Quote from: Kendra on January 18, 2018, 12:25:04 AM
Sadie, if you do indeed stand outside the nearest bus stop tomorrow to catch your bus I am there with you.  I can identify with how we work so hard to become confident in one or many things, but waiting at the neighborhood bus stop does indeed seem to be a different category.  We know how challenging this can be - it is mountain climbing.

Peace and love and strength to you - and go tackle the world, as you are.

Thanks for the extra oxygen tank Kendra I got to second base camp by about midday, the Hillary Step a little while later then made a move for the summit. The flag has been successfully planted that pesky bus stop is mine

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

YAY ! She came! She saw! She conquered!

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2018, 09:14:51 AM
YAY ! She came! She saw! She conquered!

Hugs,
   Laurie

Only with the help of everyone here:) Every word of encouragement, every brave story I read, every kind word spoken gets me to where I need to be

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Down the drag strip many times , started in 79 in street car and then late 90s in my pro et Austin winning super series pro et championship in 2000 and runner up in 01.  built a sling shot with my chum and drove that but never took a bike down the strip. Did you catch that bus, lasso or spike strip?

Quote from: davina61 on January 18, 2018, 04:16:46 PM
Down the drag strip many times , started in 79 in street car and then late 90s in my pro et Austin winning super series pro et championship in 2000 and runner up in 01.  built a sling shot with my chum and drove that but never took a bike down the strip. Did you catch that bus, lasso or spike strip?

Wowsers Davina, seriously you the girl!!! Top speed ever? First time down the track must have been somethin.

I used knicker elastic stretched between two lamp posts, the bus never stood a chance Seriously it was quite a step for me, silly really as I've been full time for year but it meant something.

Peace and love

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

  Damn right it meant something Sadie. It wasn't just a but stop, it was your nemesis and you defeated it by challenging yourself to overcome your discomfort. You let it beat you for more than a year and now you've won! That is something worth doing. You go girl.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

Quote from: Shy on January 18, 2018, 08:23:24 AM
Thanks for the extra oxygen tank Kendra I got to second base camp by about midday, the Hillary Step a little while later then made a move for the summit. The flag has been successfully planted that pesky bus stop is mine

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Congratulations, Sadie!  Another big step out into the world, and another pesky obstacle conquered!

Well done.  Well Done!

When I first came out, I think I must have spent a week plotting how I would park my car and sprint across the lot into my therapists office.  I probably overthought it, as nobody much gave a damn.   

Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2018, 05:00:12 PM
  Damn right it meant something Sadie. It wasn't just a but stop, it was your nemesis and you defeated it by challenging yourself to overcome your discomfort. You let it beat you for more than a year and now you've won! That is something worth doing. You go girl.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

Thanks Laurie,

I doubt I'll ever get over my discomfort, the hum of social anxiety through autism will follow me around wherever I go.  I am however starting to separate the social challenges of being a trans woman and the anxiety that manifests through Asberger's.
For a while I couldn't and everything got too much, but slowly things are starting to make sense for me. I'm starting to forgive myself for past failings and learning to adjust to the brave new world I find myself in so late in life.
Bit by bit, day by day I'm getting there, wherever there is, that's where I'm headed

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Sadie,
You wonderful brave woman. Well done. That bus stop trip was a biggie.

Quote from: Michelle_P on January 18, 2018, 05:28:56 PM
Congratulations, Sadie!  Another big step out into the world, and another pesky obstacle conquered!

Well done.  Well Done!

When I first came out, I think I must have spent a week plotting how I would park my car and sprint across the lot into my therapists office.  I probably overthought it, as nobody much gave a damn.   

Thank you Michelle,

It's strange, I've been full time for a year now, and as soon as I'm 50 yards down the road out of my neighbourhood I completely forget I'm trans and go about my daily business. Sure I get dysphoria from time to time, usually about my height, or if i'm mis gendered, but for the most part i'm happy being Sadie.
I guess I haven't integrated with my local community just yet, It's amazing how invisible I can be and still be full time. Ninja's have nothing on me
So it's slow and steady, I lack confidence socially anyway but slowly i'm beginning to forge the tools I need to navigate this crazy world.

Hope you are well and have a wonderful day:)

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Cindy on January 19, 2018, 05:24:48 AM
Sadie,
You wonderful brave woman. Well done. That bus stop trip was a biggie.

Thank you Cindy

If I wasn't such a good girl I'd tag that pesky bus stop with "Sadie woz ere!"

Have an awesome day, whatever you get up to Cindy. And thank you again

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on January 19, 2018, 05:29:41 AM
Thank you Michelle,

It's strange, I've been full time for a year now, and as soon as I'm 50 yards down the road out of my neighbourhood I completely forget I'm trans and go about my daily business. Sure I get dysphoria from time to time, usually about my height, or if i'm mis gendered, but for the most part i'm happy being Sadie.
I guess I haven't integrated with my local community just yet, It's amazing how invisible I can be and still be full time. Ninja's have nothing on me
So it's slow and steady, I lack confidence socially anyway but slowly i'm beginning to forge the tools I need to navigate this crazy world.

Hope you are well and have a wonderful day:)

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

I totally understand that.  I spent several months "almost full time", being myself whenever I was not home or in my home town. I had some trouble in my own head about being myself at the local grocery or gas station, and of course I had spouse problems within my own house that forbade this.

It took me a while. I actually moved towns when I went full time, and it was a couple months before I returned to my old town as myself, for a holiday party I was determined to be 'out' at.

One of the most interesting things about transition are the obstacles that we create for ourselves.  Often stuff with no rational reason for being an obstacle gets built into one in our own minds, and it can be hard to get past that.  We seem to seize on these things and keep chewing on them, rather than leave them behind and move on with our lives.

The human mind is a very odd thing...

You own that bus stop!!!! As one speedy lady have run best et 11.2 (116 mph?) in the dragster and 11.4 at 120 in my car.

Hi Sadie,

  I understand that full time and still having a bit of angst in some situations. One of mine is with my local Bank. They are nice folk there and helpful but I seldom have need to go into it. I want to to see if I can get another authorized user (me) because I doubt the will change the account name until it is legal and who the heck knows when or even if that will happen. I've thought about it for months now but have yet to walk through those doors.
  Another is taking my pickup in to get fixed at the dealer so I can get it registered and I am running out of time.
Women's restrooms and dressing rooms are still unknown territory for the most part and therefore off limits.
  We hall have our personal challenges. You are no difference and I am happy you have overcome one of yours.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Michelle_P on January 19, 2018, 02:18:38 PM

One of the most interesting things about transition are the obstacles that we create for ourselves.  Often stuff with no rational reason for being an obstacle gets built into one in our own minds, and it can be hard to get past that.  We seem to seize on these things and keep chewing on them, rather than leave them behind and move on with our lives.

The human mind is a very odd thing...

It's a bit like navigating uncharted waters for the first time. Eventually we gather the tools needed for safe passage, a map, a compass, a good crew to take up the slack (Thanks Susan's).

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: davina61 on January 20, 2018, 02:24:14 PM
You own that bus stop!!!! As one speedy lady have run best et 11.2 (116 mph?) in the dragster and 11.4 at 120 in my car.

Woooo Davina,
At what stage do your eyeball pop back into your head 11.4/120 just woooooeeeeee!!!

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Laurie on January 20, 2018, 02:40:02 PM
Hi Sadie,

  I understand that full time and still having a bit of angst in some situations. One of mine is with my local Bank. They are nice folk there and helpful but I seldom have need to go into it. I want to to see if I can get another authorized user (me) because I doubt the will change the account name until it is legal and who the heck knows when or even if that will happen. I've thought about it for months now but have yet to walk through those doors.
  Another is taking my pickup in to get fixed at the dealer so I can get it registered and I am running out of time.
Women's restrooms and dressing rooms are still unknown territory for the most part and therefore off limits.
  We hall have our personal challenges. You are no difference and I am happy you have overcome one of yours.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Good morning Laurie, or is it afternoon or a full solar eclipse that just confuses everybody. Sorry for the tardy reply, I'm still on parental nursing duties. But thankfully they are both starting to recover, slooooowly.

With me the bus stop outside my house was the point of no return, my event horizon, my statement of intent, my threshold to cross.
Because we lack any kind of support for years here in the U.K. we are left with little option but to stand on our own two feet. We risk everything without any kind of care plan in place. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I feel damaged by it, sometimes it feels like a cull, sometimes I feel empowered by it. Either way it is what it is, Sadie's going nowhere, she's a tough old bird.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

  I have some things  I could avail myself of support wise but I don't like where they are. I do not know anyone here locally but that may change soon. Other than Tessa.James that is, and she is about 100 miles away. Also the way I have been for the last several months I could not get myself to meet anyone face to face.  Susan's is my support system if you  discount my appointments at the VA and Christina my electrologist.

  Hope things are still looking up for you, Sadie.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on January 23, 2018, 09:04:22 AM
Hi Sadie,

  I have some things  I could avail myself of support wise but I don't like where they are. I do not know anyone here locally but that may change soon. Other than her Tessa.James that is and she is about 100 miles away. Also the way O have been for the last several months I could not get myself to meet anyone face to face.  Suan's is my support system if you  discount my appoints at the VA and Christina my electrologist.

  Hope things are still looking up for you, Sadie.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Things are fine Laurie, I'm much happier just being me. I find social situations difficult at the best of times but that has little to do with gender.
I'm actually much more confident just being Sadie.
I guess my main worry is that I don't want to justify my existence to those who knew me before I started to socially transition. But really it's all in my head as it hasn't happened yet. So I worry like anyone worries and that little ant thought becomes a 50ft mutant bug eyed monster that shoots laser beams from its butt and eats trans folk for breakfast.
Seriously, i'm doing good. Women are starting to chat with me when I go into town, people ask me directions which gives me great confidence that i'm fitting right in and am approachable. I haven't quite mastered the women at the clothes stores January sale rail though. Then all bets are of.

I hope you are well, soon be spring girl. The winter burgundy nails will soon be replace with something brighter. I do like spring.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

  Well Sadie, I will admit that you are sounding better and that is nice to see. However if you are just putting on a nice front girl.... well just remember what happen to That Woman what's her name Maggie? Meenie? Mouny yeah I think that's it. Anyway she gave me a bad time and if you'll remember she wound up in a hospital. So you best be telling me the straight story. Ya hear? Keep up the good progress girl.

Hugs,
  Laurie