She said that she never saw herself being with a woman, and that she wants a divorce... We have 2 kids.. I'm so broken... I know that this isn't what she asked for, and I don't blame her, but it doesn't make it hurt any less... The biggest kicker, she's gender fluid... I have always supported her masculine side, and it hurts that she can't do the same for me.. Idk.. It just hurts! I don't even know what to do anymore... Why did I have to be born like this...

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If she is gender fluid and you supported her masculine expression, then her leaving has little or nothing to do with your gender—which means you are off the hook as far as any transition guilt.  It also means the two of you weren't meant to be together. 

Sure it hurts—I've been there, and raised two children from my first, busted marriage to adulthood.  You will survive, you will thrive, you will forgive yourself and her.  You will meet and get to know the most important person in your life—YOU!  That's right, the girl in the mirror.

Hormones are going to take you on a wild ride, totally blow your mind, and really introduce you to yourself.


Only after really knowing yourself will you really be ready for an intimate relationship.  And the time will come and good things will happen.

Cherish this time of self discovery.  Afterward, you will realize it was over way too soon.

My wife just moved out last Monday. We were divorced last July. Even though I knew we would live separate and still be friends 3 years ago it still hurt to finally be alone. Our daughter is 20 and in college and she is fine with the divorce. So it is an adjusting period. A sad and lonely adjusting period. I made plans last weekend and this coming weekend. So not sit, get out there and live.

You are both alive and will survive. You have 2 children to raise and they need both parents.

It sucks and hurts but in time you will adjust. I am still in a bit of a sad place but I am coming out of it. 

Quote from: AlexisH590 on January 29, 2018, 05:41:27 PM
She said that she never saw herself being with a woman, and that she wants a divorce... We have 2 kids.. I'm so broken... I know that this isn't what she asked for, and I don't blame her, but it doesn't make it hurt any less... The biggest kicker, she's gender fluid... I have always supported her masculine side, and it hurts that she can't do the same for me.. Idk.. It just hurts! I don't even know what to do anymore... Why did I have to be born like this...

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Big hug! I can't even add anything to this:

Quote from: CarlyMcx on January 29, 2018, 06:13:52 PM
If she is gender fluid and you supported her masculine expression, then her leaving has little or nothing to do with your gender—which means you are off the hook as far as any transition guilt.  It also means the two of you weren't meant to be together. 

Sure it hurts—I've been there, and raised two children from my first, busted marriage to adulthood.  You will survive, you will thrive, you will forgive yourself and her.  You will meet and get to know the most important person in your life—YOU!  That's right, the girl in the mirror.

Hormones are going to take you on a wild ride, totally blow your mind, and really introduce you to yourself.


Only after really knowing yourself will you really be ready for an intimate relationship.  And the time will come and good things will happen.

Cherish this time of self discovery.  Afterward, you will realize it was over way too soon.

Hi Alexis,

  Yes you hurt and yes it is hard. I was divorced by my wife of more than 21 years. At first I wished that she had died. I thought that would have been easier to accept. I took me a long time to accept that her divorcing my was probably the best thing she could have done for herself. I loved her dearly, but I was the problem in our marriage. I knew that and accept that but her divorcing me still hurt. It hurt so much along with 2 other events that occurred that I found myself very close to suicide. Obviously I am still here. So yes I know how bad it can hurt and I also know it is survivable.
Focus on getting through the difficult time.

Hugs,
   Laurie