Hi everyone-

I transitioned in 2001, and have lived as a woman since then.  I have chosen to be non-op, I feel comfortable with body parts of both genders (I have had breast implants).

Last summer I decided to join a gay gym, where only men go.  I knew many of the guys who go there, and I knew the owner, so I felt comfortable going there.

Well, several days ago I was showering there, like I have done many times before, and I was in the locker room with a guy named Mike.  So he starts asking me questions about my identity, which I gladly answered, but after a few questions he said, "I don't feel comfortable with you bring nude around me."
He suggested I use a private dressing room and shower and not be around him or other guys.

Well, I was a bit shocked, because I have been going there for a year, and been nude many times and never had a problem.  I tried to explain to him that my body is WHO I am, that I live as a woman but I consider myself between the genders, and that is right with me, and that some men find my body attractive, etc.  But I could tell he did not wish to discuss it.  He had said his peace and prepared to leave the locker room..  So I told him my name and shook his hand and he left.

After I got over the shock I was angry, and then I practiced my spiritual discipline, which tells me that everything I experience is a reflection of something in me.  So I was able to drop my judgement of Mike and see him as a wounded person who was expressing something of his woundedness to me.

I have not seen him since, but I am going to try to get to know him better and hopefully we can communicate more about his feelings.  But I am not going to use a private dressing room.  I was tempted to at first, but I realized that my freedom is worth something to me too, and if I used the private room, I would be admitting that there was something wrong with me.

How do you feel about my decision?  Is there something else I can do about this situation?

Thanks,
Virginia

Thanks for your opinion.

Well I am open to that.  But since I was allowed to join the gym by the owner, who knew full well who I was and how my body looked, should not I be allowed to have full gym priledges, if given them initially?

Why shouldn't Mike use the private space if he is the one offended?

Does one year of no problems or complaints count for something?

And beyond that, why should differently gendered body parts result in being banished to a private space?

I was going to agree with Renate, but I'm not sure about this one. We have a gay gym that I assume is there because the people using it want to be around similar people. Do you go against that expectation? Peobably. But then as you said the owner was happy for you to join and you have been going for a year without complaints. You could just as easily say this gym is not the right place for Mike if he is not comfortable with it's patrionage.

I say keep going as you have all along, if Mike troubles you then tell him to discuss it with the owner.