today is my day off so I'm going to look up the list I was given at the center. What's frustrating is that I get a lot of people at my Amerigroup number not knowing what a gender therapist is. But I am trying to search outside of my pcp and Medicaid group

Quote from: Alexthecat on January 14, 2018, 04:22:32 AM
You could try contacting any local trans groups and ask them for a list of therapists they recommend. Then you can call each one and see if they accept your insurance. The leader of the group close to me knows probably a dozen+ trans friendly ones. Do keep in mind just because a trans person had a good experience at one therapist doesn't mean you automatically will.

I am just too much of a coward tbh because when I go to groups for transgender people always are confused about me sometimes like the faab ones did know originally that I was just trying to come to terms with it and all that but then sometimes like the last time I went I was dressed pretty neutrally but I have long curly hair and I don't wear a binder and I naturally look female when I was in group most of the time I am not known on what I actually am I'm so private about it because I'm really ashamed about it. I think I'd be less ashamed if I were attracted to women even if it were to a lesser extent. But for me it's like what does it say about me. So it's hard to really get anything I called once one of the ladies there said she'd send something I never received it. Then my last visit to the group last week I asked about a list of therapists that Medicaid allowed that actually weren't as creepy and ignorant as the last therapists experiences. And she said she had a list after group then when I asked after group she left. And I had to ask the receptionist who did give me a list but idk how many actually take Medicaid.

Quote from: DawnOday on January 14, 2018, 12:33:43 PM
That's kind of the problem. In researching available resources across the US there were many states, mostly Southern that do not have any kind of support. And as prejudice takes over it will only get worse. We have to reverse the trend.

I'm in Las Vegas Nevada. It's not the south but many of the people are conservative it is a red state for a reason.

Quote from: DawnOday on January 14, 2018, 09:21:03 PM
So much of our disapproval is due to religious beliefs. To the point that politicians say we should be put to death. These are Christians saying that.

Yeah I'm Muslim. I've never been put in Christian based therapy. Because I don't believe in it anyway. I guess that's the bright side of it.


Plus people who are religious don't usually have much issue with me because I don't crossdress now and I like guys so I'm ignored or laughed at basically. Maybe I am a joke. Maybe I'm just following a sickness I don't know. I just looked up that people with autism are lgbt usually. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I have never been diagnosed with it. But I don't have I guess normal feelings other people have I tend to be happy sticking to myself. It's easiest to keep it simple when you're in the worst situations possible and everyone makes the worst decisions and you make none just to not sink. I am a bit of a shell of a person. Maybe I should ignore it. I just think every time I ignore it I always end up revisiting it.