On a technicality I am bi. So I don't feel I'm lying hopefully this therapist isn't as creepy as the last guy I want to set more boundaries hopefully if she choses to respect them then maybe I'll keep coming

Quote from: Viktor on January 20, 2018, 04:53:49 PM
Then you're basically the same as me - I find both sexes attractive but have only dated men, and only really wanted to date men. I would just say you're bi then, it might be easier. But they shouldn't really be digging into sexuality and should be aware that transsexual identity is a separate thing from sexuality at the end of the day.

If I were you I'd just tell them that if they ask - say my sexuality might be relabeled by my identifying as a man but it isn't the cause, and it definitely shouldn't be the focus of the sessions. Maybe even say the fact they are focusing so much on it is making you uncomfortable, you're not there to talk about your sexual attraction. If they are suggesting dating a different sex is going to fix all your problems they don't sound like a good therapist to me.

Quote from: Viktor on January 20, 2018, 04:58:33 PM
While the majority of transmen do seem to like women, the ones that are gay or bi are no means some tiny sliver of the Tmale population. There's plenty of them on this site, for example. I do think some therapists assume this to be the case, and because of that they are incorrectly assuming that sexuality is a major cause of transsexualism...

Yeah I have seen that more lately which has actually helped me to be like it can be done it's not like impossible it's not like if I share that I am transgender that every therapist will demand for me to be in one shape or another not authentic to me. And I really do appreciate the visibility of gay and bisexual transmen. I think maybe because of my past I'm really protective of the whole situation maybe that's sensed by some who have a motive. I just need to find a more knowledgeable therapist.

I need therapy to really get out my feelings for one on the whole other problem that caused all this. Which is just being intersex. And for transitioning. I was talking about it at a support group and I wanted to take the steps forward to transition than stay nontransitioning. But the sexuality part isn't a part that I wanted to be judged or focused on as the reason I want to transition. The best I think option is to avoid and then if I can't just say I'm pan or bi. I used to say I am polysexual actually

Quote from: Magnus on January 20, 2018, 08:50:44 PM
As aforementioned, lying is a risky business with therapists *if* you are relying upon them for your TRT and write-off on surgical procedures. Non-disclosure is best in that situation, simply inform them that topic is not open for discussion/exploration, and that sexual orientation/preference does not have any bearing on your gender identity (which if actually qualified to handle, they should know). On the other hand, this courts the risk of them needling at the topic(s) you are not comfortable discussing. To which if they're unwilling to respect your boundaries, I'd suggest finding another that will.

You should also be aware of the possibility of a therapist's ability to meddle with your TRT via your prescribing physician (the exact modus varies greatly, but it happens/is possible in many jurisdictions). It really is better all around to be forthright or non-disclose, than to be caught out in lying.

Case in point, HIPPA was amended in April 2003 effective that "covered entities" (i.e. providers, insurers) can access your records (including your supposedly confidential therapists notes) and without your express consent to disclose them. All without your even being aware of this happening.

When referred to a provider's therapist for assessment back in 2011, I did not have to sign a disclosure for them to collude with my primary pertaining to my TRT and that diminishment of HIPPA is why (also a huge factor in why I chose informed consent, other than that I simply don't like psychotherapy).

Just saying, tread very carefully with shrinks.

Quote from: Roll on January 20, 2018, 11:03:37 PM
My therapist has avoided the issue entirely, but I had both my GP and my HRT doctor ask sexual preference. In the case of my GP, he was pushing me to get PrEP. Not sure why the HRT doctor asked.

Yeah I really am shy about to my pcp about being trans. They know I'm intersex but I slightly eluded to it once the lady seemed upset about it like she didn't even give me a referral and put down that I had a mood disorder. So I never like to share anything with how I feel mentally with the pcp. I feel it's irrelevant. I'll probably change the pcp anyhow. I change my last pcp barely a year ago I never really get attached to my pcp generally.

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on January 21, 2018, 12:10:39 AM
First, I have not read other responses so I have no idea what was said

But I need to ask, "why is who you have sex with important to your old therapist?"  They should just ask, "are you sexually active?" And leave it at that...IF they even need to ask! 

Or maybe this is something that is asked in the UK.  It's not really asked much here in the US.  I too am gay since I prefer men.

But now I'm wondering if your old therapist was some kind of pervert. Smdh

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

I put that down in the pamphlet. They have you fill out. It was apparently not enough.

I think your therapist asking about your sex life has nothing to do with your gender identity and that it's very rude and abusive. If you don't want to tell them don't tell them. I had a therapist tell me he guessed I'd never had an orgasm with my ex husband is why I wanted to be a male. He said some other inappropriate things and later I found out he had been arrested for sexual battery of another patient. Various other transgender friends of mine also said he emotionally abused them. If you therapist is emotionally abusive then report them to their boss.

Quote from: KarlMars on January 23, 2018, 10:58:19 PM
I think your therapist asking about your sex life has nothing to do with your gender identity...

This is another mantra of the trans community that simply isn't true.  How we engage sexually with others is intensely affected by how we see ourselves in terms of gender, not to mention the medications we might take or the surgeries we might have.  I think what we mean to say is that a trans person can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.--the whole "Genderbread Man thing--and that therefore one should never make assumptions about someone's sexuality based on their gender expression.  This isn't quite the same thing.  I certainly observe that there are far more transgender people who are non-heterosexual than in the population at large, and that many people going through gender transition are often reconsidering their sexuality at the same time.  Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same thing, but they are connected.

This being the case, I see nothing unusual at all about a counselor asking a client, whom they are seeking to help navigate transition, about their sexuality.  Regardless of one's orientation, the process of identity formation and/or transition will profoundly affect sexuality in most cases.  Steering clear of this topic ignores an important facet of mental health and feeds into the misconception that our sexuality, whatever it is, is somehow taboo, or worse, broken.

Quote from: KarlMars on January 23, 2018, 10:58:19 PM
If you don't want to tell them don't tell them.

Here I agree with you, but this is different from saying a therapist should not ask. 

Quote from: KarlMars on January 23, 2018, 10:58:19 PM
I think your therapist asking about your sex life has nothing to do with your gender identity and that it's very rude and abusive. If you don't want to tell them don't tell them. I had a therapist tell me he guessed I'd never had an orgasm with my ex husband is why I wanted to be a male. He said some other inappropriate things and later I found out he had been arrested for sexual battery of another patient. Various other transgender friends of mine also said he emotionally abused them. If you therapist is emotionally abusive then report them to their boss.

yeah the therapist went straight for inappropriate question then got heavily uncomfortable. Like he asked if I liked men and then asked if I was gay did I like anal sex. And I said well when it came to sex dreams it's usually me being a top. Then he got mad and was fixated that I must think of like using a strap on and thought I had gay friends that "made me think that way". I wanted to actually say I just generally dream of myself as male just a little younger but he already seemed frazzled by what I was saying I didn't really stay much longer than that. I had to have my apt with my current therapist to Friday so I'm looking forward to it but my roommate's a little pessimistic about it.

Quote from: dmj23 on January 24, 2018, 02:02:26 PM

yeah the therapist went straight for inappropriate question then got heavily uncomfortable. Like he asked if I liked men and then asked if I was gay did I like anal sex. And I said well when it came to sex dreams it's usually me being a top. Then he got mad and was fixated that I must think of like using a strap on and thought I had gay friends that "made me think that way". I wanted to actually say I just generally dream of myself as male just a little younger but he already seemed frazzled by what I was saying I didn't really stay much longer than that. I had to have my apt with my current therapist to Friday so I'm looking forward to it but my roommate's a little pessimistic about it.

This therapist sounds like they're caught up in the idea of traditional gender roles like Freud. This is the same psychology that conversion therapy people have. With a mentality like that he shouldn't be working with transgender people.

Quote from: KarlMars on January 24, 2018, 02:09:28 PM
This therapist sounds like they're caught up in the idea of traditional gender roles like Freud. This is the same psychology that conversion therapy people have. With a mentality like that he shouldn't be working with transgender people.

yeah the funny thing is that he actually said he did work with a transman and asked me if that's what I'd want and when I said yes and that all I've ever wanted is to be a normal guy. He started saying some people miss their females parts and regret surgery like it was impossible for me to successfully be happy.

If your therapist leads by endorsing transgender regret as a probable outcome, run like hell.  You've either chosen a religious zealot or somewhat who is completely ignorant.  Either way, you won't be well served.

Quote from: rmaddy on January 26, 2018, 06:16:59 PM
If your therapist leads by endorsing transgender regret as a probable outcome, run like hell.  You've either chosen a religious zealot or somewhat who is completely ignorant.  Either way, you won't be well served.

yeah he said that he was saying this simply because I wasn't going to kill myself if I lived as a woman and because I did not come dressed how he wanted. I don't know he seemed honestly like he should be having counseling. Bad news though my job called me in for work I had to postpone appt this time indefitely

Quote from: dmj23 on January 26, 2018, 08:28:22 PM

yeah he said that he was saying this simply because I wasn't going to kill myself if I lived as a woman and because I did not come dressed how he wanted. I don't know he seemed honestly like he should be having counseling. Bad news though my job called me in for work I had to postpone appt this time indefitely

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This guy is bad news. Like, really, really bad news.

Quote from: Roll on January 26, 2018, 10:36:50 PM
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This guy is bad news. Like, really, really bad news.

I didn't lie on my assessment. I told my therapist exactly how everything has been including being someone who is attracted to the same sex one ide notifies with. She seemed to understand being transgender has nothing to do with sexuality. It was a really good experience and I was really surprised that she didn't freak out.

Quote from: dmj23 on February 02, 2018, 06:48:27 PM

I didn't lie on my assessment. I told my therapist exactly how everything has been including being someone who is attracted to the same sex one ide notifies with. She seemed to understand being transgender has nothing to do with sexuality. It was a really good experience and I was really surprised that she didn't freak out.

That is the proper response! Glad you find someone that seems to get it.