Quote from: Laurie on February 08, 2018, 04:08:17 PM
Hi Sadie,

  No I didn't eat up all of Michelle's quinoa. It wasn't bad at all for an introduction to it. Michelle used a recipe that Jessica suggested with roasted Brussel sprouts and onions vinaigrette type sauce. I never cared for Brussel sprouts and hadn't had any in decades. All in all it was pretty good.
  It's a shame you girls have such long waits for any Transgender services there but I am pleased to see you will be moving ahead with the things you can do.

Keep up the progress Hun.

Hugs,
  Laurie

I fall in and out of struggling with the long wait to maybe it's been the best thing for me. I doubt I'll need too much therapy as I'm already over most of the big hurdles. I've socially transitioned and am learning patience in the process.
My big worry is the not knowing what treatment will be offered me, or if indeed any treatment is offered me, it's the not knowing that is stressful.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on February 09, 2018, 04:22:22 AM
I fall in and out of struggling with the long wait to maybe it's been the best thing for me. I doubt I'll need too much therapy as I'm already over most of the big hurdles. I've socially transitioned and am learning patience in the process.
My big worry is the not knowing what treatment will be offered me, or if indeed any treatment is offered me, it's the not knowing that is stressful.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Yes Hun,

  The waaaiting is the haaardest part. But you can do it.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Laurie on February 09, 2018, 11:13:21 AM
Yes Hun,

  The waaaiting is the haaardest part. But you can do it.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Thanks Laurie,

It's all good, I treasure our health system and can accept that they are completely overstretched at the gender clinics. I worry that's all, but that's just me. Dysphoria can get to me sometimes and settles like a dense fog that is hard to see through, so I type away here sounding off my foghorn in the hope that someone is listening And of course you are
I'm sure it's all going to be o.k. In the meantime I have a life to get on with, I know I can do it because I already am.

Hope you're having fun on your travels and not getting up to too much mischief.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Note to self....Don't get nipple caught in epilator 

Off for a proper bra fitting today and I'm terrified being pre HRT. But needs must and this must is a need as spring is coming, so off out the door I go . I'm sure it will be fine as every other step I've taken has been fine, but it seems like a moment.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Well turns out I'm officially a 38 AA U.K. size.
I really had nothing to be worried about after all, even though I was initially terrified, I won't sweet coat it.
The assistant was wonderful, she treated me like the woman I am. She knew exactly what to do and say to make me feel a little more complete and accepted.
So no more guess work for me ordering stuff and hoping it fits. Yay

Finished the trip by treating myself to a nice wine red blouse and some garnet earrings to match.

Next week will be all about new peepers. The one's I have are unisex but I'd like something a little more feminine. Happy days 

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on February 10, 2018, 08:29:06 AM
Well turns out I'm officially a 38 AA U.K. size.
I really had nothing to be worried about after all, even though I was initially terrified, I won't sweet coat it.
The assistant was wonderful, she treated me like the woman I am. She knew exactly what to do and say to make me feel a little more complete and accepted.
So no more guess work for me ordering stuff and hoping it fits. Yay

Finished the trip by treating myself to a nice wine red blouse and some garnet earrings to match.

Next week will be all about new peepers. The one's I have are unisex but I'd like something a little more feminine. Happy days 

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

  Changes changes changes!  You go girl. Make that wait time count. I am so proud of you and Davina Marching ahead with what you want.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

snipped:

Quote from: Shy on February 10, 2018, 08:29:06 AM
Well turns out I'm officially a 38 AA U.K. size.
I really had nothing to be worried about after all, even though I was initially terrified, I won't sweet coat it.
The assistant was wonderful, she treated me like the woman I am. She knew exactly what to do and say to make me feel a little more complete and accepted.
So no more guess work for me ordering stuff and hoping it fits. Yay

Sadie

Congrats to you Sadie for taking some brave actions... yes, a bra fitting, a salon visit, breast exam... all of this can be very, very nerve-wracking for us as we transition.  As time goes on and you have conquered more and more of your fears, it WILL come easier.   Again, congratulations, and now that you know your bra size that is not the end of the story, different bras from the same manufacturer, different brands, different styles, etc.... it is not consistent so in most cases they need to be tried on in the store to prevent frequent trial and error returns to the store.

left right left right quick march, have been lucky getting bras blind (had an idea from the wifes!!!) 40 c with the falsies but almost (come on patches) a cup without .

Been a busy few days for me. Went to the local TG group for a chat, catchup and tea and biscuits. Took a train to Bath Spa in search of a birthday pressie for my sister but failed to find anything as I kept getting distracted by all the shiny things in the jewellery stores that I could never afford. Spent some time watching a busker playing the violin on a high wire and watched some glass blowing.

Off to London next weekend to see some of the Harry Potter film sets with my family. It's present to my mum who in her 80's and loves all of the fantasy stuff. Hopefully when I get there Dumbledor can magic me up a new wig as mine is starting to look a bit tired. Would like a different style anyway just to confuse the neighbours and probably myself

The bra's I purchased have worked out well, comfy, I just wish I had something to fill them with as they come with a healthy dose of dysmorphia. But the little I have is all mine and looks natural, it's just nice to feel dressed in the appropriate places, that helps.

Hope everyone is well,

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

  Continuing to get out and about. Good on you girl. And we needs much be nice to our Mums as long as they have been good mothers that is. They have done much for us and we owe them gratitude and love to mirror the love they gave to us. And yes Hun it is also good to be wearing our proper clothes. I wore the 3 skirts and a dress while I visited with Michelle and Jessica. That's more than I have done at home.

Keep being girly, girl.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on February 13, 2018, 12:12:12 AM
Hi Sadie,

  Continuing to get out and about. Good on you girl. And we needs much be nice to our Mums as long as they have been good mothers that is. They have done much for us and we owe them gratitude and love to mirror the love they gave to us. And yes Hun it is also good to be wearing our proper clothes. I wore the 3 skirts and a dress while I visited with Michelle and Jessica. That's more than I have done at home.

Keep being girly, girl.

Hugs,

  Laurie

Now you girl are doing just awesome I've never worn a dress in public, being tall I can't find one that fits and the few that I have managed to find just don't hang right. Skirts are o.k. but really I'm happiest in leggings. I seem to pass o.k. I can't believe the change in you from you're recent photos, seriously you look amazing.

Hope your sis is doing o.k.

Now you girl are doing

Spent this evening bagging up my old clothes for the charity shop. Also went through old birthday and Christmas cards that I had saved and ditched all of the brother and son ones. To be honest I thought it may be difficult to trudge through old memories, but really I just got on with what needed to be done and felt pretty indifferent to it all. I'm not sure if it's a milestone, but it needed to be done.

Had one of those horrible misgenders at the checkout earlier. It was one of those 'hello Sir' quickly followed by 'I mean Mam' stutter......stutter...... It doesn't happen often to me these days but when it does it's usually this kind of confused awkwardness as the poor things try to work out where I fit in with their world view. It is what it is though, so I just filter it out and get on with my day.

Brought some bright raspberry lipstick today in preparation for spring, and some subtle blush for my cheeks to break up the foundation a little. I usually take the 'less is more' approach to makeup. A year ago I wouldn't have had the confidence to carry off bright colours, but now I do. Not for every day, just for those days when I feel like a little boost.

Mood wise I'm just in one of those "getting things done" modes. Not happy, not sad just focused on the job in hand. I'm building a little nest for myself really in preparation for the gender clinic and beyond. Saving money for the hidden costs that I'm sure will arise post surgery, starting to think about an official name change. I dare to say being responsible, I think that's a word Having never felt the need to use it too much before it's a strange concept for me .

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

   I bagged up most of my old clothes that I hadn't already given away and some of my girl clothes that were ordering mistakes. And had my sister put them out for the ARC pickup the day after I left for Michelle's. I have a couple things left that I will probably never wear again like  a red plaid shirt, a plaid jacket and a leather coat. A couple belts. I think that's it.
   I too proscribe the less is more look and frequently use only eyebrow pencil and mascara so my brows match my wig and so my lashes can be seen. You like adding a bit of brighter colors to your makeup and it does make a difference. One of the thing I like now is the choice to be a little dressy when it suits my mood to do so. Yesterday for my last speech therapy appointment I felt like looking nice for it so I donned my new top a dark background floral skirt, low heeled pumps. My new to me bracelets and necklace, dangle earrings, put on my face with a little more mascara a bit more noticeable eye shadow and some brighter pink lipstick. I got three  "you look very nice today". I felt like I looked nice and it garnered me compliments too.  I love that I now have choices of what to wear as it fits my moods. Don't you?

Hugs,
   Laurie
 

Quote from: Laurie on February 15, 2018, 08:26:01 PM

   I too proscribe the less is more look and frequently use only eyebrow pencil and mascara so my brows match my wig and so my lashes can be seen. You like adding a bit of brighter colors to your makeup and it does make a difference. One of the thing I like now is the choice to be a little dressy when it suits my mood to do so. Yesterday for my last speech therapy appointment I felt like looking nice for it so I donned my new top a dark background floral skirt, low heeled pumps. My new to me bracelets and necklace, dangle earrings, put on my face with a little more mascara a bit more noticeable eye shadow and some brighter pink lipstick. I got three  "you look very nice today". I felt like I looked nice and it garnered me compliments too.  I love that I now have choices of what to wear as it fits my moods. Don't you?

Yes, choice is a wonderful thing From a lifetime of not paying any attention to my appearance to all of a sudden having the freedom to openly express myself is very liberating.
I think when you look nice the confidence rises and people notice in a good way

Have a lovely day Laurie, what ever you get up to,

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

It's been a day of more clearing out today. Mainly a lot of masculine clutter and also purchased some new pictures to hang on the walls.

Had a nice chat with one of my neighbours for the first time since I went full time. It all went fine, we just talked as we used to talk. Not a mention of how I was dressed. The strange thing he was one of the people I thought I'd have issues with, turns out the issues were all in my own head. Never judge a book by it's cover, but hindsight is a wonderful thing, I guess it could have gone either way and you have to be prepared.

Filled out my first family birthday card and signed off as Sadie today, I must admit I am slightly apprehensive of the response, but I'm sure it will be fine. I will apply for my official name change on my birthday in a few months.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

  Isn't it funny how so many of our fears are in our own heads and seldom materialize in the light of day? Oh some do, no doubt, but that vast majority of them are not the overwhelming monsters we envision them to be.  Like you I have many of my own that will continue to plague me, but we are getting better at dealing with them. It is those few, that do come to pass, that keep us living in fear that others might do the same.  But even those we should be able to learn from if we can but get past the trauma they have caused us.
  You, Hun, are doing that and making long strides with it. You go girl. Just keep moving in that forward direction and you will be fine. Head up, shoulders back, and walk on proud of who you are.

Hugs,
   Laurie

For the first time yesterday some of my family members started to call me Sadie. They were obviously uncomfortable with it but at least they reached out. It also felt strange for me, and to be honest I felt a little guilty for putting them In such a situation. I also found myself grieving my old life a little as some of the good memories I've had with them came flooding back.

So feeling a bit disjointed today. It seems like I reach one milestone only to be confronted with ten more waiting in the wings. I knew transitioning was never a straight path but wasn't really prepared for how winding the road could get.
It's all good though, one thing I've learned is not to muse too much over 'what if's' It's not healthy and serves no purpose other than to feed the squirrels.

Chest dysphoria is bad today, the bra helps a little but I am so ready for HRT.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on February 19, 2018, 04:09:42 AM
For the first time yesterday some of my family members started to call me Sadie. They were obviously uncomfortable with it but at least they reached out. It also felt strange for me, and to be honest I felt a little guilty for putting them In such a situation. I also found myself grieving my old life a little as some of the good memories I've had with them came flooding back.

So feeling a bit disjointed today. It seems like I reach one milestone only to be confronted with ten more waiting in the wings. I knew transitioning was never a straight path but wasn't really prepared for how winding the road could get.
It's all good though, one thing I've learned is not to muse too much over 'what if's' It's not healthy and serves no purpose other than to feed the squirrels.

Chest dysphoria is bad today, the bra helps a little but I am so ready for HRT.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

The funny thing about milestones is that you pass them and forget.

It is one of those conundrums, when you are going to a place you look for the milestones to see how far you have to go. When you get there you look back and think where was that last one?

Good memories are better than the alternative - bad memories.  As for the bad memories... learn from them, change things that can be changed and remember to shut the door when you move on. 

The way I look at it, many of the positive things I experienced in the past can't be experienced again so I'll just have to go collect some awesome new good memories. 

Quote from: Cindy on February 19, 2018, 04:29:36 AM
The funny thing about milestones is that you pass them and forget.

It is one of those conundrums, when you are going to a place you look for the milestones to see how far you have to go. When you get there you look back and think where was that last one?

That's is, what you just said Cindy Now what was it that I was discombobulated over? Any more milestones and I'm going to invest in a GPS

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie