I don't feel old. I feel like a kid still. And... well, act like one a lot! After I take my exam I fully plan to play video games and watch anime.

Anywho, thank you all for the birthday wishes!

I'm considering talking to family tonight about me presenting female around house at times. Not all the time while beard is still such a pain, but sometimes.

Quote from: Roll on February 21, 2018, 07:53:39 AM
I don't feel old. I feel like a kid still. And... well, act like one a lot! After I take my exam I fully plan to play video games and watch anime.

Anywho, thank you all for the birthday wishes!

I'm considering talking to family tonight about me presenting female around house at times. Not all the time while beard is still such a pain, but sometimes.

I blend in really well with the mid to late twenties crowd.  Even the mannerisms and the sense of enthusiasm about things.  Inevitably I will date myself with a reference prompting my favorite game of, "how old do you think I am?". People seem to have the idea that mid thirties and later = boring.  There is definitely some measure of truth to it because many are kind of dull, but it's not universal.  I should have changed my name to Peter Pan because I won't grow up.

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Happy Birthday Ellie!!!🎂

Happy Birthday Ellie!

And I am now fighting back tears on my birthday.

I have spent the last two years putting every ounce my soul into my college work to obtain and maintain a 4.0 GPA in order to use the GPA to overcome a number of issues, as well as qualify for certain grants and scholarships for, and simply admittance into, graduate work... just so I can then maybe overcome a lifetime of living on disability with no real resume that I have to explain away (now with transitioning tacked on!). I am talking 16 hours a day every day of the week including weekends, full loads during summer, you name it. I'm not stupid, but this hasn't been a case of me being one of those people who does his kind of thing with no effort, I have honest to god worked my ass off. Even during winter breaks I would study for and take CLEP exams.

And now it's gone because of one exam.

One crappy little exam, that was just a bunch of lazy, context-less arbitrary sentences taken from the textbook with a single word removed turned into fill in the blank questions, and the only course that I've encountered where your final grade cannot exceed the average of your midterm and final. I have never felt so helpless taking a test. I've never failed a test before period. And in any other course, I could overcome that grade, and probably still will wind up with a solid A at the end. An A that won't count because of the course rule.

I know in the end it probably won't matter, but after all of the time and effort I've put into this, for this just plain stupid convergence of circumstances to be what finally did me in...

Quote from: Roll on February 20, 2018, 10:46:36 PM
Actually, as of this post the happy birthday will be accurate on its own merits in 18 minutes! God, I'm getting old. But I wanted to start HRT before I hit the latter half of my 30s, and I did well ahead of schedule. So that's awesome.

And aside from eating, I've spent all day taking tests and studying for tomorrow's exam. Still can't believe I'm taking a midterm on my birthday. I am seriously worn out right now. Hopefully I'll get some sleep unlike last night and then survive tomorrow. If I can just make it through this without dying, the rest of this semester should be a relative breeze, everything else open book, just gotta put in the work which I can readily do. I just hate the concept of studying random minutia for the sake of an exam when the world doesn't actually work that way. I will never, ever, need to manually write a hamming code or have to recite the speeds of obsolete cabling by memory, and google solves the rest!

I missed this somehow. Happy belated birthday! I turned 20 a couple of weeks ago so I'm getting old now too. But as long as you don't look old who cares?  Lol

Super big hugs girl.  That is an incredibly silly rule.  Perhaps you can discuss it with your professor?  I know what it's like to lose a stunning gpa.  I planned on graduating summa cum laude as I had a 3.97 going into my final semester (there were 2 A- due to just laziness).  We had a miscarriage during my last semester and my apathy took over a bit (mostly due to me not the miscarriage).  I ended up getting a 3.59 that semester (which others would be very envious of, but is major underperformance on my part).  The university sets the standard for summa at above a 3.95.  That last semester dropped me to a 3.89.  I mean I still graduated magna, but seriously it was a blow.  You will survive this and all is not lost.  I've had numerous job interviews where they were clearly impressed with graduating magna cum laude on a dual degree, but chose another candidate for reasons unbeknownst to me.

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Happy birthday you young whippersnapper (your only as old as you feel) from an old fart. Bummer on the exam , chin up.

Well, you don't feel old because YOU'RE NOT OLD!! Now me... well, I'm not old either.  A year ago I felt like I was 100 or so, but now I feel like a kid again (most of the time).

BIG HUGS!! I'm sorry about your grade issues. You're way more dedicated & smart than I am or ever was!

The woes of the early day are gone. I don't care about that in the slightest anymore because of what just happened, and I know what truly matters. It was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had in my life, and it was such a simple thing, but such a wonderful thing and I can't stop crying tears of pure joy. And oh dear god, my sister is the single most wonderful person to ever live.

My sister always has the best socks. Just really amazing socks, crazy patterns and colors, they are just plain fun and cute. She has dozens if not hundreds. I've always been in awe of them, even before coming out. I've told her how great they were for years. So this year when people asked me what I wanted for both Christmas and then my birthday, I didn't speak up about what I truly wanted: women's clothes and accessories. I made due with some games during Christmas, a few nice cooking tools, etc. But come my birthday, I just asked for gift cards, because I still haven't the courage to say what I really wanted, and I figured an amazon card or two would help out. Well, not a single person listened to me, and I'm glad, because I got some really thoughtful presents all around. But the winner hands down... my sister got me two big packs of socks like hers. Women's socks, with amazing and hilarious and cute patterns. I didn't have the courage to ask for anything I wanted, but she knew. And the thought that went into that... the acceptance to act preemptively on something like that... the attention to detail for remembering how much I loved her socks and how cute and girly they were... it brought me to tears. After, she said something that I thought was just so incredibly wonderful and insightful, and is something so many of us here have said time and again. She knew I was scared of presenting in public or around people, but with socks... I could wear them, and I would know, even know one else did. That she understood what that meant to me without me ever saying anything remotely like that was just... it just floored me. What this present means to me is just... I can't even do it justice. I am just bawling as I type this, tears of just pure happiness. Such a simple thing, but such an amazingly wonderful thing somehow at the same time.

That's so sweet! I teared up a bit just reading it. Share some sock pics? 

That's wonderful, Ellie! Your sister is another one of the rockstar heroes we run across once in a while. Tell her all your friends here thank her for being such a thoughtful, loving sister to you.


- Stephanie

That's so awesome Ellie. Having that kind of acceptance and understanding is the stuff of legend.  I've had a couple of those moments too and will treasure them always.  Give your sister a hug for me

Bari Jo

In the words of the immortal Rowan & Martin, "Sock It To You"!

Happy belated birthday

SECOND BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT NOW!! ESTROGEN DOUBLED!!!!!!!!

Quote from: Roll on February 22, 2018, 10:30:27 AM
SECOND BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT NOW!! ESTROGEN DOUBLED!!!!!!!!

Yay

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Quote from: Roll on February 22, 2018, 10:30:27 AM
SECOND BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT NOW!! ESTROGEN DOUBLED!!!!!!!!

That's Awesome Ellie!  I want mine doubled! O wait.... I've not started yet. lol

Hugs,
      Chelsea

Also, here is a virtually makeup free picture for documenting 2 month mark.



I'm wearing light pink lipstick and very light foundation over beard shadow, no color corrector. It's visible this far out from the laser session, but it's still so, so much better than it was even with just the one. I am so excited to have 2 or 3 under my belt to see the effects. Still have a lot of weight to drop that will trim up face some more hopefully along with the fat redistribution giving me a better overall look, and I need to get my eyebrows done so bad.

You'll feel so much better when your brows are done