Hi Ladies,
Every day that I read others' posts on Susan's gives me the opportunity to reflect on myself while reading. You see, my brain did crazy things as I was growing up to reconcile my feelings of wanting to be a woman and just started building partitions segmenting off those desires and making very specific rules about how I could even think about it.
While reading today it dawned on my why I was never willing to consume alcohol in quantities sufficient to get drunk. On the surface that reason was I had three of four grandparents who were alcoholics and I knew that It was a risk factor for my own alcoholism, but the REAL reason which I can now remember bubbling up from my subconscious was that I was afraid I would start talking about my hidden desire to be a woman.
I want to thank all of you beautiful ladies (both figurative and literal) for continually helping me to find me. As I post in an attempt to help others, I realize that I am simultaneously helping myself.
Much love! (I'm crying now)
Julie