Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

Any advise is good advise!

Started by Shambles, March 18, 2018, 03:46:22 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Shambles

I wouldnt mind some advise on coming out please, atm it feels like 80% of my anxitiy is coming from keeping the secret and hiding and to be honest its getting to me, stress and anxitiy is effecting my job and family relationships, i can see this but it still doesnt make the conversations any easyer.

Edited out info to remove personal stuff. Thanks for the replys all

Any adivse is very welcome here!

Love you all xx
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020
Oct 18 - Fully out at one job, part out at another
Nov 18 - Out to close family
  •  

Denise

Shambles,

I can only speak from my experience and offer it as a template.  I wish I had thought of this before the first person but alas it was between#2 (my wife) and #3 (work friend).

I saw two therapists.  Both diagnosed gender dysphoria.  At that point I was sure and armed with facts.

I would tell people that I've been diagnosed with gender Dysphoria which is the clinical diagnosis for people who are transgender.

It turns the "coming out" from a choice to a "condition" that can be treated.  The treatment is transition.

I came out to about 100 people in person mostly one at a time.  I had no negative responses.  They get hung up on diagnosis and gender Dysphoria.

Good luck

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.
The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise
  •  

Donna

My own experience. I came out to my doctor first then my wife. She let her family know with permission and then I let my family know after( due to travel to tell mom)  I had talked to my employer. Everyone else finds out as they see me. Today I change my Facebook photo and description. Now everyone else will know. Any questions I just answer with
"I decided to change sides"
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/
  •  

KathyLauren

In my case, I told my wife first, because not being the first to know would have been unacceptable to her, and it was important to me to have her on my side.  For everyone else, it came down to how much I could trust them not to blab.  I very much wanted to be the one to tell people, not have them hear by gossip.  So people I trusted got told earlier. 

I made sure to map out possible connections where gossip could spread.  For example, someone in the concert band was also in the dance class.  So those groups had to be told at about the same time, or everyone would find out by gossip.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
  •  

Shambles

Thanks, its intersting about the not blabbing side too

Its got be my parents 1st. Ether both together or one at a time i think.

Thanks for all your commens, im going to edit down the info in the opening to remove personal stuff x
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020
Oct 18 - Fully out at one job, part out at another
Nov 18 - Out to close family
  •  

Northern Star Girl

Quote from: KathyLauren on March 19, 2018, 08:51:20 AM
In my case, I told my wife first, because not being the first to know would have been unacceptable to her, and it was important to me to have her on my side.  For everyone else, it came down to how much I could trust them not to blab.  I very much wanted to be the one to tell people, not have them hear by gossip.  So people I trusted got told earlier. 

I made sure to map out possible connections where gossip could spread.  For example, someone in the concert band was also in the dance class.  So those groups had to be told at about the same time, or everyone would find out by gossip.

@ Kathy:  Very good reply post and great advice.   When I went full-time I relocated and started living in a very small conservative town and when it finally becomes town gossip I have already been preparing myself and lining up key individuals that I will personally tell about my transition. 
***Another issue: I have been approached by a male suitor and have even gone out on casual dates with him... and once those dates go beyond "casual" it is only fair to the him that I reveal my past and tell him directly... obviously if the date goes bad after that, the town gossip may start and it would be all over town in a matter of a couple days...  I am preparing for that day. 
Thank you KathyLauren for your insights on this matter.
Danielle
****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !

❤️❤️❤️  Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.
  ❤️❤️❤️
             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the Hunted Prey : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: Alaskan Danielle's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 45 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
  •  

Donna

Best of luck with the dating Danielle. Hope all
Goes very smoothly and you have a great time.
Your cute as a button so I'm suprised there is only one person in line.
Lol
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/
  •