Going to be a long story.
Anyway, a hundred or so years ago, after getting out of the Marines and attending college on the GI Bill, I worked at a local hospital in addition to going to school. I had a one bedroom apartment and the sofa in the living room was a sofa bed. I had a water bed in my room.
Anyway, from time to time, I'd let people crash on the sofa in the living room. My only rule was that my room was my kingdom and no one was to go in there - unless invited.
A friend was staying for a little while and on my night off from work and school, I did some partying. So there were a few guys and we're all drunk. About a block away was a park that had a lake that had an island that had ducks. Joking with one of the guys I was drinking with, I said I was going to sneak onto the island and get me a duck and cook it (didn't have a clue on how to cook it).
So, me - carrying a duffel bag, and a couple of other guys, go to the park and I get into the water - stealth mode, get to the island, stealthfully get thru the bushes and grab me the first duck I can get - doing all this drunk.
I take the duck and put it into my duffel bag and we head back to my place. One guy was all upset because I said I was going to cook the duck and when we returned to my place I let the duck out of the bag - it was the ugliest duck I had ever seen. Anyway, one of the guys starts giving it popcorn seeds and the duck eats the popcorn seeds and then flaps his wings all over the place.
In the meanwhile, another friend had come back and somehow ended up in my bed and had crashed. Finding this out, I took the duck and threw a punch of popcorn seeds on the bed, threw the duck in there and closed the door - the duck automatically went for the popcorn seeds which were all over my friend.
My friend comes running out of my room yelling about angels and wings. Once he calmed down, we went back to the room and turned on the light to show him that no angels were after him.
He was not a happy camper. As for the duck, I ate it - no, not really, I took the duck back to the park.