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The Roll Show! (Filmed Live in Front of a Studio Audience)

Started by Roll, November 08, 2017, 09:52:07 AM

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Laurie

Hi Ellie,

  It seems I missed your birthday party. I'm sorry. Belated !!yadhtriB yppaH

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Roll

Quote from: Laurie on February 22, 2018, 10:43:28 PM
!!yadhtriB yppaH

SHE'S SPEAKING TONGUES, GET THE HOLY WATER!




.... seriously though, thank you! :) (And everyone else! I have been crying at the drop of a hat the last few days, it has felt pretty good even when it feels bad.)
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

Sarah_P

Quote from: Roll on February 23, 2018, 07:22:13 AM
SHE'S SPEAKING TONGUES, GET THE HOLY WATER!




.... seriously though, thank you! :) (And everyone else! I have been crying at the drop of a hat the last few days, it has felt pretty good even when it feels bad.)

Gotta love them hormones!  :D
--Sarah P

There's a world out there, just waiting
If you only let go what's inside
Live every moment, give it your all, enjoy the ride
- Stan Bush, The Journey



  •  

Roll

New numbers in!

Testosterone is down from 1480 to 698, so that is great, but does mean I'm sort of just now at the starting point for many people. Still, I seem to be making progress regardless.

Estradiol is up to 57 from 36, which doctor said was really good for the low dose.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

PurpleWolf

Quote from: Roll on February 26, 2018, 02:48:18 PM
New numbers in!

Testosterone is down from 1480 to 698, so that is great, but does mean I'm sort of just now at the starting point for many people. Still, I seem to be making progress regardless.

Estradiol is up to 57 from 36, which doctor said was really good for the low dose.
Okay sounds cool though I don't know what the heck you're talking about  ;D!!!
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

- A social butterfly not living in social isolation anymore  ;D -
(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day
  •  

Laurie

It's progress Ellie! The numbers are going the right way.

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

Cassi

Quote from: PurpleWolf on February 26, 2018, 03:50:24 PM
Okay sounds cool though I don't know what the heck you're talking about  ;D!!!

That's because you're a MAN and don't understand WOMEN thangs!!! :)
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

amberwaves

Quote from: Roll on February 26, 2018, 02:48:18 PM
New numbers in!

Testosterone is down from 1480 to 698, so that is great, but does mean I'm sort of just now at the starting point for many people. Still, I seem to be making progress regardless.

Estradiol is up to 57 from 36, which doctor said was really good for the low dose.
Yes the T is well within typical male ranges so more Spiro for you.  You must not be peeing enough yet [emoji16] that's honest about a standard deviation above typical males our age, so still above average.  The E going up is an excellent sign.  You are just slightly above menopausal range.  Still well shy of where you want but your on the right path.  My 3 month check up had my E go from 25.2 to a whopping 28.6 already doing better than I did.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

  •  

Roll

Quote from: amberwaves on February 27, 2018, 06:31:23 PM
Yes the T is well within typical male ranges so more Spiro for you.  You must not be peeing enough yet [emoji16] that's honest about a standard deviation above typical males our age, so still above average.  The E going up is an excellent sign.  You are just slightly above menopausal range.  Still well shy of where you want but your on the right path.  My 3 month check up had my E go from 25.2 to a whopping 28.6 already doing better than I did.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

Since it started out so high and has dropped over half already, she is leaving dosage of spiro alone to see if it just needed time to play catch-up. Another followup in 2 months to see where I am at to decide what to do with spiro now that numbers are going down to normal range.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

PollyQMcLovely

Quote from: Roll on February 27, 2018, 06:33:46 PM
She is leaving dosage of spiro alone to see if it just needed time to play catch-up.

I'm anxious about my levels, and would like to know if Spiro 'needing to play catch-up' is a common occurrence and if so what is the time frame?

Edit: Does the same go for E?
  •  

Roll

Quote from: PollyQMcLovely on February 27, 2018, 08:08:57 PM
I'm anxious about my levels, and would like to know if Spiro 'needing to play catch-up' is a common occurrence and if so what is the time frame?

Edit: Does the same go for E?

Well, in my case my starting level of testosterone was absurdly high, 1480 (average is under half that and ceiling and usually around 1000). Dropping 800 points is a big deal, but since it was so high to begin with that just puts me at average versus down to nothing (which is the goal). But since it is clearly already doing what it needs to, no need to add additional costs/side effects/etc. as long as it is. It is, as far as I know, extraordinarily rare for testosterone to be that high, ever, even for people 15 years younger than me, so this should not be something you need to worry about.

E just sort of does what its going to do based on genetics as far as I know. I have a feeling my body likes hormones, which is why it had so much testosterone to begin with and seems to have taken to the estrogen pretty well even on a tiny dose.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

Sarah_P

Good to hear the 'mones are working! Halving the T and doubling the E is a good sign! Here's hoping the next numbers are even more exciting!
--Sarah P

There's a world out there, just waiting
If you only let go what's inside
Live every moment, give it your all, enjoy the ride
- Stan Bush, The Journey



  •  

Bari Jo

It's going in the right direction Ellie.  It might take a bit to get to whatever your doctor thinks is ideal. Mine liked to go slow too.  At 8 months in, I'm at the ideal that my doctor wanted.  I feel great too.

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
  •  

Roll

While still haven't hit them with a door (I don't understand the logistics of that honestly, maybe I'm just used to years of being overweight so give doors wide berth?), breasts and nipples are definitely in a lot of pain and I keep doing things to hurt them. Apparently, I can no longer put anything in a shirt pocket, and running is a thing of the past.

Also, I talked to my dad about starting to go part time around house. I'm stuck in a horrible middle ground of needing to but being terrified to. And in that vein, I have started getting rid of a lot of guy clothes. Anything winter related (winter is over here) I never plan to wear again(as if I'm not full time by next winter in the south, something has gone wrong), so it's getting sold or going to goodwill. Stuff that is way too big on me now after losing so much weight, good will. Anything damaged, trash or rags. I'm going to keep trimming down male clothes until I get to the point I have no choice but to go to part time then full time unless I do laundry every other day. ;D

On the non-hrt front, I am going crazy with school. While over the last year and a half I've been able to focus on it fairly readily and go all out with much issue, something has really changed. I find myself caring just a little less, and really having to force myself to work on classes. I think it is because it is no longer the most important (or really only) thing in my life.

And back to HRT for a moment, holy crap! Just looked at my arms and realized there is no visible hair and I haven't shaved in at least a week, when at the beginning of the year it would be obvious in a day or two. Cutting that testosterone down even to normal levels is making a crazy difference.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

Cassi

Quote from: Roll on February 28, 2018, 10:54:06 PM
While still haven't hit them with a door (I don't understand the logistics of that honestly, maybe I'm just used to years of being overweight so give doors wide berth?), breasts and nipples are definitely in a lot of pain and I keep doing things to hurt them. Apparently, I can no longer put anything in a shirt pocket, and running is a thing of the past.

Also, I talked to my dad about starting to go part time around house. I'm stuck in a horrible middle ground of needing to but being terrified to. And in that vein, I have started getting rid of a lot of guy clothes. Anything winter related (winter is over here) I never plan to wear again(as if I'm not full time by next winter in the south, something has gone wrong), so it's getting sold or going to goodwill. Stuff that is way too big on me now after losing so much weight, good will. Anything damaged, trash or rags. I'm going to keep trimming down male clothes until I get to the point I have no choice but to go to part time then full time unless I do laundry every other day. ;D

On the non-hrt front, I am going crazy with school. While over the last year and a half I've been able to focus on it fairly readily and go all out with much issue, something has really changed. I find myself caring just a little less, and really having to force myself to work on classes. I think it is because it is no longer the most important (or really only) thing in my life.

And back to HRT for a moment, holy crap! Just looked at my arms and realized there is no visible hair and I haven't shaved in at least a week, when at the beginning of the year it would be obvious in a day or two. Cutting that testosterone down even to normal levels is making a crazy difference.

Awesome little Sis, as always, you give me something to look forward to though mine have continuously hurt for weeks now. 
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

Cassi

HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

Sarah_P

Quote from: Roll on February 28, 2018, 10:54:06 PM
Also, I talked to my dad about starting to go part time around house. I'm stuck in a horrible middle ground of needing to but being terrified to.

That's a great first step. That's what I did once I moved in with my friends. They were the first ones to ever see me dressed as a woman, and they were so cool about it.

And I'm really happy for you on the body hair front. I epilate twice a week, and it doesn't feel like my legs are ever really smooth.
--Sarah P

There's a world out there, just waiting
If you only let go what's inside
Live every moment, give it your all, enjoy the ride
- Stan Bush, The Journey



  •  

Bari Jo

Ahh, you'll get the door experience soon enough.  My favorite is just picking up and holding a box against your chest.  It's very enjoyable pain!  I'm doing the same with my boy clothes.  I have a tiny amount of it still and hate it.  I don't ever want to wear a suit again.

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
  •  

Roll

Quote from: Bari Jo on February 28, 2018, 11:36:37 PM
Ahh, you'll get the door experience soon enough.  My favorite is just picking up and holding a box against your chest.  It's very enjoyable pain!  I'm doing the same with my boy clothes.  I have a tiny amount of it still and hate it.  I don't ever want to wear a suit again.

Bari Jo

I was fortunate enough not to own any suits for a number of reasons (such as mysterious panic attacks that no on else seemed to have wearing them, gee, wonder why ;D), but the super guy style stuff is definitely bothering me. Fortunately my wardrobe consisted heavily of comic book t-shirts, and those I'm keeping since t-shirts are petty generic anyway. Though I want to buy some more girl cut ones for sure as development happens so they don't just hang loose.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

PurpleWolf

Quote from: Roll on February 28, 2018, 10:54:06 PM
I'm going to keep trimming down male clothes until I get to the point I have no choice but to go to part time then full time unless I do laundry every other day. ;D
Way to go girl  :D!!!

Quote from: Roll on February 28, 2018, 10:54:06 PM
On the non-hrt front, I am going crazy with school. While over the last year and a half I've been able to focus on it fairly readily and go all out with much issue, something has really changed. I find myself caring just a little less, and really having to force myself to work on classes. I think it is because it is no longer the most important (or really only) thing in my life.
Same!!! I have people to talk to now plus I'm actually looking forward to something!!! And gotta take care of so many things I've been neglecting over the years...! It seems transitioning (& improving my life in general) is the only thing I keep thinking about...! Plus my new friends,  ;).

Quote from: Roll on February 28, 2018, 10:54:06 PM
And back to HRT for a moment, holy crap! Just looked at my arms and realized there is no visible hair and I haven't shaved in at least a week, when at the beginning of the year it would be obvious in a day or two. Cutting that testosterone down even to normal levels is making a crazy difference.
Cool!

And congrats on the boobs, girl  ;)! I love them when they're on someone else's body  ;D! Hope you'll get a good pair,  ;)
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

- A social butterfly not living in social isolation anymore  ;D -
(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day
  •