Last night I told my ex. She is very supportive. She and I will tell our son after teaching him about the science and social issues of transgender issues. That positive reaction was a relief for me. My stress level has gone down. The thing is, I know that my parents will be quite angry and will not accept me. While I'm dreading telling them that I'm trans, I'm also looking forward to it because I am quite sure that they will disown me. I know that sounds strange. Let me explain. My father, who was never around much, is creepy to be around and is dishonest, manipulative, controlling, and has conducted some very shady, predatory business ventures. My mother, she raised me, was neglectful, emotionally abusive, and she and her side of the family, well, I'm surprised that neither mom nor any of her relatives have joined a hate group. That isn't hyperbole. While I do - because they're who I bonded with in childhood- love my parents, while I'm afraid of their rejection and how stressful and painful that will be...I'm also looking forward to them wanting nothing to do with me. It's been so stressful and painful dealing with them and now I'll probably be done with them. The only reason I have stayed in contact with them is out of pity. I think they've been using that though. They're both manipulative. So, on the one hand, I'm afraid, on the other hand, I'm looking forward to a new sort of freedom. Has any one else had to deal with anything like this?

Absolutely. Not around gender issues, but around their manipulation and narcissism and sociopathy.

It was difficult for me when it came time to break away because I had always been their emotional support, even as a child. But in his case and hers, they imposed demands on me that I wasn't willing to comply with, that would have been deleterious to my psychological and emotional health.

Boy, were they mad! They tried everything. They escalated and escalated, and finally it got to the point where their final positions were,   "Do what I say or I won't love you anymore!"

They were desperate. They were terrified of losing me, but it was the me that they used to be able to jerk around they were afraid of losing.

Once I realized that, I was golden. That old me didn't exist anymore, and it was time for them to deal with it.

They sulked for a good long time about it, mind you, and they didn't want to talk while they were sulking, but they came around.

You can't negotiate with terrorists. You can only tell them the truth.

P.S. The second time you hear the "or I won't love you anymore" song, you realize they're just lyrics

Thanks. It's good to know I'm not alone in this. I suspect that my parents repeat their own lyrics to them selves, and live inside their repeated lyrics. Anything outside their lack luster albums seems to scare them.