My girlfriend just told me I was gay. I love wearing lingerie, dresses, heels, fake fingernails, nail & toe polish, shaved smooth and she is aware of everything. But, I have wants to be with a man or two while I'm dressed. I want to have oral sex and be penetrated by one. I don't find men attractive but I want to be the woman whatever you call it. I still love women and still get off on them. I wouldn't mind being with a man and woman at the same time. I am 48 yrs and have missed out on a lot of sexual experiences and now I want to try them all before I pass away. I tell her I'm a Bisexual CD. I like both.

Can anyone shed light on this please?
Please, real help.
Thanks

Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica! I consider myself as non-binary, neither gender entirely, a mix of both.  Through the years I realized that it wasn't that I wasn't gay, but that I was also a woman.  You can be both if that is what you want by just being who you are, not what society has dictated.
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I would guess that you are as you describe, a bisexual crossdresser. Personally I have a bit different view than you have. I feel the important part of any relationship is the attraction between two people and the sexual aspect is secondary. I have this view because the relationship may go on long after you are no longer able to engage in sexual activity. You might consider seeing a gender therapist if you wish to explore these feelings farther and define your role in life better as it's not always possible to experience everything. A gender therapist might help you understand what you desire the most out of life.

I think Bisexual CD is a pretty good description if you want to put a very fine point on it.  New thinking in sexual theory tho prefers the spectrum model just as with gender theory.
I'm technically bisexual but when I came out I soon found out that in 1994 that that was really a distinction with out a difference for most people.  So I would just tell people I was gay.  Also, the way we use the word gay now is kind of interesting.  As in "that's so gay." Which usually refers to a male who is displaying gender nonconformity.  For instance if a guy were to wear a skirt, makeup or a wig, his buddies would most likely say, "That's so gay."
If you however were ever to identify as a binary transgender woman then strict adherence to official gender theory would dictate that you now identify as straight.

Well, I know I'm a guy. I believe that I'm a guy that would rather feel sexy, look sexy. I also want to feel the other side, the woman's side. I want to feel what a woman feels like with a man. I read once that most CD's dress in women's clothes/lingerie is cause he loves women and wants to be as close as possible to them.

There is one rule that you can only diagnosis yourself when it comes to gender identity. None of us or even a therapist can fully understand what you feel inside so when it comes to life changing decisions, you are the only one who has sufficient knowledge to make the call. That said, the more you know about the decision you are to make the better your decision will be. I have two links I regularly give out when somebody is questioning their identity. The first is our WIKI where cross dresser and many other identities are described. While you haven't indicated your are transsexual, you can verify it by the number of no responses you give to the "the transition channel" .

Be careful about simple answers to complex subjects like gender identity. As you will discover from the above links, gender identity is a spectrum and may of our members have a difficult time deciding exactly where on the spectrum they are.

Some good responses! I consider myself gay - because I mostly like women! Or maybe bi. :-) You can't get worked up too much about it. Labels are mostly used to categorize, judge and reject. Just be you and enjoy the ride...


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I think Mikaela nailed it there. I identify as non binary so I would feel both gay and straight whoever I slept with. I've never found guys attractive but a few years ago I met a guy that could have had me over the table there and then if he'd but asked. Took me quite by surprise. It wasn't his looks, it was the way he spoke to me and looked at me. Made me feel quite special and it was all I could do not to giggle girlishly. Nothing ever happened and I don't see him now but the experience taught me that I could be happy with anyone that I made a connection with, regardless of their gender. As a result I've given up worrying about labels. Most people don't really care about the sexuality of others any more. Pursue what makes you happy and leave the labels for others to worry about. The only label I care about now is the label "happy".

Good luck and hugs

B

Well as a beginning dresser myself, I would say that I'm more "straight" since I love femininity and discovering my own. I would be with another dresser or transwoman but masculinity isn't for me so men or perhaps ftm trans. But as stated only you can define you.

Go nuts and try everything once. You don't sound like you're overly conflicted on your actual identify, and these fantasies aren't hurting anyone, assuming your girlfriend doesn't mind. Do something before it's too late.

What you wear, do, act, live, believe in...have NOTHING to do with whom you are attracted to.
That's it. No need to BS.
I know a super girly girl who is extremely gay, a super camp guy who is totally straight, a bearded muscular guy who is totally gay, a crossdressing guy who only likes women and a crossdressing guy who likes both genders.

You like who you like and that is that really