I'm just starting out here at Susan's, and I wanted to get an idea of what being gender fluid might mean for me in my daily routine.

Right now I'm presenting as male pretty much all the time (I was born male). I'm in between jobs and my family doesn't know about any gender oddities. I expect that once I get a new job (white collar) that I'll continue presenting as male there as well. In fact, even if I were to start HRT and/or have any femininization surgery, I expect I would want to present as male at work and to my immediate family anyway.

What I'd like to know is what your genderfluid routine is. Are you out at work or do you present as one gender? What about to your friends? What about family?

How do you do this? Are you on HRT? Do you wear a binder or what clothes do you wear? Do you get comments? How accepting are your coworkers?

I'd like to cast as wide a net as possible, but essentially I'm looking for what options I might have if I were to start HRT, have facial feminization surgery (potentially butt implants), and still wish to present as male the majority of the time.

Thanks.

First, I want to say welcome!

Okay, so I presently identify as gender fluid - I was born male, and up until a few years ago (I'm 42) I almost exclusively presented as male. I had a female aspect as far back as middle school, and would occasionally crossdress or dabble with presenting female, but never in public unless it was "acceptable" (like at Halloween or something).

But over the past few years I've really come to terms, have been seeing a gender therapist, and I've come out publicly to my friends and family. I'm only out to a couple people at work - people I know on Facebook - but the rest of the office doesn't know. Engineering isn't exactly a progressive field, and I'm afraid I could lose my job.

So currently, I exclusively present male at work. At home it's a mix - I'm maybe 65/35 m/f - if I'm feeling girly I'll get dressed when I get home from work or if we're going out on the weekend, if I'm not feeling girly I stay Dave. The only exception being where things intersect with my son. He's 6, and while he knows and is okay with me as Sarah, I'm afraid he won't have the tools needed to handle it if he gets teased at school or something. So if we're all going out on a weekend I'll sometimes present as Sarah, but if I'm taking him to his jiu-jitsu class it's strictly Dave.

Although things are looking like they're going to possibly change. I've started looking for another job, and I've been very up front about being gender fluid. The recruiters I've worked with have been positive, and I have my first interview as Sarah on Wednesday. It still remains to be seen what comes of it, but if things go well I'll be at a point where I don't have to segregate my life into "fluid acceptable" and "keep it straight".

As for me physically, I haven't started HRT, and don't have any current plans to. I do shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows and have my ears pierced - these are the sorts of things people don't necessarily notice as a male, but become obvious details if I'm presenting female. I also made a point of losing some weight - I was a bit overweight, and I carried my weight in a typical beer gut. It made it hard to look like anything but pregnant. :-)

When I do go female, it's through a combination of a wig, false breasts, and shapewear to get my body in the right shape, subtle makeup to disguise any beard shadow, and finding women's clothing that more suits my body.

The hardest part has been learning how to dress female without overcompensating - when I first really started playing with presenting female, I ended up looking like a hooker because I was trying too hard to eradicate any hints of male. But through experimentation, practice, and a lot of help from my wife, I've reached a point where I feel confident enough as Sarah to just go with jeans and a t-shirt.



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