The story is linked here:



I wrote the below in response, Cc'ing the editors and Christine Daniels, and including a P.S. saying they may contact me via e-mail if they wished.

QuoteGreetings, Mr. Pringle & Ms. Saillant;

First, thank you for illuminating the details surrounding the Lawrence King murder in A Deadly Clash...  It's needed to help others try to make some sense of what caused a child to commit such a heinous act against another child.

Next -- disclosure.

I'm a retired Military Broadcaster/Journalist, 'graduated' from active duty after 22 years at the rank of Army Sergeant First Class (E-7).

After retirement, I finally had the opportunity to take stock of myself and realize that a side of me that I had barely managed to keep buried had to be addressed for me to lead a life that was not the pale shadow of what it had the potential to be.  I admitted to myself I was transsexual.  I now have gender reassignment surgery behind me and am looking forward to my remaining years mostly with joyous anticipation at the unleashed potentials.

And, unfortunately, with some trepidation, given that I may be as suddenly engulfed engulfed and consumed by a hateful act as Lawrence King was.

But, that's not why I am writing this.

In the interest of educating the public on the 'what is' of the LGBT community, and attempting to put to rest the pervasive myths and damaging stereotypes, I wish to point out a subtlety to a statement you made about Lawrence King in the subject article.

QUOTE:
"[Melissa Reza] and others recall that the name-calling began long before he told his small circle of confidants that he was gay, before problems at home made him a ward of the court, and before he summoned the courage to further assert his sexual orientation by wearing makeup and girl's boots with his school uniform."

"...wearing makeup and girl's boots..." to "...assert his sexual orientation..." is the subtlety I wish to point out.

Sexual orientation is which gender your sexual desire is oriented towards, not which gender's clothing you wish to wear.

This stereotype of gays being prone to wearing women's clothing does not match up with the realities of the gay community. 

Generally, effeminate gay males are looked down upon,  and the quality of hyper-masculinity is prized and cultivated.  If one were to peruse the personals for Men Seeking Men, one would find a majority of ads to be a masculine male looking for same, and some of these ads might even proclaim something derogatory such as 'no nellies' to state that effeminate gay males need not respond.

Based on most of the media describing Lawrence King as effeminate, had he made it to adulthood, would likely have found himself marginalized even in that community.

King self-identified as gay, and so it has been reported in the media.  And the non-homosexual portion of society holds the clichéd stereotype that Gays Are Effeminate.  So his wearing women's clothing reinforces that stereotype while potentially marginalizing him from the group he avows membership to.

Conservatives often quote the cliché of "confusion" to support their claim that matters of non-standard sexuality or gender identification must be kept away from such impressionable minds, lest they all be tainted and spoiled by the metastasizing 'cancer' of sexual abomination.

But they may inadvertantly have made a point in the case of Lawrence King.

Others have said King knew he was different. 

But he didn't know HOW he was different.  He said he liked boys and found them 'cute'.  He is reported to have responded to homophobic taunts with flirting.  Maybe he did so because he really did like boys, but perhaps it was mainly as a response to the taunting and aggression.

The other clue is wearing female clothing at great personal risk.

Now, there are gays who wear female clothing from time to time.  But let's turn this around to males-who-wear-female-clothing, in order to see the whole picture.

There are cross-dressers, both closeted and open.  They are predominately heterosexuals, and a majority of them are married.  A subset of crossdressers are 'drag queens'; generally gays who dress flamboyantly and perform in character lip-syncing to various iconic female performers, although there are a few straight drag queens. 

There are transsexuals who live 24/7 presenting as female, but can't or won't have gender reassignment surgery.  And there are those who are seeking or have obtained the surgery.  Needless to say, they are also presenting their chosen gender 'round the clock.

But transsexuals can be sexually oriented to either male or female. And about as many are oriented one way as the other.  I like to think of it as a game of 'You Can't Win' where no matter which way you are oriented there is no universal right answer.

One more bit of information before I make my point; society has been focusing on the male-to-female or effeminate male aspects here.  But everything I've described has a female-to-male parallel.  And, unless I explicitly say female-to-male most people will automatically assume male-to-female.

Female-to-male transsexuals are comparatively invisible, but there are for the most part counterparts such as 'drag kings'. And there are suspicions that those who transition to male gender are almost as great in number as male-to-females.  The only thing they don't have is crossdressing because, well, in our society who would notice?  We just don't obsess over a woman wearing man's clothes the way we do males wearing female dress.

Back to 'confusion'.

King knew he was different, and he attempted to embrace that. 
But he didn't know how he was different.  Society associates effeminacy almost exclusively with homosexuality, and so he was told that his feminine demeanor meant he was gay.  Having nothing else to go on at the moment, and growing up 'at risk' as he was, he accepted the proffered labels.

Given time to explore his feelings and sort things out, he may have found himself to be in fact transsexual.  But to our society, that is even worse than being gay.  And sadly, he'll never find out, and we can now only speculate.

I say that Lawrence King's wearing of female clothing and makeup was not, as you have written, 'asserting his sexual orientation,' but that he was asserting his gender identity. 

I believe my assertions can be corroborated by an L.A. Times employee who has the experience to be a subject matter expert on this topic; sports writer Christine Daniels.

As a journalist, I understand the need to sometimes write to the readers' misconceptions in order to facilitate getting a more vital point across.

But don't we journalists also have a duty to educate and enlighten audiences, and to destroy dangerous stereotypes wherever possible?

Sincerely;

Karen

When I heard Lawrence wore women's clothes in the face of
such hate I right away thought that this was not
typical gay behavior at all.

That this person was a T of some sort who like men.

I have to admit that I thought much like Keira when I read the first story that had some depth to its coverage.

But, Karen, you wrote the letter and for that you have my respect and gratitude.

Nichole

Thanks Karen!

Since the first reports I read where they mentioned Larry King wearing women's clothing, make up, etc, I thought that sie was likely also transgender. Sadly, we won't ever get to hear how sie identified from hir.

Z

I received a response:

QuoteDate:   Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:30:05 -0700
From:   "Pringle, Paul" <Paul.Pringle@latimes.com>     
Subject:   RE: A deadly clash of emotions before Oxnard shooting
To:   "Karen Savage" <email@com.com>   

Thanks for writing. You've raised some very good points.

Larry's motivation for wearing makeup and girl's shoes was related to us by several of his friends.

Thanks again.


-----Original Message-----
From: Karen Savage [mailto:email@com.com] <blablabla>

Well said Karen.


A poem from the family memorial web page



In memory of Lawrence "Larry" Fobes King
1/13/1993 - 2/13/2008
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the snow on the mountain's rim,
I am the laughter in children's eyes,
I am the sand at the water's edge,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the star that shines at night,
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

Thanks for being brave enough to post that letter Karen. Kudos.

And I agree with Keira and Nichole - I still happen to think Larry probably was TG in some way, shape or form. So sad that nobody will ever have the opportunity to ask.