if I waited too long time with telling my family, with preparations on operation (MTF) ... for example 1 or 2 years, will I be kicked out of the forum?
I hope not, because I don't know where else to go  ...

Michelle

Michelle, dear soul, I'm not quite sure what you're asking, but I think you're trying to find out if mistakes you might make in the non-electronic world are going to get you banned from Susan's? Even if you think you've made mistakes in your personal relations, we are a loving and accepting bunch and we all have done some things we regret.  Re-read the Site Rules and if you abide by those you will be fine. 

Fear not,
Valerie

Quote from: NightAngel on February 28, 2006, 01:23:56 PM
if I waited too long time with telling my family, with preparations on operation (MTF) ... for example 1 or 2 years, will I be kicked out of the forum?
I hope not, because I don't know where else to go  ...

Michelle

Everyone here is supposed to support everyone else. Many waited decades before telling family. You are one of us and will not be kicked out.

beth

Hi Valerie,

hmm ... yes I did send a letter to Susan instead of Caroline ( I didn't have rights for PM yet) and after that I was affraid to send another letter with apologies to Susan. Yes that's one but no ... I asking this:

If I don't start with transition in a year or two, will I be kicked out or I can stay here so long until I start with transition? Basicly I'm still a male and my parents still don't know anything (maybe mother) but not the rest of the family.

thank you Valerie on your quick respond 

Michelle

As Beth said, you won't be kicked out....... It doesn't matter at what stage of transition you are in, or even if you never transition at all. It doesn't matter what gender you identify with or where you fit on the TG spectrum.  You are welcome to stay with us as long as you like, and we hope that will be for a very long time.   

Valerie

QuoteEveryone here is supposed to support everyone else. Many waited decades before telling family. You are one of us and will not be kicked out.

beth

Thank you Beth, now I feel better, I'll try to tell them soon as possible but ... always is some  ''but'' somewhere ... lol ... right now is not the best time, also I want to prepare them a litlle by little etc ... and then certainly some amount of time will take talking with doctors etc ... so I just need time and don't want to be banned because '' I'm still here '' ...

Thank you girls,

cya

Michelle

Do what's right for you, Michelle, not at a pace you think others might expect.

Don't worry, as Valerie said, this site is for all people on the gender spectrum. Whether you transition or not or when you transition is not relevant to your membership here and ability to post. Nor is it relevant to the value of your posts to others.

Different people have different circumstances and we all support that.

Dennis

Don't worry, I'm a TS fully aware what can I expected etc ... just don't know how to deal with the parents ... but it's true, different people have different circumstances.

Thank you Dennis for your support too!

Michelle

Michelle,

A therapist with TG experience should be able to help you in deciding how to talk to your parents.  Make sure you tell him or her that this is a big concern for you.

My mom knows I'm going to therapy but not why.  I am waiting for a confirmation of my diagnosis from my therapist before I tell my family.  I believe that having an objective, medical confirmation will help "back me up" in my announcement.  I suppose that she will be disappointed but not devastated, she knows of my cross dressing.

I'm taking a guess here but here goes, is it Vati or Herr Vater in his attitude towards you?  The difference will, I think, help tell on how he will react.  Has he ever mentioned any opinions about TS girls and boys?  That would be another clue.  The point I'm trying to make is that maybe you are more afraid than necessary.  Speak of this to your doctor and then be brave in your own identity.

mit herzlichen Grüsse,
helen 


Posted at: February 28, 2006, 06:22:41 PM

---

PS - only rude, nasty and mean people are removed from this forum as far as I can tell.  You are none of these things so I will expect to be reading your posts as far into the future as you wish.

h

Michelle,
I think your talking about physical transition. Some of us here will never transition physically and other may not go further than hormones. The only thing I have done is remove most of the hair from my body, and I have to do it often, thin my eyebrows and change my hair style. Right now I don't have any plans to do any major changes to my body.
What I'm saying is that there is much more to transitioning than physical.
Yes you are still a transgender person without changing physically.

Mentally I have transitioned; I have shed most of the male shell that I have worn most of my life.
Michelle you can do this to while your wait till the time for you to be able to physically change. It allowing the real you to come out of hiding and began to take control.
It may help you to become kinder, gentler and more emotional person like it has me.
I feel much better now that I can be myself mentally.
Yes I do love to wear female clothing and wear as much as I can as often as I can. And I still dream of being a woman in everyway.


Jillieann

 

Hi HelenW,

Nein, ist Vati und Mutti attitude  ... yes he does said here and there something about us but nothing good, he's 65 and you know people of the old school.
'' maybe you are more afraid than necessary '' maybe I am, but you never know ... I will speak with my doctor before I told them.

Danke,

mit herzlichen Grüsse,

Michelle 





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Hi Jillieann,

yes, as you said, mentally I have transitioned just parents & epilepsy are my biggest problem, or I would be physically changed ages ago. '' Yes you are still a transgender person without changing physically. '' Yes, that's true and I feel bad because of that every day more. I wish to be a woman more than ever on this world.I hope that I will be, before I die, at least in Heaven or Hell would like to go us a woman and not a man.

Thank you Jillieann,

Michelle 

Quote from: NightAngel on February 28, 2006, 01:23:56 PM
if I waited too long time with telling my family, with preparations on operation (MTF) ... for example 1 or 2 years, will I be kicked out of the forum?
I hope not, because I don't know where else to go  ...

Michelle

Draga Michelle svojim prijateljskim savetima pomogla si svima nama da upoznamo bolje sebe i resimo najintimnije dileme. Svakako mesto ti je ovde..sestro po dushi
Svaki tvoj izbor koji doprinosi tvojoj sreci mi cemo podrzati..ne zuri sa odlukama..a odlaganje  ne mora biti znak slabosti...shansa je za bolje promisljanje. Kad ti je do neceg stalo..vreme nije bitno. Mi cemo biti uvek uz tebe.

Dear Michelle with your friendly advices u help us all in understanding ourselves better and solving our most intimate dilemmas. Of course u belong here..soul sister Each choice that makes u happy we'll support..don't rush with decisions..there's always time.. postponement isn't sign of weakness..it is a chance for finding better solution.We'll always be by you.
:hug:
buddy Andre 

Thank you Andre!!
I'm very glad that everything went good for you also I like your new photo, you really do look like a man.

*hugs*

Michelle

Some of us on the site aren't even transgendered

Theres no curfew hehe... tell whom you want to when you want to... no expectations on our end

I do always lean on the side of truth though... check out the significant others forum... theres quite a few of us non-transgendered-significant-others-of-transgenered folks here

Hi Michelle,

There are many transgendered here who will not transition for what ever reason. I for one am a CD who lives most of my life to the outside world as a male. Few know that Shelley is also along for the ride.

I have made some bad choices on who to tell and some equally bad choices on who not to tell. Our TG lives are our own personal experience and unfortunately few outside of those affected can understand it.

Some of us are fortunate enough to have significant others (SO's)who fully support us, some have So's who put up with us, some SO's who try to turn a blind eye to it and others have SO's who leave us. Many have had bad experiences and choose  to tell as few people as possible. A lot are out in the face of the world and able to fully express themselves.

So as you can see the experiences of others vary greatly. One question that is worth asking is 'do I need to tell' is my TGism at a point where others will be affected. If you have a partner the answer is likely to be yes. If you transition the answer is likely to be more frequently yes but still only to those likely to be affected. Family often but not always falls into this category. Some family relationships are such that coming out to a person will lead to a lot of pain, ridicule and unwanted exposure.

Some would say your parents are in the affected category but that will tend to be reliant on your relationship. If you are transitioning and you wish to continue the relationship with them then you have, as I see it, little choice. Sooner or later your physical appearance will give you away anyway. The timing of that revelation is however entirely your own and it is not for us here at Susan's to judge.

What we will do is provide you with support, friendship and a shoulder to cry on. You may ask why we do this... I can only say because that's what we do here. We are here for each other and we support our new members and help them to become part of what it is to be at Susan's. Some how Susan has been able to maintain this atmosphere of support and friendship and for that we are greatful. It allows those of us who have been reached by another here to continue the favour by reaching out to others.

Consider this post a hand reaching out to in you in friendship and support. You have joined Susan's and posted already you are one of us. Continue to enjoy the experience of being at Susan's the friendship, love and sharing. Participate as one of us and fear not rejection because we do not judge, unlike the outside world.

So Michelle welcome to Susan's the place of sharing and please feel free to share with us.

Shelley

Hi Alison,

QuoteTheres no curfew hehe... tell whom you want to when you want to... no expectations on our end 

Are you sure about curfew  ,

well, I thought better to ask, before I start transition, because I don't want to lose friends at Susan's at the time when I will mostly needed your support, opinions etc ...

Thank you Alison,

*hug*

Michelle



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Hi Dear Shelley,

Yes, I will need to tell my parents, sisters and it's a very low possibility that they will accepted me as a TS ... so that's mean that I will need to move out ... for now I live on the second floor in fathers house.
Sisters are moved years ago to her husbands houses ... ....
So this is the first what will probably happened ... moving out and found another place to stay.
The second ... probably loosing my job ... ok, Goodbye job, I'm already way too loooong in this company and hopefuly Welcome new job.
Third thing - friends, well who want to be my friend is welcome and who don't I don't care.
Fortunately I'm not married,at least about that I don't have to worry.
And than my long waited journey can begann. 
But before I told my family about my TS I really need to consult with some psychiatrist.

Thank you Dear Shelley, I feel as I'm between sisters and brothers any time I came here at Susan's, Thank you friends.

Michelle

Quote from: NightAngel on February 28, 2006, 01:51:47 PM
hmm ... yes I did send a letter to Susan instead of Caroline ( I didn't have rights for PM yet) and after that I was affraid to send another letter with apologies to Susan. Yes that's one but no ...

I never bite people's heads off for simply making mistakes. I also never snap at anyone for asking questions

Quote from: NightAngel on February 28, 2006, 01:51:47 PM
I asking this:
If I don't start with transition in a year or two, will I be kicked out or I can stay here so long until I start with transition? Basicly I'm still a male and my parents still don't know anything (maybe mother) but not the rest of the family.

This says it best.....

QuoteEvery one is welcome at Susan's Place  if you follow the basic rules: This site is an open support area and is not generally sexually oriented. This site is for the discussion of issues related to gender and may include Transsexualism, Transvestism, Crossdressing, or other related topics. This web site exists try to provide constructive input and support.

There is no requirement that you plan on transitition, there is no requirement that you even be transgender. The only requirement is that you follow the rules which are mostly common sense.

The purposes of this site are simple:

          1. Providing Information and Education
          2. Providing Support
          3. Preventing Tragedy
          4. Companionship

So basically anything goes provided it doesn't violate the site rules.

Hi Dear Susan,

QuoteI never bite people's heads off for simply making mistakes. I also never snap at anyone for asking questions 

You know how it is, you would like to fit in that community but already on the start you make a mistake.
Please take my apology,


and Thank you Dear Susan,

Michelle

Quote from: NightAngel on March 04, 2006, 10:22:13 AM
Please take my apology,

You had nothing to apologize for.