Well sisters, here I was within two weeks of my surgeries and have been going through hell with my wife. So supportive at first, Increasingly cool as V-day approached and finally informed me this is a no go this close to transition. Felt like the bottom dropped out of one of my main supports and sent my head spinning in a dozen directions. Had a talk with my therapist about all kinds of things running through my head and he said officially that we have to postpone and look for answers to some questions. I agreed, since I was the one who called him about a few things I was thinking. Although I know I have to have answers and was not afraid to ask the questions, I fear I have mortally wounded myself. We have to be very brave to go through this and very brave to be willing to look for answers we may not like, after all, we are authentic and there is no pretense here, and I hate it sometimes. I could have said nothing and it would have been smooth sailing, but I never lie to myself, too honest for my own damn good. Now I am afraid that this will never happen.
So thanks to all my wonderful sisters who helped me and made me laugh and cry, love you all. I was really one of you for a while and did so love being a girl. That's all for now, signing off. Toni
