When we feel we are by our very nature deeply flawed, self-indulgent, selfish, judgmental and sinful. Our efforts to fulfill our soul's longing to live fully become efforts to control, chastise, reshape, improve, and change ourselves. Believing by nature we are lazy and unworthy, we believe we will not change, will not become the people we want to be unless we are pushed or forced by suffering to do so. Given this belief, we use methods that do not cultivate mercy and compassion for ourselves but rather foster a hardness toward our own suffering and the suffering of others who are failing to curb or rise above their basic nature. In the face of these methods we do not learn to swim or dance or dream or be all we are. We do not really learn to love fully or allow ourselves to receive love freely. We are too busy surviving.

Quote from: MelissaAnn on March 18, 2018, 08:37:59 AM
When we feel we are by our very nature deeply flawed, self-indulgent, selfish, judgmental and sinful. Our efforts to fulfill our soul's longing to live fully become efforts to control, chastise, reshape, improve, and change ourselves. Believing by nature we are lazy and unworthy, we believe we will not change, will not become the people we want to be unless we are pushed or forced by suffering to do so. Given this belief, we use methods that do not cultivate mercy and compassion for ourselves but rather foster a hardness toward our own suffering and the suffering of others who are failing to curb or rise above their basic nature. In the face of these methods we do not learn to swim or dance or dream or be all we are. We do not really learn to love fully or allow ourselves to receive love freely. We are too busy surviving.

Wow get out of my head. We truly are interesting creatures. Misunderstood feeling bad for not feeling right. Trying hard to keep trying. Grace to you and the rest of us on here. Hopefully we will find some joy along the way of finding our way to be the people we are meant to be.


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Quote from: MelissaAnn on March 18, 2018, 08:37:59 AM
When we feel we are by our very nature deeply flawed, self-indulgent, selfish, judgmental and sinful. Our efforts to fulfill our soul's longing to live fully become efforts to control, chastise, reshape, improve, and change ourselves. Believing by nature we are lazy and unworthy, we believe we will not change, will not become the people we want to be unless we are pushed or forced by suffering to do so. Given this belief, we use methods that do not cultivate mercy and compassion for ourselves but rather foster a hardness toward our own suffering and the suffering of others who are failing to curb or rise above their basic nature. In the face of these methods we do not learn to swim or dance or dream or be all we are. We do not really learn to love fully or allow ourselves to receive love freely. We are too busy surviving.

@ MelissaAnn:  What you wrote is a lovely treatise on the human condition, man or woman, and not only the transgendered person.   Nicely written and very appropriate for here... or any other place.
Well done!!!
Danielle