I have read the similar topic Gender Discussion in School - Knowledge but as that refers specifically to school and as I don't wish to divert the thread, I have decided to start this thread.

If we are not out but the transgender subject comes up in general discussion, what should we say if on one hand we do not wish to be out yet but on the other hand we wish to get the correct message across? I suggest 3 simple statements:

1. Gender Identity has no bearing on sexual orientation. Trans people may be straight, gay ,bisexual or asexual. I find this is hardest thing for the ignorant to comprehend.

2. It is not a change of life style - our gender remains the same. A transwoman is always female just unlucky enough to have been born with a male body; gender is determined by something much more relevant than the genitalia - the BRAIN.

3. Trans people transition only if and when they have to as the dysphoria or the depression has become too great to continue to carry the burden.

Do others agree? Any other suggestions please?

Pamela 

You might find some disagree with 3 if you state it. The definition of trans in the community seems to have added people who don't particularly suffer as a result of their trans experience.

It depends on the audience.  If you're dealing with a right winger in America then it's best just not to engage.  In my experience they are not open to any explanation they didn't see on Fox News or hear from their pastor.  So facts cannot pierce their ideology.  Trying to explain a complex subject won't necessarily out you but it will lead to extreme frustration.


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I do disagree with 3 i never was depressed or anything of that nature. I transition when i felt it was time not because any other reason.

Quote from: inenidok on February 05, 2018, 09:32:46 AM
I do disagree with 3 i never was depressed or anything of that nature. I transition when i felt it was time not because any other reason.

I agree that number 3 is not entirely accurate.  I was lucky enough to figure out what was going on in my head before it got to the depression stage.


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Quote from: pamelatransuk on February 05, 2018, 07:10:57 AM
3. Trans people transition only if and when they have to as the dysphoria or the depression has become too great to continue to carry the burden.

Also, some trans people transition without having experienced gender dysphoria.  That's hard for me to get my head round, but it's true.  For me personally, the dysphoria and depression got so great that the repressed feelings burst through but it's different for a lot of people.

I have to disagree with number 3 also. 
I realized my transgender situation when I was young, but knew there was no support or healthcare coverage available to me.  So instead of letting that rule me, I carried on and enjoyed life. 
When I finally got healthcare coverage for transgender care, I said "about time"!

I wasn't exactly depressed when I started transition, it was more an extension of where life was going anyway. It just made sense to use years of low t as a base to start HRT. There was some dyspohoria, but I wouldn't have called it depression, just a little bit of obsession.

Quote from: Deborah on February 05, 2018, 08:07:19 AM
It depends on the audience.  If you're dealing with a right winger in America then it's best just not to engage.  In my experience they are not open to any explanation they didn't see on Fox News or hear from their pastor.  So facts cannot pierce their ideology.  Trying to explain a complex subject won't necessarily out you but it will lead to extreme frustration.


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Pretty much. indoctrination and the need for certainty are hard to break, but it does need to come from them. It never ceases to amaze me how some never question what they believe.


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Quote from: Gertrude on February 05, 2018, 08:24:10 PM
Pretty much. indoctrination and the need for certainty are hard to break, but it does need to come from them. It never ceases to amaze me how some never question what they believe.


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But then, some people prefer to believe the most outlandish things that can be made up. When I was living off the grid, the townsfolk actually believed 3 things that were rumored about me.  1: I was gay. 2: I was a devil worshipper. And 3: I was a federal agent. And: all 3 just had to be factual at the same time.
I was just an androgynous person trying to survive without having to deal with the constant problems of dealing with society at the time.