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When did you start getting male fail?

Started by Charlie Nicki, January 23, 2018, 07:58:55 AM

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Charlie Nicki

So around what month of HRT did you get to that point?
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Colleen_definitely

As our ashes turn to dust, we shine like stars...
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JillianC

I'm a late bloomer so around month 10.  Growing noticeable breasts definitely helped.
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Denise

Interesting question.

The first male fail for me was pre HRT wearing guy jeans and a hoodie with no makeup.  I'm a firm believer that attitude and presentation (movements, clothes, stance, ...) Are as important.

Feminine hair style counts for a lot too.

Consider the 50 foot (15m) back-lit test.  When you see a person that far away with the sun behind them you probably can tell their gender identity. 

Sure boobs, softer skin, makeup, styled hair helps but attitude is just as important.

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1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.
The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise
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KathyLauren

I never got an actual male fail in public.  However, by month three, I knew I could no longer wear T-shirts, which pretty much committed me to going full-time before summer.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Doreen

Quote from: Denise on January 23, 2018, 08:11:17 AM
Interesting question.

The first male fail for me was pre HRT wearing guy jeans and a hoodie with no makeup.  I'm a firm believer that attitude and presentation (movements, clothes, stance, ...) Are as important.

Feminine hair style counts for a lot too.

Consider the 50 foot (15m) back-lit test.  When you see a person that far away with the sun behind them you probably can tell their gender identity. 

Sure boobs, softer skin, makeup, styled hair helps but attitude is just as important.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

My first was... like 50/50 when I was out in public as a kid.  I got mammed alot.  Happened less in high school though I suspect having buzzed off hair forced on me had something to do with that.  In college? Throw on a wig I was mammed alot again.  Hair finally grew out, now its like 99.9% of the time. I leave that 0.1% because .. well you never know.  Then again I know cis women that fair far worse.
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Jessica

I know most women think catcalls are rude and obnoxious, but I'm looking forward to being whistled at.  Is that just residual male thoughts that think women like it and take it as a compliment?  In my male life, I would never consider disrespecting a woman like that, but as a woman it kinda thrills me.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Mikaela

Quote from: Denise on January 23, 2018, 08:11:17 AM
Interesting question.

The first male fail for me was pre HRT wearing guy jeans and a hoodie with no makeup.  I'm a firm believer that attitude and presentation (movements, clothes, stance, ...) Are as important.

Feminine hair style counts for a lot too.

Consider the 50 foot (15m) back-lit test.  When you see a person that far away with the sun behind them you probably can tell their gender identity. 

Sure boobs, softer skin, makeup, styled hair helps but attitude is just as important.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

Excellent insight. Gives me something to think about. Thank you!


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amberwaves

I hit male fail somewhere between 3 and 4 months.  Started off as an occasional, but by 6 months it was pretty much constantly.  So much for easing into transition.

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Julia1996

I pretty much had male fail before hrt but there were some people who got confused. After about 2 months of hrt I had complete male fail meaning I passed completely with people who didn't know me.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Colleen_definitely

Quote from: Denise on January 23, 2018, 08:11:17 AM
I'm a firm believer that attitude and presentation (movements, clothes, stance, ...) Are as important.


So far that's exactly what I've found as well.

If you waddle like a duck, act like a duck, dress like a duck, and even better quack like a duck then people are going to assume you're a duck even if you're a slightly fuzzy and kind of goofy looking duck.  (like me with stubble before an electrolysis session)

Confidence is huge as well.  Going out of your way to avoid eye contact and whatnot merely arouses suspicion. 
As our ashes turn to dust, we shine like stars...
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Jessica_Rose

I had my first one just a few days ago, on 19 Jan, and I was not even trying. On HRT for 10 months, no make-up, women's jeans, men's polo shirt, women's jacket, and I had been letting my hair grow since Dec 2016. It really felt great!
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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stmoraza

Maybe something irrelevant: Before I ever transitioned and began estrogen I was referred to as "she" in one situation. That was a time when I was trying to suppress my dysphora and was trying to live a life as a man. It was in an office hour and one classmate referred me in this way. I was wearing man's clothes at that time, so I guess it could be my feminine posture.

Feeling: Euphoria.
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amberwaves

Pre-hormones by a few months I went out presenting female and passed just fine a few times.  As I understand it though male fail refers to bring gendered female despite presenting male (or at least neutral). Though I would point out that I had been growing my hair out for almost two years prior to discovering my gender issues, so I probably had a leg up on most.  It just seems like there is some leeway within this thread as to what male fail is.

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Claire_Sydney

I don't believe anyone was no longer able to pass as male after 3-4 months of HRT.

I've been on HRT for 3 years, had FFS and SRS, and had a few intimate rendezvous with guys who had no idea I am trans. 

But I'm pretty sure if I put some effort into it, I could still pass as male.
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Colleen_definitely

Quote from: Claire_Sydney on January 25, 2018, 09:00:57 AM
I don't believe anyone was no longer able to pass as male after 3-4 months of HRT.

That's not what a male fail is at all.  Male fail is when people start calling you by female pronouns while presenting male.  It's not necessarily a constant thing. 
As our ashes turn to dust, we shine like stars...
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Charlie Nicki

Yeah I was mostly asking when after starting HRT and still presenting male, people read you as female. Not if it happened when you were a kid cuz you had long hair lol.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Sno

Oh Lordy, we need HRT to male fail?


Rowan
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Allison S

I haven't gotten to this point where I could just leave my house in whatever which way and be gendered correctly (I wish). But I think generally it does take time on hormones and even ffs for some.

I think also depends on the surgeon's work. But it's possible.

I just noticed after 4 months someone called me sir from the back and then as she came around to the counter to make my coffee she called me sweetheart. That was so affirming to me!! Even though I prefer "miss", I'll take sweetheart for now!

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and5678

I was about 3 months in when a friend of mine said I had the "worst bubble butt" she's ever seen. I still remember that... I was both embarrassed and happy at the same time. I was laying on my side in her dorm room bed and she just noticed the curves then...  :)
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