I think that tone is all in how we accept ourselves.  People who are cool with themselves, tend not to care too much about what others might think.  But if you are trying to be one thing, and everyone sees you as something else - well I can feel the conflict in that.

But some of us tweeners have issues with how we're perceived too.   Just ask Nero.  He had to listen to me whine about it.

Quote from: Rebis on March 13, 2008, 07:40:28 AM

But some of us tweeners have issues with how we're perceived too.   Just ask Nero.  He had to listen to me whine about it.

I also have issues regarding being perceived as what people see externally. I deal with it, but it does bother me.

Z

i suppose we must deal with it, there's not really a way to correct our problem. Or maybe that is just me.

Quote from: Pica Pica on March 13, 2008, 02:09:26 PM
i suppose we must deal with it, there's not really a way to correct our problem. Or maybe that is just me.

Do you ever have issues with how you're perceived? Any social dysphoria at all?

i don't really get how i am perceived. so i just pretend everyone percieves me as i do - and all is better.

and how do YOU perceive you? (set yourself up for that one)

friendly, cosy talkbox

Hmm, a friendly cozy talk box?  Friendly, snuggly, filled with things to say.  That's what I gathered from your posts.  Oh, that sounds like a rather mild temperament to me.  I guess androgynes are mild because they can be.  Like the neutrals in Futurama.  "If I don't make it out alive tell my wife I said...hello."

Quote from: Nero on March 13, 2008, 02:14:13 PM
Do you ever have issues with how you're perceived? Any social dysphoria at all?

Totally - I always, well almost always get perceived as man. Occasionaly I get mistaken for a woman on the phone because I have a soft voice and I often pick up with a high pitched purky 'Hi!'. I kind of like that, makes a change.

I hate being mistaken for a man. I don't like it. I don't like how the women in my section say things like "with the new guy starting you don't have to be the only one", or when my mum introduces me as "this is my son", or how I receive mail from the bank and it has a Mr on it even though I told them not to, I hate how there are only two boxes for gender on internet forms and I have to fill one out and I can't decide what I dislike the least, I hate how I am included in man jokes or how women get together to talk about their husbands and roll their eyes saying "men" including me as an object for their good humored scorn. I don't like how people assume my sexuality is homosexual from the way I look (though I don't mind getting hit on by the guys as long as they are not too sleazy - I once stayed in a backpackers and this guy came up to me and said "I noticed you have a big cock", of course I could only reply "not really, it is the only safe place to keep my keys but there goes that theory"). I dislike how when I buy womans underwear everyone around me seems to freak out like I am a pervert and I end up feeling like I am one.

I understand it though, I have a mans body and I do have many behaviours lots of people classify as male. It makes me want to just curl up and cry at the unfairness of it all, there is nowhere to go to escape it - except if I hang out with lesbians. Lesbians are great, they often seem to accept me as a kindred spirit and I love them for it, and their porn is nice.

Put some fur on Pica Pica and he could go as a warm and fuzzy. 

Cindy

Quote from: NickSister on March 14, 2008, 02:09:35 AM
I hate being mistaken for a man. I don't like it.

I don't really mind that, if it's as far as it goes. Things like being told 'you only say that because you are a man' really hurt, though (regardless of whether I said that because I was stupid or because I was right). Some of my acquaintances subscribe to the kind of feminism that results on these remarks, which is why I've always considered myself an 'I'm not a feminist, but'. Similarly, I've never really liked situations where the males around me expect me to like hockey or sexist jokes (and the absolutely worst part of puberty was when the rising testosterone levels tried to steer me to the last-mentioned direction, but fortunately that didn't last very long).

So, no, being perceived as a man (or a woman) isn't a problem. Being expected to behave a certain way because of that perceived gender is.

  Nfr

Quote from: NickSister on March 14, 2008, 02:09:35 AM

Quote from: Nero on March 13, 2008, 02:14:13 PM
Do you ever have issues with how you're perceived? Any social dysphoria at all?

Totally - I always, well almost always get perceived as man. Occasionaly I get mistaken for a woman on the phone... I kind of like that, makes a change.

.... I don't like how the women ... say things like "with the new guy starting you don't have to be the only one"..., I hate how there are only two boxes for gender on internet forms ..., I hate how I am included in man jokes or how women get together to talk about their husbands and roll their eyes saying "men" including me as an object for their good humored scorn. ....

Ditto on the above. As for clothes, I've only gone as far as red and blue shoes, an aqua unisex night shirt, and a T-shirt with a small print of squirrels, etc. Though last night at the sporting goods store, I bought some training pants to see if they'd be gentler on my catheterized parts and they are all several inches too long. I wondered if women runners with the same waist might have shorter legs, but I didn't check it out.

When our daughter was a baby, my wife belonged to a new mothers group, and would come and rail at "you men". My jaw would fall open, and then she'd remember who she was with. And in cooking classes or the League of Women Voters, I'd get asked if I didn't feel uncomfortable being the only man: NO. I feel uncomfortable with a group of men talking about investments and sports ad nauseum. And I refuse to join any club or social group that excludes women.

I know Pica Pica likes boxes, but the box of "those men" is one I'd like to escape; I just don't belong.

Simone

Quote from: NickSister on March 14, 2008, 02:09:35 AM
Totally - I always, well almost always get perceived as man. Occasionaly I get mistaken for a woman on the phone because I have a soft voice and I often pick up with a high pitched purky 'Hi!'. I kind of like that, makes a change.

I hate being mistaken for a man. I don't like it. I don't like how the women in my section say things like "with the new guy starting you don't have to be the only one", or when my mum introduces me as "this is my son", or how I receive mail from the bank and it has a Mr on it even though I told them not to, I hate how there are only two boxes for gender on internet forms and I have to fill one out and I can't decide what I dislike the least, I hate how I am included in man jokes or how women get together to talk about their husbands and roll their eyes saying "men" including me as an object for their good humored scorn. I don't like how people assume my sexuality is homosexual from the way I look (though I don't mind getting hit on by the guys as long as they are not too sleazy - I once stayed in a backpackers and this guy came up to me and said "I noticed you have a big cock", of course I could only reply "not really, it is the only safe place to keep my keys but there goes that theory"). I dislike how when I buy womans underwear everyone around me seems to freak out like I am a pervert and I end up feeling like I am one.

I understand it though, I have a mans body and I do have many behaviours lots of people classify as male. It makes me want to just curl up and cry at the unfairness of it all, there is nowhere to go to escape it - except if I hang out with lesbians. Lesbians are great, they often seem to accept me as a kindred spirit and I love them for it, and their porn is nice.

I can relate to much of what is there. I don't mind so much the pronouns or most people thinking I am a male, but I hate being lumped in with other males and it being assumed I have similar behavior or expectations (yes, I know that sounds ridiculous). At one job the women would start chatting and every now and again they would look at me and just say "oh sorry", I would rather you just continue what you were doing instead of acknowledging the fact that I do not belong in the conversation. Of course getting this across to them never worked.

I found similar to you with the lesbians, but I thought maybe I was the only one who experienced this, they seem to quickly pick up that I am not a typical male and accept me as one of them. Sometimes taking that acceptance to extremes.

I have not done the underwear thing but I have had some strange experiences with men thinking I was something I am not, I seem to attract all types of people.

Quote from: cindybc on March 14, 2008, 02:57:02 AM
Put some fur on Pica Pica and he could go as a warm and fuzzy. 

Cindy

Nah. Sie's fluffy enough already.

Im trying to accept myself...thats hard

How am I perceived?: Mostly as a gay guy I guess, which I dont really like....not the gay part and most definately not the guy part
But do I want to be perceived as a woman? If I had to choose then yes.....but I like to be described as a bisexual fairy most

Im trying my best to get out of this "men"box...it sucks, but the "women"box is something odd to me aswell

I think if I were able to look male, I'd prefer to be perceived that way.    I thought I was all right, but giving possibility to something I thought was impossible has made me a little sad.  *sigh*

It's okay, Jaimey, the sadness will pass, then come back, then pass again...

now I'm a little sad.   

I understand Jaimey. I'm TS, but I understand how it is to not be perceived how you want. And to wish your body fit more closely with your identity.

Speaking of emotions I was on a roller coaster of emotions all day today and I don't know why.

Cindy