Well I saw my doctor today and got somethings actually done. Im not transitioning but I may be on a track to feeling okay. We got some of my tests done today. Some are in a week. If my levels are not low enough, we will try to lower them a bit to find the right balance. I told her higher t levels make me feel depressed and angry. Lower levels make me feel happy and I feel calm and all.

As for me abstaining from anything sexual is now part of what my doctor wants me to continue to do. She thinks it's better for my mental health and physical health also. I agree!

Am I abandoning Larisa? No I am not. She's always a part of me. I finally have made a serious first step to finding the inbetween of the girl and boy in me. I never did this in the past basically. Still not saying Im trans.

Im on the road to being okay with myself!