Quote from: Shambles on January 16, 2018, 04:01:27 PM
Im considered a bit strange with pizzas as i dont have cheese on mine

Pizza with no CHEESE, Geez!

God, I love my sister so much. Last night I talked to her for about 2 and a half hours, just truly talking. It was one of those wonderfully bittersweet life moments.

So I've mentioned this before, but my sister is an absolutely gorgeous girl, who is sweet and kind, brilliant and funny. She truly has it all. But for some reason, she just can't see it. She is plagued by doubt about everything, and in her words is just so very lonely. She is close to me and my step-brother, but that's no substitute for friends her own age, which... well, she just doesn't have. She is a deep person, caring about those in need in not just a sympathetic way, but truly empathetic. So it doesn't help that most of the girls and guys around here are as shallow and stuck up as they come. It's a community with a large, and very binary, divide between the rich white island brats, and far poorer, primarily black and Latino, kid on the mainland. But they all go to the same high school, because there is not one on the island. She doesn't have anything in common with the island kids, but yet because she is a pretty white girl everyone else assumes she's just another one of them, so she's stuck, unwanted by either group. In a desperate attempt just to make a friend to talk to, she started talking to a boy she met at some summer College experience "camp". She just wanted a friend, he had ideas of more. I'll skip the details (nothing salacious, they only met in person for a whole 5 minutes), but that went sour (in a completely innocent way) and he was just another in a long line of "failed" friendships. After radio silence for a few months, the guy randomly messages her and starts talking to her again and she thinks "Oh, he took everything to heart maybe and this time I can just have a friend to talk to again". I don't think I even really need to say not much had changed.

So last night, she comes to me asking for advice about sending a text to him, sort of confronting him about some stuff from before and from now because he was doing it again. (Suffice to say, while a lot of it isn't really a big deal unless you're a teenager, there was one thing he did that was a 100% jerk move that impacted her in the real world that was completely a big deal, and she had a very good reason to be irritated with him.) We wound up just talking. About her need to confront him, about her loneliness and fear that she would always be lonely, about how she felt when people called her stupid because all they could see was a pretty girl that didn't fit the stereotype for being smart (and she wondering if they were right, despite the fact she is easily smarter than 99% of them by even official testing standards), about all sorts of things. I told her a bit about some of what I've read on this forum (in very broad strokes), about people dealing with their marriages or relationships while coming out, maintaining friendships, and just about the general struggle that so many here go through. It made me realize too that all of our fears, of not finding someone to accept us, of being attractive or passing, of being treated with respect, are hardly just trans issues. But yeah. We just talked (and talked, and talked). Even a bit about guys (in the abstract for my part for now ).

It kills me so much that such a wonderful person can't see how wonderful she truly is and how much she has to offer the world. (And that goes for a lot of you here too! You know who you are!) I'm truly proud to call her my sister, and grateful to have her in my life, and her be accepting of me. I would give anything for her to be happy, and I hope that getting out of here and being in a college setting this Fall will help her see the world beyond both this island and high school. (Though I also worry that because Freshmen aren't quite yet far enough removed from the HS/teen mentality, she will be alone but also isolated depending on which school she chooses to go to. One of her top choices is in Atlanta, which would be a massive relief to me if she choose to go there since I plan to head up there myself. She'd be out on her own, but in the case of an emergency she would have a safety net nearby with both me and my younger brother. Plus I just like being near her for my own sake. )

I also had another realization... Even though we've spoken like this many times, even before I recognized myself... this wasn't a little sister - big brother conversation. This was a little sister - big sister conversation.

Nice.

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 12:25:09 PM
God, I love my sister so much. Last night I talked to her for about 2 and a half hours, just truly talking. It was one of those wonderfully bittersweet life moments.

So I've mentioned this before, but my sister is an absolutely gorgeous girl, who is sweet and kind, brilliant and funny. She truly has it all. But for some reason, she just can't see it. She is plagued by doubt about everything, and in her words is just so very lonely. She is close to me and my step-brother, but that's no substitute for friends her own age, which... well, she just doesn't have. She is a deep person, caring about those in need in not just a sympathetic way, but truly empathetic. So it doesn't help that most of the girls and guys around here are as shallow and stuck up as they come. It's a community with a large, and very binary, divide between the rich white island brats, and far poorer, primarily black and Latino, kid on the mainland. But they all go to the same high school, because there is not one on the island. She doesn't have anything in common with the island kids, but yet because she is a pretty white girl everyone else assumes she's just another one of them, so she's stuck, unwanted by either group. In a desperate attempt just to make a friend to talk to, she started talking to a boy she met at some summer College experience "camp". She just wanted a friend, he had ideas of more. I'll skip the details (nothing salacious, they only met in person for a whole 5 minutes), but that went sour (in a completely innocent way) and he was just another in a long line of "failed" friendships. After radio silence for a few months, the guy randomly messages her and starts talking to her again and she thinks "Oh, he took everything to heart maybe and this time I can just have a friend to talk to again". I don't think I even really need to say not much had changed.

So last night, she comes to me asking for advice about sending a text to him, sort of confronting him about some stuff from before and from now because he was doing it again. (Suffice to say, while a lot of it isn't really a big deal unless you're a teenager, there was one thing he did that was a 100% jerk move that impacted her in the real world that was completely a big deal, and she had a very good reason to be irritated with him.) We wound up just talking. About her need to confront him, about her loneliness and fear that she would always be lonely, about how she felt when people called her stupid because all they could see was a pretty girl that didn't fit the stereotype for being smart (and she wondering if they were right, despite the fact she is easily smarter than 99% of them by even official testing standards), about all sorts of things. I told her a bit about some of what I've read on this forum (in very broad strokes), about people dealing with their marriages or relationships while coming out, maintaining friendships, and just about the general struggle that so many here go through. It made me realize too that all of our fears, of not finding someone to accept us, of being attractive or passing, of being treated with respect, are hardly just trans issues. But yeah. We just talked (and talked, and talked). Even a bit about guys (in the abstract for my part for now ).

It kills me so much that such a wonderful person can't see how wonderful she truly is and how much she has to offer the world. (And that goes for a lot of you here too! You know who you are!) I'm truly proud to call her my sister, and grateful to have her in my life, and her be accepting of me. I would give anything for her to be happy, and I hope that getting out of here and being in a college setting this Fall will help her see the world beyond both this island and high school. (Though I also worry that because Freshmen aren't quite yet far enough removed from the HS/teen mentality, she will be alone but also isolated depending on which school she chooses to go to. One of her top choices is in Atlanta, which would be a massive relief to me if she choose to go there since I plan to head up there myself. She'd be out on her own, but in the case of an emergency she would have a safety net nearby with both me and my younger brother. Plus I just like being near her for my own sake. )

I also had another realization... Even though we've spoken like this many times, even before I recognized myself... this wasn't a little sister - big brother conversation. This was a little sister - big sister conversation.

I wish I had an older sister as kind and understanding as you.  My older sisters are psychos in their own ways and i don't think I've had a heartfelt conversation like you describe, that didn't devolve into a competition or degradation session, with either of them since ... well ever.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 12:25:09 PM
I also had another realization... Even though we've spoken like this many times, even before I recognized myself... this wasn't a little sister - big brother conversation. This was a little sister - big sister conversation.

Awwww!  That's sweet!  *sniff*

I think you'd be a fun and awesome older sister. I dearly love my older brother and he does and has given me very good advice but it would be awesome to have a sister too who I could talk about clothes, makeup, hot guys, etc and have spa days with, shop with and all the other fun stuff my brother is useless for doing.

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 12:25:09 PMthis wasn't a little sister - big brother conversation. This was a little sister - big sister conversation.

My real sister and I are a lot closer than we used to be, but she's very busy and a long ways away. That's why it was so wonderful when I discovered another sister close to me who I've been able to have those deeply meaningful conversations with. Cassie and I aren't actually related, but we have developed that kind of family closeness. Though she's substantially younger than I, she has an intellectual and emotional maturity that I think I lack, to the point that I sometimes feel like the little sister. And that's more than ok, it's really nice.

Those who've read my thread or hers know that recently we've spent hours and hours just talking about anything and everything, and sharing secrets nobody else in the world knows. I'm so lucky that she came into my life. I wish everyone had a confidant like her. It's so cool that you've been able to develop that kind of relationship with your birth sister.

Stephanie

I too would have loved a sister, but love my elder and younger brothers so much as they are fully supporting me and I have open invitations to go and stay with them and their families already. Still a sister would have been nice, especially an older one with lots of clothes and make up etc etc etc. I suppose many of my girlfriends were sort of sisters in a way, I always had a sort of sharing gossipy relationship with them. Oh well..
Mind you I think all of you would be great sisters for me
Katie

Out of all the various siblings from both blended families, I think my sister and I are the most alike. In the way we make (or don't make) friends, look for deeper connections, in certain atypical social behaviors (even as a teen I had zero desire to drink or smoke or hang out with the kids who did, she's the same way), in our senses of humor (everything weird I say, she would say too), and so on and so on. I'm quite a bit nerdier, while in a lot of ways she is very much a girlie-girl, but even then I think I might have a growing propensity for the latter and she is more of the former than she likes to let on (despite herself she always loves Marvel movies, is obsessed with Sherlock, etc.).

I've mentioned it before, but being able to spend so much time with her over the past 3 years has probably played a large part in my coming to terms with being trans, as I've been able to see a glimpse of what I might have been like being AFAB.

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 03:30:47 PM
Out of all the various siblings from both blended families, I think my sister and I are the most alike. In the way we make (or don't make) friends, look for deeper connections, in certain atypical social behaviors (even as a teen I had zero desire to drink or smoke or hang out with the kids who did, she's the same way), in our senses of humor (everything weird I say, she would say too), and so on and so on. I'm quite a bit nerdier, while in a lot of ways she is very much a girlie-girl, but even then I think I might have a growing propensity for the latter and she is more of the former than she likes to let on (despite herself she always loves Marvel movies, is obsessed with Sherlock, etc.).

I've mentioned it before, but being able to spend so much time with her over the past 3 years has probably played a large part in my coming to terms with being trans, as I've been able to see a glimpse of what I might have been like being AFAB.

I was a super hero girl, before it was cool to be a super hero fan, even presenting as a normal ish CIS guy didnt help with that LOL growing up as a  teen for me was just as lonely because we'll liking super heroes just wasnt cool at the time :s and also video gaming seems to have gotten cooler then it was back in those days so i didnt really have that many friends growing up either

Now its common place to be a video gamer or to like Super Hero films/TV Shows .... even Sci fi is alot cooler these days but back growing up it was a lonely place LOL

Something you said above that people only saw a pretty girl, for me its  people only see a simple biggish guy, and ive always had trouble making friends because of it also

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 03:30:47 PM
Out of all the various siblings from both blended families, I think my sister and I are the most alike. In the way we make (or don't make) friends, look for deeper connections, in certain atypical social behaviors (even as a teen I had zero desire to drink or smoke or hang out with the kids who did, she's the same way), in our senses of humor (everything weird I say, she would say too), and so on and so on. I'm quite a bit nerdier, while in a lot of ways she is very much a girlie-girl, but even then I think I might have a growing propensity for the latter and she is more of the former than she likes to let on (despite herself she always loves Marvel movies, is obsessed with Sherlock, etc.).

I've mentioned it before, but being able to spend so much time with her over the past 3 years has probably played a large part in my coming to terms with being trans, as I've been able to see a glimpse of what I might have been like being AFAB.

She likes sherlock Holmes ? For real?? Sherlock Holmes is a total sleeping pill!😵😵😵😵

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 17, 2018, 03:55:07 PM
She likes sherlock Holmes ? For real?? Sherlock Holmes is a total sleeping pill!😵😵😵😵

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 04:22:20 PM
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!

Is that some British cucumber dish??

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 04:22:20 PM
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!

Arnold?

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 17, 2018, 03:55:07 PM
She likes sherlock Holmes ? For real?? Sherlock Holmes is a total sleeping pill!😵😵😵😵

While i havent seen Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes, im generally shy of procedurals and this is what i kind of imagine what its like :s

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 17, 2018, 04:27:13 PM
Is that some British cucumber dish??

Hah, sexiest man alive:)

Ellie, I love that you are having these conversations with your sister.  Your dynamic is better than mine and my sister I think and ours is awesome.  Now when is the conversation with you telling her about your crush!

Bari Jo

Quote from: Christy Lee on January 17, 2018, 05:12:30 PM
While i havent seen Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes, im generally shy of procedurals and this is what i kind of imagine what its like :s

Ok, I looked the guy up when I realized it was a person. Sexiest man alive? ? Yeah.....he's totally not my type at all. He looks like really thin. I like muscles.

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 17, 2018, 06:03:22 PM
Ok, I looked the guy up when I realized it was a person. Sexiest man alive? ? Yeah.....he's totally not my type at all. He looks like really thin. I like muscles.

I think his hot but, tho i like muscles too

Julia. Watch:

Quote from: Roll on January 17, 2018, 07:36:02 PM
Julia. Watch:

That was funny. But I have to say after seeing him live I find him even more unattractive. Hot guys are like Chris Hemsworth and Channing Tatum. I didn't watch magic Mike or Thor for the plot. Lol