Quote from: Kendra on February 19, 2018, 01:46:03 PM
Good memories are better than the alternative - bad memories.  As for the bad memories... learn from them, change things that can be changed and remember to shut the door when you move on. 

The way I look at it, many of the positive things I experienced in the past can't be experienced again so I'll just have to go collect some awesome new good memories.

Thanks Kendra,

I haven't had an easy life like many of us here, so today is all about getting prepared for tomorrow and tomorrow will be in preparation for the day after that.
I'm not hiding away anymore, so if society gives me a chance I think I could make a small difference somewhere.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Had the gas man around this evening for a safety check. It's the first time I've had someone in my house presenting as myself. I was nervous for the knock on the door but in reality it was all fine and so was the boiler

So nothing amazingly exciting to post other than dealing with real life issues one day at a time. I think the small things matter though.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on February 22, 2018, 02:53:09 PM
Had the gas man around this evening for a safety check. It's the first time I've had someone in my house presenting as myself. I was nervous for the knock on the door but in reality it was all fine and so was the boiler

So nothing amazingly exciting to post other than dealing with real life issues one day at a time. I think the small things matter though.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

@ Sadie:   that is good about the gas safety check being OK...   and even better about having a guest in your home presenting as yourself....   one step at a time... baby steps first then the bigger ones!!!!   Be positive and have confidence.   Glad to hear the good report.
Aspiringperson

Quote from: Aspiringperson on February 22, 2018, 03:02:52 PM
@ Sadie:   that is good about the gas safety check being OK...   and even better about having a guest in your home presenting as yourself....   one step at a time... baby steps first then the bigger ones!!!!   Be positive and have confidence.   Glad to hear the good report.
Aspiringperson

Thanks for the support Aspiringperson

I'm very much a baby steps kind of girl although most of the big stuff is behind me now it seems.
I've been full time for nearly a year now but still struggle with certain social situations, but a lot of that isn't gender related. Also I'm finding my way as a woman in this world, it's going to take some adjusting for sure but way less jarring than the hiding away I've done for all these years.

My next big steps will all be about a physical transformation, but that is a while off yet with the waiting times for the U.K. Clinics being what they are. Hopefully by the end of this year I'll get seen, I just don't know.
I don't really mind though, the dysphoria is manageable most days as long as I don't fixate on it and follow a few set rules, I get by. I'm already living as myself so yeh, things are starting to come together.

I hope you are well,

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Well it's been a strange week for me. I'm still getting used to my family calling me Sadie swiftly followed by all the apologies when they don't. So I've got a bit of an identity crisis going on just now but I'm sure things will settle over time.

Been snowed in for the passed few days so going stir crazy. At least its given me a chance to finish up some work on the house I've been meaning to do, but I could do without the -10 windchill. Not skirt weather for sure.

Had a meeting with my regular therapist the other day which went well. I've been at a stable depression/anxiety level for a good few months now which is good for me. So I'll take that as a positive and live for today which as of this moment involves designing some shirts for my local running club.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on March 02, 2018, 04:10:17 AM
Well it's been a strange week for me. I'm still getting used to my family calling me Sadie swiftly followed by all the apologies when they don't. So I've got a bit of an identity crisis going on just now but I'm sure things will settle over time.

Been snowed in for the passed few days so going stir crazy. At least its given me a chance to finish up some work on the house I've been meaning to do, but I could do without the -10 windchill. Not skirt weather for sure.

Had a meeting with my regular therapist the other day which went well. I've been at a stable depression/anxiety level for a good few months now which is good for me. So I'll take that as a positive and live for today which as of this moment involves designing some shirts for my local running club.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

  It's great that your family is accepting you for who you are. They are trying to get the name right and that is worth something, Hun. I know all about that having to get used to hearing our own names. It's strange and different than us using it online. It is what we want others to say but we have to work at accepting it as our names.
  You are doing good girl.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Laurie on March 02, 2018, 05:14:41 AM
Hi Sadie,

  It's great that your family is accepting you for who you are. They are trying to get the name right and that is worth something, Hun. I know all about that having to get used to hearing our own names. It's strange and different than us using it online. It is what we want others to say but we have to work at accepting it as our names.
  You are doing good girl.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Like most families it's complicated Laurie.

On the plus side my immediate neighbours just dropped around with a food parcel and to check that I was doing o.k. in the cold weather conditions. I think it was an olive branch as we'd kind of been avoiding each other since I went full time. So there was no uncomfortable conversation, just a nice basket of goodies

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Sadie!  So much good news - this is great!  No open hostilities, people making good efforts.  You are a kind person and people around you are reciprocating in positive ways.

See my theory is that 90 + % of folk are fine its just the odd idiot that causes all the trouble in the world

Quote from: Kendra on March 02, 2018, 02:19:04 PM
Sadie!  So much good news - this is great!  No open hostilities, people making good efforts.  You are a kind person and people around you are reciprocating in positive ways.

Thank you Kendra.
I'm still on a self-esteem building mission but little events like this help a bunch, as do your kind words.
Hope you are recovering well

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: davina61 on March 02, 2018, 02:59:07 PM
See my theory is that 90 + % of folk are fine its just the odd idiot that causes all the trouble in the world

Wise words Davina, you are right of course. I try not to give said idiots a platform these days.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Well another week over and another week closer to the Gender Clinic and hopefully some sort of way forward.
Yes, I'm kind of in limbo land, but it's o.k. I can think of a lot worse places to be in this world.

I've had a lot of migraines for the past few weeks, which is new. I've never suffered from headaches so I think a trip to the docs is in order.
I'm probably over stressed but don't realise it. I'm sure autism has something to do with it as the thing with autism is that everything is turned up to eleven....all of the time . It's my natural state to feel discombobulated. Add trying to process gender issues on top and things can get overwhelming. Truth be told though I wouldn't have it any other way. It's who I am and what makes me.... me. I think I do alright

Had a nice visit to the brow bar this week, for the first time I was charged female rates I think they've finally cottoned on, with a little persistence on my part, that trans women 'are' women. A small victory, but these little victories all add up. It's nice just to feel normal and out of the spotlight for a change.

Off to the local TG group tonight. Again I do struggle with social situations if a lot of people are talking at once, I get overwhelmed quite easily. But I do enjoy meeting my people for the most part even if it is uncomfortable at times.

So that's it, where I'm at this week. Making progress in a few areas and struggling a little in others, but mostly I'm just living and getting on with my life. Mothers day tomorrow, I'll make sure it's a special time for her, but only this time the card will be from her daughter.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

@ shy: So sorry to hear about your personally difficult trials and tribulations ... and your happy moments too,  revealed in your last posting.   Hang in there girl... no one said that transitioning is all fun.... it is exciting for sure, it has it's successful moments and moments of frustrations and disappointments too... but when you finally get near your goals, it is so rewarding and well worth the effort... no pain, no gain they say.

Susan's is such a nice place to be able to share about your journey.  Here you can find support but also you have good things to offer to others as well.
Looking forward to your continuing updates.
Wishing you well,
Danielle ...  formerly Aspiringperson

Good to see you hanging in there Sadie. I know some of the activities are hard for you, but dog gone it you stick to them until they get better. I've seen you do it girl and I"m ptoud of you. From the pits of despair we can find our way back into the light. My days are getting brighter too. This little road trip I am on is helping with every person I visit.
  Look for the light, Sadie. It's there to find.

Hugs,
   Laurie

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Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 10, 2018, 12:40:06 PM
@ shy: So sorry to hear about your personally difficult trials and tribulations ... and your happy moments too,  revealed in your last posting.   Hang in there girl... no one said that transitioning is all fun.... it is exciting for sure, it has it's successful moments and moments of frustrations and disappointments too... but when you finally get near your goals, it is so rewarding and well worth the effort... no pain, no gain they say.

Thanks for stopping by Danielle

I'm actually doing o.k. barring the headaches. Had a nice night out with the ladies at the TG group last night.

I've gone from being isolated for thirty years, to full time a year ago to meeting new people and finding my place in the world again. Phew. I also did this on my own, there is no support for us trans folk in the U.K. for years. In a way I'm kind of glad as I've developed a resilience I never thought I had.

I was only diagnosed autistic recently, quite late in life, so it's been quite a lot to take in but I'm slowly getting comfortable with the idea that I experience the world in a slightly different way than most.
I'm quite normal though, most would never know unless I make it known, but make it known I shall. I'm done with all the hiding, Cindy taught me that Maybe it will help others in a similar situation if I can share my transition as an autistic lady.
Social stigma is a powerful thing, and I have experienced it from a TG and recently an autistic perspective. So this is me doing my bit, It really helps you popping by and saying hello with words of encouragement. Seriously it means a lot to be able to share untethered and candidly about my life.

I hope you are well and all is good in Alaska and the bears are behaving

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Laurie on March 10, 2018, 09:34:42 PM
Good to see you hanging in there Sadie. I know some of the activities are hard for you, but dog gone it you stick to them until they get better. I've seen you do it girl and I"m ptoud of you. From the pits of despair we can find our way back into the light. My days are getting brighter too. This little road trip I am on is helping with every person I visit.
  Look for the light, Sadie. It's there to find.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Thanks Laurie

Yup, were tough old birds And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way. When we struggle we learn empathy and the ability to reach out to others in similar situations. You my dear have been a rock to me

Good to see you bouncing back Laurie, I know depression, so I know where you've been. Spring is on it's way girl so don't forget to stop to smell the flowers and listen to the birds chatter, just don't feed the squirrels . Life is for living so lets get on with just that Have an awesome road trip and recharge those batteries, Sadies orders or I'll mention the 'M' word, just incase you thought I'd forgotten

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on March 11, 2018, 06:24:51 AM
Thanks Laurie

Yup, were tough old birds And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way. When we struggle we learn empathy and the ability to reach out to others in similar situations. You my dear have been a rock to me

Good to see you bouncing back Laurie, I know depression, so I know where you've been. Spring is on it's way girl so don't forget to stop to smell the flowers and listen to the birds chatter, just don't feed the squirrels . Life is for living so lets get on with just that Have an awesome road trip and recharge those batteries, Sadies orders or I'll mention the 'M' word, just incase you thought I'd forgotten

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

M word? Oh that. Did that several days ago with Jessica. You really need to keep up girl.

  Yes, spring is a lovely time with life renewing itself. Animals and birds, new leaves and flowers blossoming. It is a beautiful time of the year. I won't ruin it for you. Just enjoy it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Shy on March 10, 2018, 04:58:43 AM
.....
Off to the local TG group tonight. Again I do struggle with social situations if a lot of people are talking at once, I get overwhelmed quite easily. But I do enjoy meeting my people for the most part even if it is uncomfortable at times.

So that's it, where I'm at this week. Making progress in a few areas and struggling a little in others, but mostly I'm just living and getting on with my life. Mothers day tomorrow, I'll make sure it's a special time for her, but only this time the card will be from her daughter.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

I can remember being in a "holding pattern" waiting on my first Psychs appointment before I could start on HRT...it seemed endless and my thoughts were never far from that at all. But you are right its another day closer than it was. Still feel like forever though!!

Good deal on the brow's...I think that's a great "win" although I imagine getting the women's rates makes it dearer than it was before...its a bit like women's haircuts...I used to do my own and now it is a $50 min each time. Ah the joys LOL

Take care

Liz

Quote from: ElizabethK on March 12, 2018, 03:48:34 AM
I can remember being in a "holding pattern" waiting on my first Psychs appointment before I could start on HRT...it seemed endless and my thoughts were never far from that at all. But you are right its another day closer than it was. Still feel like forever though!!

Good deal on the brow's...I think that's a great "win" although I imagine getting the women's rates makes it dearer than it was before...its a bit like women's haircuts...I used to do my own and now it is a $50 min each time. Ah the joys LOL

Take care

Liz

Yes, it's a long wait for us here in the U.K. It's been 14months and counting for me so far but I'm o.k. with it. I know my slot will come up eventually and in the mean time I have lots to get on with. If I wasn't full time I think I'd struggle more.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Well unbeknown to me my medical records have now been officially changed to read Mx. It popped up on an appointment slip for my docs.
I never asked for a change, but It did make me feel better somehow. I know I'm in the halfway house holding pen just now so It was nice for the acknowledgement
Little things like this calm the squirrels, I warmed to it instantly as another step in my journey. Next stop Miss

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie