This morning I had a consultation with my therapist and she said something weird. I didn't think she would say this but she did.

She said that I subconsciously want SRS but that I am scared to go through it.
She called the fact that I don't want to use my penis during sex " a coping mechanism for dysphoria " . We had a 2 hour session. We discussed SRS in depth.
She told me that I am scared of going through this major surgery but that it is clear that I do not like having a penis.

I asked her what my options were :

She talked about how getting an orchiectomy would help me adjust to the idea of altered genitalia. It is an outpatient surgery and not that intensive if I may believe her. She is willing to write a letter for it if I feel ready for it.

I told her I was not feeling like SRS is for me.
The orchiectomy down the road somewhere, sounds like a good idea. SRS is not for me.

I am of the opinion that everyone has to find their trans-equilibrium and not go any further than that.

For me my equilibrium is living as a passable woman with a penis.
Feminization from estrogen, a breast augmentation and facial feminization surgery but keeping the surprise intact, down there.

An orchie is something I really consider to boost the effects of the estrogen but anything more than an orchie is way too much out of my comfort-zone.

No idea why my therapist claims that not wanting your genitalia touched = severe dysphoria?

That's pretty interesting.  I didn't think that a therapist was supposed to tell you what you wanted and that they were supposed to help you decide what you want, and what drives you.

Quote from: Artesia on March 01, 2018, 08:40:08 AM
That's pretty interesting.  I didn't think that a therapist was supposed to tell you what you wanted and that they were supposed to help you decide what you want, and what drives you.

It's not going to change my view on SRS anyway. I don't want it and I don't let anyone force me.
There is nothing wrong with being a girl with a D.
My therapist was trained as a sexologist and not as a gender specific therapist, she has a bachelors degree and a masters degree though.

She helped me with HRT a few years ago as well.

People seam shocked when you want to live as a woman with dangly bits.

Society still wants to force THE OPERATION on every trans person it seams.

I am a binary woman and my penis doesn't threaten my womanhood.

Some girls have a penis and some boys don't.

I will probably go through the orchiectomy at one point though.
Especially now that she expressed being comfortable writing a letter for it.

She has two other trans patients too. The other two are trans men.

Your therapist might be challenging you to really examine what you want and what you need by the sounds of it. Which is good because it's important you don't rule something out without being clear in your mind that's what you want. But then if you don't have it done you can still choose later.

I agree with the transequallibrium and that no one should feel pressured to have to go further than they feel they need to. Very few people are ever going to see my genitalia (I can't speak for others obviously...). If you reach a point you are happy at then there is nothing with staying there. And society needs to learn this. No one should feel  that have to go down a route they aren't comfortable with. You can always go further but going back is much harder.

I'm planning on going down the orchie only route as I want to focus on feminising my face and figure more than having GCS. However for me it is still an issue that obviously won't go away. I personally find the fact that I could sort the issue out if I ever wanted to very comforting.

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